Friday, December 12, 2014


Last year I was stressing out about buying the apartment. This year I was busy decorating, and then getting sick. I lost a lot of time, I got exhausted easily, and later I was just too busy keeping up with the housework.

I have not worked very hard this year. You can say I hardly worked. I feel bad about it. I wish I was a normal, competent human being. I wish I could catch up with my work, I am so far behind... I'm so slow, I get distracted all the time.

I hope 2015 will be a better year overall, I hate being a non-performer.

We should discuss hiring a weekly cleaner. K Ayu should chip in, local ones are expensive.

I need to work harder, make full use of the study and the home internet connection. No more fostering little brats. No more games.

May 2015 be the year I learn to work like other people. Amin. 

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

How long has it been?

If my love life in my 20s and 30s was sparse, it's simply nonexistent now :( At least I'm a little more financially comfortable. Alhamdulillah...

Lately I've had very little time for extracurricular activities, and I'm not very sure why. I haven't gone to an MNS talk or gathering for years.I haven't even renewed my membership this year! At least I'm planning a birding trip to Khao Yai in December. Birding has been limited to my apartment grounds, there are very few birds encountered in Indonesia.

Been busy with Mandarin classes the past few weeks, am lucky I passed the exam despite missing classes due to the meeting in Pekanbaru. Taking the following term walaupun malas nak belajar; at some point, I need to keep at something until I'm proficient enough to converse in the 3rd language... It's not fun, it's not glamorous, call it trying to cross the gap between our divided cultures. Bear in mind I also have to fork out about RM410 per term where I learn precious little in class. Unfortunately I need that guidance due to the difficulty in pronouncing the darn language.

Have offered to help at PAWS, hope I can keep at that if I start. I KNOW I won't be able to commit to SPCA or the zoo due to the distance. Yes, I hate driving through jams and I'm very calculative about my petrol consumption, plus, I'm greedy about spending time in the apartment.

Have been enjoying our apartment, I love having aircon and water heater and I'm spoilt for choice with both ASTRO and HyppTV available on top of fast internet. A bit of overkill, really. I really should share our connection with the neighbours, just need to be tactful and not hurt anyone's pride while at it. The cats love the place too, and I like having the balcony where I can plant stuff. Although I spend a bit of time cleaning up the place... No cleaners yet, local ones are damn expensive and I'm getting tired of supporting illegals. Especially the contractors, they REALLY piss me off.

I haven't been working very hard at all this year. Can't work at all at home. By the time I've fed the cats, cleared the kitty litter, watered the plants, cooked and ate, it would be very late already. If I watch TV or play games - done. All time wasted. That reminds me, time to unsubscribe Big Fish and Mind Tools... It's a bit nuts, actually.

Have still not painted our doors after so many months. K Ayu doesn't even consider it la. Bangun pagi main tepon, tengok TV, pegi keja. Balik tengok TV and main tipon lagi. Bloody useless roomate. Dah la bil aku yang bayar, housekeeping pun aku jugak yg kena buat. Masak jangan harap la. Aku ni hamba dia ke hapa gamaknya.

Teringat2 zaman tengok Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Chuck, CSI, Korean dramas non-stop dulu. Sekarang ni Big Bang pun tengok mana sempat aja, Downton Abbey sampai miss a whole season...

Well, my fault too pasal been spending a lot of time playing games. I like the mystery solving stuff even though I don't really like HOPs. And ironically, have been wasting too much time playing time management games.

Also spent time fostering the kittens and managing the brats I guess. Captain had this weepy eye for awhile, Pikachu had a minor kutu problem and Michelle's ear needs constant cleaning. Leo had an infected paw before he disappeared. Gues I spent some time looking for him too. I miss him ;(

Gone are the days I attended parties and had people over to the house. No more Mr Bean, no Mr P, no anak ikan, no Mr Lim. What a boring life I live... No dates, no phone calls, no affection, nothing. Wish I could find someone for real and not scare him away. Is it even possible? I wish it could be...

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Neverending story..

Came home to a severely messy home on Sunday. Seriously, even dishes washed before I left were still on the drying rack when I came home. The tables were full of stuff. The floor was dirty. There was evidence of a half hearted attempt to vacuum before I came home and made noise. I'm just happy my plants are still alive.

Now, five days later, I'm still washing clothes and clearing up, both things brought home and left untended at home. Adoii... My Mandarin exam is in 2 days and I have studied squat. Too immersed in Indonesian while I was in Riau, I've lost the feel for Mandarin. Damnit. Have to really study if I don't want the money paid to go down the drain :P 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014


Strange. Being a normally hesitant person, I have just booked my room in Pekanbaru and Bangkok, and purchased the flight ticket with little trepidation.

The Pekanbaru room is for my extra day in PKU after the series of meetings next week, and Bangkok is for my birdwatching trip in December. I guess there's something to be said about doing things early as opposed to the very last minute (which happens all too often in my life).

Bought MAS tickets instead of Air Asia because I got tired of all the extra charges piled on after you start the booking process. I almost completed my booking yesterday but quit after I realised that the outgoing flight time and date had shifted after I shifted the return date.

Today I decided to check MAS options because they fly to Suvarnabhumi as opposed to Don Meuang. Also ended up paying a lower price because the prices are actually VERY competitive, and there is no extra nonsense like luggage fees and meals. It also meant I shifted my travel dates a day early, but I can get cheap hotels through Agoda and I don't mind having a couple hours extra in BKK. Gives me more time to find the bus station and buy tickets for the group.

I abandoned the Pekanbaru booking too, yesterday because the service tax addition bothered me. Today we had a minor issue with possible meeting postponement, so I was glad I didn't go through with it. The booking today actually cost less than yesterday's, I'm not too sure what the difference was, but I'm quite happy with it.

Hope nothing goes wrong now that I've committed to the trip... Looking forward to a nice getaway soon :) 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

When Abnormal is Normal...

This week I have been going home at about 7 or 8 pm, cooked, ate, watched . I some TV and conked out. I said conked out because unlike other people who consciously GO to bed, I literally fell asleep - in front of the TV or in bed, Sans blanket and with the lights on. This means lower quality rest, which results in a zombified me in the morning. A zombie who is terrified because she has not completed any work, and deadlines are looming as huge as mount everest...

Last night I left about 8, had a waffle and some other junk in the old A&W, then went home. Barely watched CSI, then went to bed. I don't recall switching off the lights... Anyway, woke up at 2.45 a.m., unhappy because I had fully intended to finish proofreading a book that night. Did this and that and finally started reading said document at 4 a.m. Amazingly i understood what I had been reading the past WEEK without success. It was as if I was scanning the text without understanding its contents. So it was nice to finally understand what I was reading about. The downside is, I was in bed, lying down. is this the only way to make stuff compute in my head??? God forbid!

Dozed off at 5 a.m. and woke up for real at about 8 a.m. This morning managed to get SOME minor things done. Did I get 8 hours sleep? No. Did I have uninterrupted sleep? Not really. But being able to catch up with work felt good. It helped me function before noon.

I might have to get a cleaner again. I can't work if I keep stressing about the condition of the house and getting angry with my sister for not helping out enough. She works late, and I NEED to work late. The fact that I can actually come home earlier doesn't mean that I can spend all my waking hours keeping house.

I think I'll allocate 2 half days to housework on the weekends, not more than that. It would make me feel much better to be able to catch up with work. I'm SO behind it sucks.