Sunday, April 21, 2013

C'est la Vie...

Perhaps, it is more normal in life to actually have problems... and possibly, it's important to know what exactly those problems are.

For example, the last few weeks, I'm been in some kind of limbo, not knowing whether I have a problem or not. I go to work, struggle with a million things, then go home, eat whatever crap I threw together, then watch TV or play games until I pass out and wake up the next morning to work again. But at the back of my mind, I was agonising over my housing loan, whether it will be rejected or accepted, knowing that if it falls through, I would be back at square one, looking at houses I don't really want to stay in.

It seems unfair that I have paid all my bills on time, most of the time, but some screw up with my car payments made me ineligible for even a small housing loan. And little did I realise, putting my name in the other house's mortgage could set me back so much in the loan calculations. So even though my actual commitments total less than 40% of my income, the bank calculation comes to a whole lot more.

I have been paying rent, electricity, internet, groceries, cleaners and even giving cash to my sis without getting back my share for months already. I'm thankful I still manage to squirrel away some savings, even though it's less than what I wanted to put away. And I am struggling to pay off my credit card with so many things on my wish list the few months past. Thank God I quit the gym. Couldn't even afford to pay for yoga this month. Right now my plans to hang out in the UK seems a very distant dream :(

Sis has not really looked for a proper job she said she wanted when she quit her previous company, and this temp job only just covers  her car installment, leaving a few hundred for expenses and apparently nothing for me. Her outstanding debt is huge and growing bigger each month. I wanted to help with some, but even the interest is crazy. We wanted to take her to AKPK but she's not exactly cooperating.

Right now, I just wish the other application will come through, so that I can move to my own place. Tak apalah if I can't afford proper fittings and furniture. I'll gladly camp with tikar mengkuang and hand me downs as long as the house is mine. I've spent enough paying rent for other people's property, it's time to get my own. I hope we manage to sort something out... I really need to move on.