...

Urgh! Feel so tired, hardly slept last night, working on a translation job. And I can't rest because I have to go to my day job!!! Yuck. Might have to skip some activities tonight. I'm a little frayed round the edges...

A Tribute to Mr Jack

I woke up with a stone in my heart. I was going to do something I had never done before - I was going to kill my own cat. Never in my life had I ever knowingly done that. Lorett was supposed to accompany me, but she had a meeting, so I went on my own.

When I got to UPM, I specifically asked for Vinnie. Loretta had thankfully told her about Jack's condition. I had to at least know what my other options were before I made that final call.

She examined him and told me that I had 3 options -
1) Pull out all his teeth and freeze the infected tissue
2) Put him on antibiotics
3) Put him to sleep

I have difficulty to justify spending more than a hundred on a cat, what more five hundred. For a year, I had wanted to try this, but kept putting it off because it was so expensive. Now option 1 was out. Have tried option 2 - jabs didn't work, and he couldn't swallow pills because his mouth was so badly infected. So I had to decide on option 3.

It was not an easy decision to make. Jack was always a very affectionate cat. He never complained, scratched or bit. He always clambered into my lap and stayed close whenever I'm around. He loved everyone, he'll come over for a rub if anyone came to visit. Outwardly he looked like a happy, healthy cat. But his mouth was getting worse and it wasn't responding to treatment. He couldn't eat regular food, he hardly drank his milk. He had started twitching and losing control; looking shamefaced afterwards.

I started crying when I told Vinnie what I had decided. She left me to say goodbye, I just held him close. He seemed to understand. In fact both he and Pseudo knew since a few days back what was going to happen. I stayed outside while they injected him.Vinnie showed me his mouth afterwards; he had never allowed anyone to open his mouth before. When I saw how bad it was, I knew I had made the right decision. They wrapped him up and put him back in the cage. I cried and cried while waiting for the bill. Oh why did it take so long??

I'm so glad that Vinnie was there and she was the one to put him down. I wouldn't have wanted some ham-fisted doctor to do it. I had to know it was someone who knew him and cared. I had always thought that putting him down was the easy way out; I found that it wasn't easy at all. I thought I would be selfish because it would make life easier for me, I found that I was selfish to make him suffer. If this was a sin, I hope God forgives me. I just did what I thought was the best thing to do.

Rest in peace, Jack. You were the best cat I ever had, and I really, really loved you. It will be a long time before I get another cat... but there will never be another like you.

Bosan

Hari ni apa ke jadahnya aku rasa bosan la tersangat amat nak menyiapkan satu job yang tak sudah-sudah dari minggu lepas. Pasal satu job tu ajer aku dah tak senang duduk, makan dan tido; pasal walaupun cuma satu dokumen, tapi nak mengedit benda alah tu, punyalah banyak material kena baca... Pulak tu, baca punya baca, takde pulak material yang aku perlukan... Tak jadi kerja lain, emails and tasks lain bersepah-sepah, tapi nak kena fokus jugak kat yang satu nih. Last-last satu habuk pun tak jadi. Aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!! BOSAN!!!! HELPP!!! TOLONG, KELUARKAN AKU DARI SINI!!!

Silap2 karang ada jugak aku cari member pi main boling sat lagi. Aktiviti mencampakkan objek yang berat untuk menjatuhkan sebanyak mana musuh merupakan suatu aktiviti yang teramat menarik pada tika dan saat ini.

Will blog again when I have returned from insanity.... :-p

Weekend? What weekend?

Last weekend passed by in a record breaking blur leaving me in a still unrested state by Monday. Had left the weekend free to see to various personal tasks and an unfinished report, but somehow the time just vanished into thin air...

Had spent Friday night in the Loretta's house, watching a totally pointless movie, an excuse for hanging out with Karen who was in transit back to Canada. Met up again for breakfast Saturday morning, lingering for a chat until just before the taxi came for her at twelve.

Got home, did a few chores and got started on a few ideas triggered by the Bear the night before. Was very reluctant to stop, but finally did to join the Tekadmons training at Summit at4.45 pm (half-hour in the jam). Took over Azura's second game with pathetic results. Most of the balls were damaged and holes were far too small, although I have slender fingers!! The ones that fit were no 16. Okay... am not that strong, No 16 is for GUYS! Went for an early dinner afterwards. Got a wee bit lost 'coz I wasn't paying attention as to the location of the mamak, and what I got from Chaain't was right - right - left. Started counting too soon... Anyway, all was not lost. Stopped by Aizan's, came back, played games, wasting time and slept at 3.00 a.m.

