Sometimes, jokes hurt. A friend recently joked about lezzers and accused me of being one too. I ignored it, but inside it hurt. Just because I don't take liberties with my male companions doesn't mean I don't like men. I do! But being a practicing Muslim come with certain codes of conduct governing the relationship between men and women. Halal and haram does not apply only to food... So I refrain from physical contact no matter how much I want to.
The same friend also made fun of another guy friend due to the same thing - that he behaved 'differently'. Yet I know that he is just being a well-mannered, God-fearing Muslim man. I'm sure he's not gay, and I'm sure he would behave like any other red-blooded male with his future wife. Just because we observe the rules don't make us strange. We simply operate with a different set of rules. I feel some of your 'rules' nonsensical, so why impose your values on us? It's ridiculous!
I find it so disturbing because I know that I'm not a goody2. I bend the rules on a regular basis, yet in this matter, the boundaries have been so ingrained that it's impossible to cross the line despite numerous opportunities to do so. If ever I could have justified so much as kissing a man I wanted, I would have done so. But I CAN'T. At the end of the day, it's between me and God, and that relationship is too important to severe.
It hurts enough that I can't find a man who loves me, not being able to gain any emotional security. To be accused of preferring girls is way too much. I know I'm hopeless when it comes to guys, but please, don't accuse me of being what I'm not. Not if you want to call yourself a friend.
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