Feeling toxic

Found out recently that a few of my colleagues had latent infections... Man, that sucks big time! I don't know how I can show my face at the office now. It's one thing for me to struggle with a disease, but passing it on is not something I ever want to do. Have messaged my apologies (doubt they'll want to take my calls) and so far all I've got is stony silence. If I was Japanese I'd have to commit harakiri for bringing disease to my workplace... As it is, I'm sorely tempted to leave. I don't have much heart to soldier on these days. I have been struggling to balance work and my pathetic life for so long, and all I managed to get is a disease due to poor health. So many sleepless nights, stressful days and fruitless hours of work. Maybe I'll be better off sorting shelves at the neighbourhood supermarket instead of trying to be a white collar worker who doesn't know head or tail of what she is supposed to do.

It's past midday and I'm still bellyaching instead of doing real work. Spent hours changing the sheets, sweeping, mopping and cleaning the loo before I even entered the study. At least I've sorted out the pile of junk. Should take out the trash and check my mailbox before eating lunch. Think I'll do some tagine and couscous today. Then I really must get back to work. Even if I don't want to... I need plan B :(