Next day, got up early for a walk in FRIM with Aizan n co. Was forced to remember latin names of trees from long ago and trekked uphill and downhill for long hours. Ended session with lunch at Marche, came back and wasted more time at the computer. Hmmm...

Took time out to read Da Vinci's code - excellent book. Stopped to go for nasi kerabu dinner at Aizan's. As usual, lepaking with the gang - playing Taboo, watching the Apprentice final and just hanging out. Left with Inas at 12.30. The gang looked set to stay, but dispersed when we took our leave. For once slept a little earlier last night.

Today, hung on to the book until I absolutely had to go to work. Spent the day reading materials for the report I was working on, something I could have done during the weekend if I wasn't so busy socialising... Sigh... what to do? I'm a party animal deep inside :-p

Splinters

Splinters of broken promises
Shards of shattered dreams
Embedded so deeply inside
Unmovable lest it pains us more
Hidden to all but those who seek

While the splinters and the shards
May never be completely removed
All is not lost while there is hope
Where there is a will, there will be a way

The hurt will slowly ebb
Sorrow does not forever last
Find solace in the arms of forgiveness
Seek shelter in the arms of love

Keep your eyes on the blessed prize
Life does not for a cursed day end
Be strong and be brave
For someday, you will be whole again

~ Passiflora, April 2005 ~

Too Much of a Good Thing? Maybe, maybe not...

I have always maintained that if the guys I had known all these years had taken better care of me, I wouldn't be as ugly and tough as a rhino's hide today. For the sake of survival, I have always done whatever is necessary myself. Well, to be fair, SOME of the guys did take good care of me, like my "abang2" of my landscape studio in my final year (Hort degree) who sweetly made me coffee and stole rambutans for me . :D

Anyway, something quite out of the ordinary happened today - someone tried to "take care" of me! Okay, okay... boring stuff to you sweet, beautiful girls; but not for me, kay?

I had gone to TESCO Mutiara Damansara to get my groceries and found that the car park was jammed full. I was driving around, trying to find a recently vacated spot when I saw this family moving towards their vehicle. The guy signs that I can have his space. So I waited patiently for him to stash their groceries and stroller in the Honda. Yes, stroller, the one that carried the baby, believed to belong to guy in question. (Darn, all the nice ones are taken!!)

In the meantime, a second spot opens, just a few lots away. An old uncle wants to reverse in and motions for me to go forward. I point to the spot I'm waiting for and he nods. Honda Guy comes out and actually tells uncle the spot belongs to me. Oh, how the very malufying! I go a little forward, intending to reverse in. Honda Guy exits, a Matrix steals my spot!! Oi... hello!!! I stride over to cute Chinese guy driving Matrix and point out that I had been waiting 5 minutes for that spot. Matrix Guy nicely agrees to vacate. I go back to my car, to find that another spot had opened up and nice guy had actually 'booked' it for me. As the traffic was starting to jam up behind us, I decided it would be easier to take up the new spot instead of reversing into the other. As I entered the new space, Matrix exits and another car takes up the space. Ooops... Sorry!! Matrix guy gives me a dirty look as he drove by.

Felt a little bad for Matrix guy, but hey,
1) He stole my spot. That's a big no no
2) He chose the wrong victim; some other girls would have let him get away with it. (Maintain that I was VERY nice when I pointed out the fact that he had stolen my spot. So there!)

Can't help feeling a bit strange about the whole business, I usually handle things myself. But then, hey, it sure is nice to be taken care of once in a while. ;D

Walking The Thin Line

Sometimes I forget that I'm walking on a thin line. One false step might cost me a lot more than I can afford. I spend alot of time with people who already got 'there', I sometimes forget that I still have a ways to go... It's great to spend time with these people, it gives me hope that one day, I'll be there too. Till then, tread carefully, dear...

Bowlimania

A bunch of us went to practice for the upcoming event yesterday in U-Bowl, 1-Utama (new wing). The place is brand new, have come over a few times to practice. During weekdays they have a buy one free one promo, so the RM6 per game translates to just RM3, which is a pretty good deal. Yesterday, there was no offer, but we got free games anyway.

