Getting Real

After the incredulity of realising that I was not as smart as I thought I was, it's now time to make amends for my mistakes. I'll need to learn to think again. It's not easy after running on autopilot for years. Low standards made me think I could do a lot of stuff. I could, but not PERFECTLY.

I'm studying again, learning and trying to catch up with what I was already supposed to know. Wild guesses don't work anymore. This is business. There are limits, there are expectations, and there are standards. At the end of the day, it all boils down to... "Do you want the job or not?"

And what choice do I have? This is what I had imagined doing for years, and failure is not an option. What else would I do for the rest of my life?

Funny enough, I found myself making references to the Grey's Anatomy characters.
- Could I ever possibly be like Meredith who was smart, sharp and hot at the same time?
- Also like McDreamy, Addison, Burke, Dr Bailey and the Chief who are superbly competent people.
- Or Christina, though I wouldn't want to be a slob and a tad self-centered.
- Or Izzy, who is good but a wee bit too emotionally involved.
- Or Alex, who is a basic jock, but then, history made him that way.
- I think my boss is a lot like Dr Bailey - tough Nazi, but there's a heart somewhere in there.
- Unfortunately I am a lot like George O'Mally who is a little blur much of the time and blanks out under pressure... Talk about being scared brainless... :p

Obviously I love the series, and hey, who says all the learning is in the books? :-)

I really blanked out the other day, and sometimes my brain just completely refuses to cooperate. For someone who thinks Gurmit is a teddy bear, it's something to be said about someone who could turn me into a blithering idiot. Or expose the underlying idiot. Whatever it is, I need to get my act together - Fast! Pray for me, please... I just can't afford to strike out on this...