Monday, February 16, 2015

Ekscherchais...

OK, that's a bastardisation of the word 'exercise'. And in any case, something I should really do more of. Have been considering to buy a city bike, which, is basically the old type of bike we used to have in Melaka. I would LOVE to have something like Yaie's old Raleigh, but ours got stolen years ago, and it would cost thousands to buy a real classic these days.

I took a peek in the shop next to Village Park and a Schwinn costs about RM650. A shop in Sg Buluh is cheaper, with China made city bikes going for about RM250. Have put up an ISO on KL-Wanna Buy, let's see if anyone responds. Am thinking of using it to go to pasar malam and playing around the neighbourhood. Heck, it can even take me to Segi Fresh. Why not?? It's not THAT far... But I'm not 18 anymore, so a rerun of my old 'bike to Ayer Hitam Forest' escapades cannot happen lah. Even going to the shops at the back may be a challenge because I THINK it's an uphill road. The back road leading to Mah Sing should be ok. As long as it's not my main transport, it should be ok lah. Or it could become a tukun tiruan... errr...

Just asked about the old bike I left in DU. Kalau diorang tak pakai, I might as well fix it up and use. Tukar tayar, taruh bakul, boleh la buat pegi kedai kan?

Tiba2 teringat the days when I just started working, I used to ride around the neighbourhood. Hmm... Whose bike did I use ya? Because mine got stolen in Sri Serdang when I was in 2nd year... Was it K Ayu's? For the life of me, I seriously cannot remember! I bought the other bike when I was in CETDEM. Konon nak ride to office la, mentang2 time tu tgh suka cyclist. Ntah hapa hapa la aku ni.

But now, the key objective is getting some much needed exercise. I love climbing, tapi takde geng. Nak Yoga, right now tengah sengkek, kena tunggu bulan depan baru boleh start balik. Nak running/ jogging/ walking - selalu balik malam. Dulu i selalu jogging malam2 kat DU, because the roads tak banyak kereta, well-lighted and safe. My current area - banyak keta, gelap and not so safe. Nak walk keliling padang pun gelap. Haritu testing, almost fell on my face pasal tersadung pavement yang tak rata. Kat parking lot pun kadang2 ada taik anjing. Nak swim, dah naik segan dah tua2 bangka ni pakai swimsuit pendek. Leggings panjang dah buang kot. Kalau nak kena beli baru la. Dah la tak ada pool berdekatan.

Right now, I only panjat tangga, kadang2 bawak barang which means extra effort. And kemas rumah, sometimes bertukang. Itu je la... Once in a blue moon I manage to bully myself into going climbing or macam semalam, join walkathon. I COULD join more walkathons... Hrmm... see lah.

Cemana nak fit balik, banyak nor alasan :P OK la, will take it one step at a time. Think up possibilities and investigate the practicality. I think naik basikal pergi kedai could be a viable option. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

My Idea of Heaven

Is it funny that my idea of 'heaven' is running around freely in American wilderness? You know when we pray, some people say we should envision heaven and hell to help us focus. Well, my vision of heaven is more often than not a stand of deciduous/coniferous  temperate forest. My abode would be a log cabin, with a beautiful stream and lake nearby... I didn't go as far as imagining the handsome companions a person living in heaven is entitled to, but AHEM, it would be much appreciated :D

So funny when people talk about lavish palaces of gold and emerald and silver, luscious grapes and wine, all that could be consumed without suffering ill effects afterward. Well, for me, if I could eat anything yummy without worrying about my sugar level, I'll be happy enough.

Of course I'd be more than happy to loll around all day without having to worry about work and looming deadlines. But I suppose one would need to be very pious and revere God all day to attain that right? Err... I'm not SO pious. Actually, I just want to stay out of hell, 'coz I DEFINITELY don't want to deal with all the torture and pain. So maybe I just want a nice, comfortable place to stay with sufficient food and entertainment? Donno lah. Haha... aci ke macam ni?

Sunday, January 04, 2015

Sasha

I have been pretty sad about the little one's death. Maybe because I didn't have much time to grieve. She died in my arms on 17th December, the day I went to Bangkok for my birding holiday. Buried her under the tree, beside the front garbage collection centre.

Maybe it was for the best, but it hurt all the same. I had been worried that her eye wasn't opening as it should. The flu was better, and the swelling had gone down, but they were half open at best. She wasn't growing much, and drank very little for a 3 1/2 week old kitten.


A few days before, her formula ran out and i decided to just use the cheap one K Ayu bought earlier. But it was sticky and she had diarrhea, so we switched back to the expensive formula.