How?? :-D

Well, 4 of us started first after paying for 2 games. Another 5 came later and joined us for the 2nd game. We paid for one more, but near the end of the 2nd round, everything went dead!! So we argued and the guys gave us one free game. We restarted, so this became our 3rd round. On the 4th round, it happened again. So one more free game, making the total 5 for some of us!! By the end, us girls dah tak larat nak angkat bola dah, my thumb is actually bruised in one corner (near the nail edge), and our points suffered. The boys, on the other hand, rose to the occasion, and scored gila2. Chaain't actually got a "turkey" (4 strikes) plus some and scored 184, Azam got more than 5 strikes, I think; Bet and Ben also got very high points. We finished at almost seven, so we went to pray and reconvened for dinner, courtesy of our banker, Chaain't and his lovely wife.

The next practice is tentatively set for Wednesday night, but I'd like to check about the prices before we confirm.

Ta, guys! Have to go, got a million things to take care of. :-p

Have I reached a state of Zen or Zombieism?

Woke up late today due to late night reading, Pinball and an inter-ex-school poetry vendetta I had reluctantly been dragged into. I shall not attempt to elaborate further. Decided to play hooky and bowl before entering the temple of financial income, fully aware that it would mean staying till late and missing Ilham EP altogether.

Along the way felt that tyre was abnormally noisy and car was pulling to the left. Initially thought it was the alignment and wanted to put off checking until I was parked, but decided to stop and take a look after a particularly rough patch. Knowing PJ, also known as 'Pothole Jaya'; I would effectively destroy my rim should I be driving around with a flat tyre.
Unfortunately, it was exactly as I feared; the tyre was flat AND damaged. I'm not sure about the rim though, will have to go to the shop and find out.
Fortunately, I knew how to deal with a flat tyre. Before you guys go like "Nak tunjuk macho la tu..", please realise that I have always driven old cars, except when this car was new la; and I plan to continue driving it for a long time still. Changing tyres is a survival skill.
Anyway, being a female in Malaysia, I knew that:
1) All you have to do is jack the car up and switch damaged tyre with the spare
2) There will always be a kind soul who will offer to help do the above

I was right. Barely 5 minutes after I started jacking, a guy stopped and offered to help. So he did the jacking while I got the spare from the boot. Thank God that my spare was present, in serviceable condition and in the right size (quite often, dishonest mechanics switch spare tyres with those of a wrong size, making emergency changes impossible). Soon, tyres were switched and tools stashed into the boot. I gave the guy a tenner for his help, drove to the nearby Esso to pump tyre up and proceeded to the office. Cool.

Now will have to figure out what I should do to minimise damage to my cashflow and allocated budget. Some things like replacing all tyres can wait, I suppose. I might have to fork out $$ for a new rim, preferably a used one if I can find it. Maybe take a look at the alignment to make sure things are OK. Anyone knows a good place to do alignment? My regular shop in TTDI is pretty expensive. Feedback please!

He he... am in the process of learning to be financially savvy and live below my means. Not easy, but will get there, insya-Allah. Any tips would be very welcome. :D

Brain Drained

Have not felt so mentally tired for a long time. Well, not up to the max, but stretched it a little more than I usually do. Yeah, yeah, have not learnt anything new for a long time. This GIS software is really something else!! I took my time learning MS Access. Now I'm trying to learn this software and use it for real work within a week! Aduss... Am leaving office now. Gonna treat myself to an ice-cream or something yang sewaktu dengannya on my way home. :-)

Today Matters...

It's almost 2.00 a.m. and I'm blogging. My table is littered with overflowing IN and IN-Progress trays, plate, unread books, tudung and misc odds and ends. There's about a million little things that need to be done around the house and I have about a million emails, articles, and other things to read. There are email discussions, pissed volunteers, work and god knows what else to deal with.

Mungkin Nanti is playing in the background. Jack is in my empty out tray and Pseudo is on the other chair. My head is still full of memories from the UTP Career Roadshow and my heart is filled with joy. Will start doing whatever needs to be done today. Guess anything is possible when you're feeling so up. Hope everyone is as happy as I am too. Mwaah!! Luv you guys!

Lagu Tema UTP Career Roadshow

Mungkin Nanti - Peter Pan

Saatnya ku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudah la lepaskan semua
Kuyakin inilah waktunya

Chorus 1:
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi

Chorus 2:
Satu pintaku
Jangan kau
Coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

{Guitar riff}

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku

Repeat Chorus 1 & 2

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi

Repeat Chorus 2

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesalan kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri
……………………….

What a day!!

For once worked pretty hard the whole day long. Started late, so stayed back a bit later today. Am trying to learn a new software, and boss had insisted that I do this online training exercise thingy. Not so difficult, but as with any learning effort, you'll just have to follow the instructions one by one, otherwise you can get pretty lost. Kind of challenging for someone who is so used to letting her imagination run wild and cooking up a story for her report; with some hard facts thrown in, of course.

