Friday, June 05, 2015

Growing Pains

I remember when I was younger, everything excited me. Nothing was too daunting or scary. Now, even the best things are accepted with caution, because I knew that sometimes, things can, and do, go horribly wrong. Call it maturity, I guess.

Last week I collected a new car, a 2nd hand Honda City that used to belong to Jo's mom. It's a lovely car, low mileage, in excellent condition. I love driving it and I'm thankful I got it to replace my dying old Wira. Alhamdulillah the loan went through, and I managed to sell the old Wira, although at a very low price. Boleh la cover my savings... But I knew, if things go real bad, I may not be able to pay the monthly installments, and that's a rather sobering thought.

Even with selling the old car, I still have not banked in the cash deposit, in case something was found wrong with the car during Puspakom inspection. It's still there because I don't want to collect until the new owner drives it home. Insya Allah can transfer ownership by Monday morning.

2 months ago, I met an older gentleman. By some chance, he was walking along Jalan Subang in heavy rain and I gave him a lift home. Now we're actually talking about getting married. A few years ago, I would have been ecstatic. But at this point, there are so many things that I feel I need to consider and investigate. It didn't help that Abah shut down when I tried to talk to him the other day. Sometimes it's so hard to communicate with my own family, it seems. And I have NEVER, EVER told my dad about my boyfriends, so when a serious one comes along, it gets even harder to broach the subject. Doesn't help that he's a funny looking black American either. But he's a good Muslim, except for being a tad gatal. Which I suppose is pretty normal for men, so I'm trying to be cool about it, within reason of course.

Right now, telling my dad has become my biggest headache, along with my inability to work no matter how long I stay in the office. I'm just wasting time, and nothing is getting done. I KNOW that I need to work, but somehow that's not happening... I don't know why I'm so useless and of course people are getting upset. I really don't know what to do...

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Aches and Pains

I'm getting older, and I experience more pain than before... Physical as well as financial.

Today is Graham's birthday. And the start of GST in Malaysia. I'm not going to complain too much, even though I do feel the pinch.

Sent Michelle to the vet the other day and picked her up today. K Ayu brought up a REALLY sick kitten, and it infected all the other cats in the house. The others (thankfully) recovered after a few doses of medicine; but she had it real bad and her cornea got infected. She might have lost a fight with one of the strays or something, but bottomline, her eye almost blew up. She resisted my attempts to clean up her eye on Thursday, and disappeared until Saturday afternoon. I came home late, halfheartedly looked for her and much later found her in my closet. The eye was in a really bad way, as was her ear. SMSed Kristy on Sunday and thank God she was open.

So she did surgery on the eye, cleaned up her ear, etc. Picked her up after 3 days, eye sewn shut to facilitate healing, e-collar in place. The damage? RM507 +11.55 for the collar. Ouch. It could always be worse, so just sucking it up. My tax returns better come in soon! At least she didn't charge me GST. Sometimes I wonder if she's doing OK. There doesn't seem to be much traffic at her clinic...

As for me, having these 4 idiots is not very good for my health, it seems. I'm always getting scratched here and there, intentionally or not. Trina hates being picked up and she does not hesitate to claw her way to freedom if forcibly detained. It doesn't help if I was in a towel at that point. Pikachu, thankfully, doesn't claw his mama on purpose, if at all. Phew. Kopi, being a naughty little brat, just this morning clawed on my ankle to save himself from falling off the bed. OUCH! And Michelle clawed me deep at that juncture between my thumbnail and flesh when I was trying to clean her face the other day. Now the bit gets swollen and painful after a while. Adoi... Dah la aku ni diabetic. Kalau tak, takde la risau sangat.

Hoping my tax returns come in soon. Banyak nak pakai duit ni...

Monday, February 16, 2015


OK, that's a bastardisation of the word 'exercise'. And in any case, something I should really do more of. Have been considering to buy a city bike, which, is basically the old type of bike we used to have in Melaka. I would LOVE to have something like Yaie's old Raleigh, but ours got stolen years ago, and it would cost thousands to buy a real classic these days.

I took a peek in the shop next to Village Park and a Schwinn costs about RM650. A shop in Sg Buluh is cheaper, with China made city bikes going for about RM250. Have put up an ISO on KL-Wanna Buy, let's see if anyone responds. Am thinking of using it to go to pasar malam and playing around the neighbourhood. Heck, it can even take me to Segi Fresh. Why not?? It's not THAT far... But I'm not 18 anymore, so a rerun of my old 'bike to Ayer Hitam Forest' escapades cannot happen lah. Even going to the shops at the back may be a challenge because I THINK it's an uphill road. The back road leading to Mah Sing should be ok. As long as it's not my main transport, it should be ok lah. Or it could become a tukun tiruan... errr...

Just asked about the old bike I left in DU. Kalau diorang tak pakai, I might as well fix it up and use. Tukar tayar, taruh bakul, boleh la buat pegi kedai kan?

