A Tribute to Mr Jack

I woke up with a stone in my heart. I was going to do something I had never done before - I was going to kill my own cat. Never in my life had I ever knowingly done that. Lorett was supposed to accompany me, but she had a meeting, so I went on my own.

When I got to UPM, I specifically asked for Vinnie. Loretta had thankfully told her about Jack's condition. I had to at least know what my other options were before I made that final call.

She examined him and told me that I had 3 options -
1) Pull out all his teeth and freeze the infected tissue
2) Put him on antibiotics
3) Put him to sleep

I have difficulty to justify spending more than a hundred on a cat, what more five hundred. For a year, I had wanted to try this, but kept putting it off because it was so expensive. Now option 1 was out. Have tried option 2 - jabs didn't work, and he couldn't swallow pills because his mouth was so badly infected. So I had to decide on option 3.

It was not an easy decision to make. Jack was always a very affectionate cat. He never complained, scratched or bit. He always clambered into my lap and stayed close whenever I'm around. He loved everyone, he'll come over for a rub if anyone came to visit. Outwardly he looked like a happy, healthy cat. But his mouth was getting worse and it wasn't responding to treatment. He couldn't eat regular food, he hardly drank his milk. He had started twitching and losing control; looking shamefaced afterwards.

I started crying when I told Vinnie what I had decided. She left me to say goodbye, I just held him close. He seemed to understand. In fact both he and Pseudo knew since a few days back what was going to happen. I stayed outside while they injected him.Vinnie showed me his mouth afterwards; he had never allowed anyone to open his mouth before. When I saw how bad it was, I knew I had made the right decision. They wrapped him up and put him back in the cage. I cried and cried while waiting for the bill. Oh why did it take so long??

I'm so glad that Vinnie was there and she was the one to put him down. I wouldn't have wanted some ham-fisted doctor to do it. I had to know it was someone who knew him and cared. I had always thought that putting him down was the easy way out; I found that it wasn't easy at all. I thought I would be selfish because it would make life easier for me, I found that I was selfish to make him suffer. If this was a sin, I hope God forgives me. I just did what I thought was the best thing to do.

Rest in peace, Jack. You were the best cat I ever had, and I really, really loved you. It will be a long time before I get another cat... but there will never be another like you.