Last night had a meeting for UTP Roadshow. Was planning to meet up with an old friend afterwards, but plan was completely jinxed. The phone line was bad, he had a hot date lined up and my car was sitting in the LRT station unsupervised, with my notebook inside some more. Decided to skip ikan bakar meal and go home. I was starting to feel tired after so many late nights.

Tonight, went home before nine, just managed to change and went out again for dinner. Picked up Santi at Atria, then went to Thai Kitchen in SS2 where Yumiko, Eugene, Sheryl and David were waiting. James came by a little later. Had a huge dinner, since the ones who came early had ordered a lot of food for the 7 of us. Even James could not fulfil his role as official mobile garbage disposal unit.

Y's off to Cambodia tomorrow, and I'm official caretaker of her unit while she's gone. Woo hoo! Will definitely swim this week since I have to go over and water the plants anyway. But have forgotten to buy new goggles - old one broke apart... Must get them on Monday.

Off to Fraser's Hill tomorrow for UTP thingamagic. Have not prepared anything as yet; Asma will be coming early tomorrow morning. Yuck. Must go pack now, then choose photos and print interview questions. Bye now!!

A Little Too Much on the Plate?

Woke up late today, because slept very late last night. Worked at home to finish a project, had lunch, then went to the office to do the other main task. Left around six, got some food, ate, went to MNS monthly committee meeting, then had the customary informal meeting at Mahbob's afterwards. We went home at 1.30 a.m.

Have barely arrived home, am already checking email and writing a short blog. Have a few chores to attend to. Later, will need to sort out my emails and deal with a few other things before going to bed. The funny thing is that I don't really feel sleepy lately. So I have to decide when to stop and switch off. Problem is, I'll wake up 6 hours later, reagrdless how many alarms try to wake me up. Lucky my office is flexi-time. But still, I need to find the time to work before other commitments drag me away.

Guess should cut back on the extra stuff, but some things like MNS really mean a lot to me; and it's hard to resist spending time with great people like D3Katians and the Tekadmons. So how aa? Books will say - prioritize. Sure, but it's easier said than done for me!! :-)

Book & Movie Marathons

Hi!! Sorry have not updated lately, have had not much idea of what to say. Been busy with mundane things like work, picking up clothes from tailor, cleaning house, yada yada yada. Who wants to know about that kind of stuff?? Some nice things did happen, like lepaking at Mosin's after IEP, meeting up an old friend for lunch on Saturday and getting free food at Marche last night. Nothing cataclysmic...

Had spent the past few days reading, watching old movies and old TV serials. Finished a book I picked up at KL Success Shop on Thursday - "Chocolate for a Woman's Soul" - easy reading, uplifting; won't say it's extremely good, but Ok la.
Am in the middle of "Eat That Frog" by Brian Tracy - supposed to be very good to cure procrastination.
Also got "Today Matters" by John C. Maxwell - he's an excellent motivational speaker, very interesting and to the point. No pretentious bullshit, just plain facts in your face. The kind of stuff I like.

Stayed up on Saturday night watching some old movies I never had the chance to watch - The Full Monty, Without a Paddle and Stepford Wives. Don't be surprised, I just watched Finding Nemo a few weeks ago! All these were borrowed from a friend's house. Also borrowed "Sex & The City" DVDs, since I didn't have the chance to watch them when they were on air. Just trying to catch up with the 1st and 2nd season, but was very disappointed to find that Disc 3 Season 2 contained the 1st 6 episodes. Sigh... Should go and buy my own collection...

Something interesting though. A friend handed down the Sex & The City book to me last year and I absolutely hated it. The other book by Candace Bushnell, 4 Blondes was just as disgusting. The men were all d***heads and the women were sl**s (pardonnez ma Francais). In the book, Carrie smoked pot and drank until she threw up. It was very off-putting. I couldn't help checking out the book again, because I loved the show. In the show, Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda & Samantha were actually lovable, normal people; cool, mature, independent women looking for their soulmates. Ok la, Sam is a bit on the easy side, but hey, I'm not the moral police. I thought Big was adorable and Skipper Johnson sweet. It was NOT like that in the book. The book was heavily laced with bitter sarcasm and filled with some really sickening people. Am glad the series wasn't such. Kudos to the writers! Well, maybe I shouldn't speak too soon, have not seen the rest of the series. May turn out to be really bad in the end. But so far, so good la.

Well, gotta get off now, have to earn my salary. Ciao!! @};-