Tiba2 teringat the days when I just started working, I used to ride around the neighbourhood. Hmm... Whose bike did I use ya? Because mine got stolen in Sri Serdang when I was in 2nd year... Was it K Ayu's? For the life of me, I seriously cannot remember! I bought the other bike when I was in CETDEM. Konon nak ride to office la, mentang2 time tu tgh suka cyclist. Ntah hapa hapa la aku ni.

But now, the key objective is getting some much needed exercise. I love climbing, tapi takde geng. Nak Yoga, right now tengah sengkek, kena tunggu bulan depan baru boleh start balik. Nak running/ jogging/ walking - selalu balik malam. Dulu i selalu jogging malam2 kat DU, because the roads tak banyak kereta, well-lighted and safe. My current area - banyak keta, gelap and not so safe. Nak walk keliling padang pun gelap. Haritu testing, almost fell on my face pasal tersadung pavement yang tak rata. Kat parking lot pun kadang2 ada taik anjing. Nak swim, dah naik segan dah tua2 bangka ni pakai swimsuit pendek. Leggings panjang dah buang kot. Kalau nak kena beli baru la. Dah la tak ada pool berdekatan.

Right now, I only panjat tangga, kadang2 bawak barang which means extra effort. And kemas rumah, sometimes bertukang. Itu je la... Once in a blue moon I manage to bully myself into going climbing or macam semalam, join walkathon. I COULD join more walkathons... Hrmm... see lah.

Cemana nak fit balik, banyak nor alasan :P OK la, will take it one step at a time. Think up possibilities and investigate the practicality. I think naik basikal pergi kedai could be a viable option. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

My Idea of Heaven

Is it funny that my idea of 'heaven' is running around freely in American wilderness? You know when we pray, some people say we should envision heaven and hell to help us focus. Well, my vision of heaven is more often than not a stand of deciduous/coniferous  temperate forest. My abode would be a log cabin, with a beautiful stream and lake nearby... I didn't go as far as imagining the handsome companions a person living in heaven is entitled to, but AHEM, it would be much appreciated :D

So funny when people talk about lavish palaces of gold and emerald and silver, luscious grapes and wine, all that could be consumed without suffering ill effects afterward. Well, for me, if I could eat anything yummy without worrying about my sugar level, I'll be happy enough.

Of course I'd be more than happy to loll around all day without having to worry about work and looming deadlines. But I suppose one would need to be very pious and revere God all day to attain that right? Err... I'm not SO pious. Actually, I just want to stay out of hell, 'coz I DEFINITELY don't want to deal with all the torture and pain. So maybe I just want a nice, comfortable place to stay with sufficient food and entertainment? Donno lah. Haha... aci ke macam ni?

Sunday, January 04, 2015


I have been pretty sad about the little one's death. Maybe because I didn't have much time to grieve. She died in my arms on 17th December, the day I went to Bangkok for my birding holiday. Buried her under the tree, beside the front garbage collection centre.

Maybe it was for the best, but it hurt all the same. I had been worried that her eye wasn't opening as it should. The flu was better, and the swelling had gone down, but they were half open at best. She wasn't growing much, and drank very little for a 3 1/2 week old kitten.

A few days before, her formula ran out and i decided to just use the cheap one K Ayu bought earlier. But it was sticky and she had diarrhea, so we switched back to the expensive formula.

The day before K Ayu had a meeting and couldn't come home in the afternoon to feed her. I couldn't run either, so I came home as soon as I could but still arrived late. She was hungry so I gave her some soft food on the counter. I was going to move her later, she had become more careful of late so I thought it was ok to let her sit there for a bit. But she lurched forward just as I was pouring her milk and she fell with a sickening splat on her tummy. She seemed ok enough, but she didn't drink as much as she should have. That night she didn't want to drink either. And she puked. I didn't notice how much until I cleaned her towel.

I turned in early and in the morning I found her sprawled on the floor. She was cold. I warmed her for a bit, then put her under a blanket. I was busy - packing, cleaning, this that and the other. Mid morning I coaxed, almost forced her to drink. She stopped drinking and soon after she was limp. I wasn't sure if she was dead, it took me a while to accept that she had gone.

Maybe I had overestimated her age. Maybe she was just too ill to recover. Maybe I was a little cocky, as my fosters usually turned out all right.

I was busy, too busy to take her to the vet. I was on a tight budget too, what with buying Abah's phone AND the upcoming Bangkok trip. We often fed her late, K Ayu left for work by 2, and I only got home by 8 pm. I had the Twins of Faith to attend, I was feeling bad for barely working. I came in late and left the office as soon as I could. I was stressed with all the mess in the house, and the extra work of bottle feeding a kitten. I often put her into her box and started cleaning as much as I could. Work never ends, does it?

Now she's gone, I still have some messes to clean up. Maybe it was the bad milk, but most probably it was internal injuries from her bad fall the night before. I feel so guilty about that. I should have put her on the floor. I shouldn't have put her on the counter. I should have given her more TLC, I should have coddled her that night instead of leaving it to K Ayu and going to bed.

Perhaps it was a test. I needed to realise I was too busy to handle a sick kitten. I'm sorry for all my mistakes, I'm sorry for letting you fall. Rest in peace Sasha, may Allah let us meet again in jannah.