The day before K Ayu had a meeting and couldn't come home in the afternoon to feed her. I couldn't run either, so I came home as soon as I could but still arrived late. She was hungry so I gave her some soft food on the counter. I was going to move her later, she had become more careful of late so I thought it was ok to let her sit there for a bit. But she lurched forward just as I was pouring her milk and she fell with a sickening splat on her tummy. She seemed ok enough, but she didn't drink as much as she should have. That night she didn't want to drink either. And she puked. I didn't notice how much until I cleaned her towel.

I turned in early and in the morning I found her sprawled on the floor. She was cold. I warmed her for a bit, then put her under a blanket. I was busy - packing, cleaning, this that and the other. Mid morning I coaxed, almost forced her to drink. She stopped drinking and soon after she was limp. I wasn't sure if she was dead, it took me a while to accept that she had gone.

Maybe I had overestimated her age. Maybe she was just too ill to recover. Maybe I was a little cocky, as my fosters usually turned out all right.

I was busy, too busy to take her to the vet. I was on a tight budget too, what with buying Abah's phone AND the upcoming Bangkok trip. We often fed her late, K Ayu left for work by 2, and I only got home by 8 pm. I had the Twins of Faith to attend, I was feeling bad for barely working. I came in late and left the office as soon as I could. I was stressed with all the mess in the house, and the extra work of bottle feeding a kitten. I often put her into her box and started cleaning as much as I could. Work never ends, does it?

Now she's gone, I still have some messes to clean up. Maybe it was the bad milk, but most probably it was internal injuries from her bad fall the night before. I feel so guilty about that. I should have put her on the floor. I shouldn't have put her on the counter. I should have given her more TLC, I should have coddled her that night instead of leaving it to K Ayu and going to bed.

Perhaps it was a test. I needed to realise I was too busy to handle a sick kitten. I'm sorry for all my mistakes, I'm sorry for letting you fall. Rest in peace Sasha, may Allah let us meet again in jannah. 

Monday, December 29, 2014

Why I don't celebrate Christmas

A lot of non-Christians celebrate Christmas. It's a very glitzy, much popularised affair. All those Christmas carols, gifts, trees, cheesy Christmas movies, what have you. What's not to like? I pun join in the festivities too.

But at heart, it's not something I personally celebrate. For one, the cynic in me seriously doubts that it's the real Jesus Christ's birth date. A long time ago Christ's birthday was celebrated in February or April, I can't remember when. (Sorry tak larat nak research. ) December was time for the Yule festival, a pagan holiday. But someone decided to mesh the two together so people moved the date.

I wouldn't mind celebrating the real Jesus' birthday, you know. Isa alaihissalam (pbuh) is one of the greatest and much loved prophets in Islam. We believe in him, and Mary and the book bestowed upon him. But we draw the line at proclaiming him God. Since we agree that there is only one God; if he is God, who was he praying to?

The other reason is because I'm stingy. All this gift giving etc. Wow. That takes a lot of funds, people! I do give to those in need, and to loved ones, at appropriate occassions. But everyone at the same time? Haiya, cannot lar.

I'm actually bengang because someone proclaimed people who don't take to the Christmas spirit are idiots. Oi! Mulut tu jaga sikit boleh tak? Would you wish a Happy Deepavali to a true blue Ah Beng? Nonsense right? If you're not even Christian to begin with, no need to be so sebok la. This aunty also feels the Halloween parties, Oktoberfest and whatnot are just money making themes and don't really need to be celebrated in Malaysia.

Truth be told, too much false cheer can really backfire. Lonely and sad people actually get depressed amid the Christmas cheer.That is why suicide rates are higher in this season. People expect miracles and happiness, and when they don't come, they get even sadder.

So to cut the rant short, I'm not against Christmas. If you're a believer, go for it. And I hope you enjoy the festivities and merrymaking with friends and family. No need to try and cheer me up with something i don't believe in. I'm happy enough, thank you. 

Friday, December 12, 2014

Refocusing?

Last year I was stressing out about buying the apartment. This year I was busy decorating, and then getting sick. I lost a lot of time, I got exhausted easily, and later I was just too busy keeping up with the housework.

I have not worked very hard this year. You can say I hardly worked. I feel bad about it. I wish I was a normal, competent human being. I wish I could catch up with my work, I am so far behind... I'm so slow, I get distracted all the time.

I hope 2015 will be a better year overall, I hate being a non-performer.

We should discuss hiring a weekly cleaner. K Ayu should chip in, local ones are expensive.

I need to work harder, make full use of the study and the home internet connection. No more fostering little brats. No more games.

May 2015 be the year I learn to work like other people. Amin.