Today is Bad Fiction Day

Ever since I enthused about Hans after watching Cuci the other day, someone has been convinced that I'm in love with the guy. Eh, hello, I'm so not eighteen okay? And as for fans, the guy can petik jari and a gazillion girls will come swarming over to him la. I'm just behaving like any other girl enjoying the scenery. Or like boys drooling over Angelina Jolie. 1) They know they can't beat Brad Pitt, and 2) They know she's so way out of their league. But what if...

[Disclaimer: the rest of this is purely out of the demented writer's overactive imagination]

I can't believe this. She set me up! Dragging me along for an event, inviting me to join 'an old friend' for dinner, and then excusing herself with some cockamamie story. Unbelievable.

So there I sat, incredulously watching my bl**dy ex-colleague sashay off to her imaginary appointment. I was left with a cute movie star whom I enjoyed watching on stage but had no delusions of dating. What would the gossipmongers say? That he'd run out of luck and ended up in an escort service? One, I have no budget to pay for social escorts and two, do I look like someone he'd voluntarily ask out for dinner? Dammit. We'd already ordered and truth be told, I was hungry. I decided to suffer the uncomfortable silence until after I've stuffed my face. They we can politely say goodnight and I can go find that woman and strangle her.

"Ehm.. so... you're a freelance writer?"

Alamak.. he's trying to make polite conversation la pulak. Oh well, what's the harm in that? I put on a fake smile. "Partly. I prefer translating, but writing jobs help fill in the gaps."

"But you used to write full time? What do you write about?"

Alaa mamat nih.. Bagi la aku translation job. Takyah la tanya pasal writing. Adeh... "Yeah, used to write full time for My World magazine. Got tired of it after a while. Had no time to do stuff, working all the time. I did the feature pages, interviews, health stories, stuff like that."

I decided to turn the tables on him. "So, what are you working on now? Any new projects?" Darn, now I sound like a gossip columnist prying for a scoop.

"I have some ideas, I need a scriptwriter to flesh it out into a story." Oh no! He's angling for a scriptwriter. Aku mana la reti tulis skrip cik abang oi! saba ajelah. I need a way out. "Hmm, I could ask a few friends. Hey, I heard you scuba dive. Is that true?" Cross fingers, hope this works...

"Yeah! Do you dive?" He was enthusiastic. Good!

"No, I just swim. And snorkel sometimes." Amazingly, the conversation turns to nature and outdoor activities, which we both enjoy. This isn't half bad, I thought.

After the dinner, he walks me to the car and we hug goodnight. Okay, yes, I feel guilty doing it. But I couldn't resist. Can't be too prudish at this age la. It's just a hug...

As I crawl into bed that night (early morning, actually), I saw a message on the phone. It was him. [Hope you got home safely. Good night!.] Oops.. when did that come in. Oh well, too late to reply now. Never mind, I'll do it tomorrow.

The next morning I decided to go for a swim before breakfast. I had finished a job the night before (hence the late hour) and the next thing won't be due until next week. I could spend an hour doing laps in the pool.

As I swam back and forth, I reflected on how lucky I had been. I recently managed to get my own pad, after years of dreaming about it. My unit is on the first floor of a walk-up apartment block. I initially wanted one on a higher floor, but those are larger and more expensive. Anyway, I wanted a place low enough for Leo to go roaming about without worrying about height related accidents. Now I'm back to freelancing, I could spend time cleaning, cooking and exercising instead of working all the time. Plus, I could nap in the afternoons and take a break during Ramadhan. My body clock gets really screwed up with all the bangun sahur and whatnot. Projects are coming in, and payments are not too bad either. I wasn't worried about car and house installments. Even managed to stash some money in KWSP and savings. I wasn't doing too bad at all.

Walking home after my swim, I noticed someone loitering near my front door. Uh oh! Darn, could it be some felon who sailed past the security guards? As I got closer I realised that it was Hans. Omigod... what the heck is he doing here? I ventured an unsteady hi.

He looked up and saw my dripping wet form. He looked closer. Eh hello! Stop ogling me in my swimmers can or not, you pervert? Don't you have enough pretty girls to look at? Now some tired old woman also you want to kacau? I cocked an eyebrow. He had the temerity to grin at me. Shit. I'm a sucker for cute guys and... "What's up?" I blurted out. Sigh. Stress always made me say the stupidest things. No wonder I don't date!

"You never replied my SMS."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot this morning. It was late when I saw it. Please don't tell me you came because of that. Don't you have appointments or something?" Damn, my mulut totally lost its insurance there.

"I wanted to talk to you about my story idea, see if you want in on the scriptwriting."

Owh.. that makes more sense. I invited him in and started a pot of coffee brewing. He made use of my computer while I changed. Now, how do i tell him that I've never done fiction in my life? Oh well, I'll wing it...

And that, was how our friendship started.

**************************
I'm obviously not much of a fiction writer, but I decided I need to exercise my creativity a little bit more than usual. Today was an off day for me, no work whatsoever, so I actually came up with this crazy story while playing Bejeweled 2. Did you enjoy it? It really doesn't matter. I just needed to get my brain moving, that's all. Good night!!

Mari Merarau...

Tiba2 teringat perkataan yang dipelajari 2 tahun lepas semasa mengikuti kursus terjemahan.

Selama ini kita selalu menggunakan ungkapan 'makan tengahari' untuk menterjemahkan 'lunch'. Satu yang aku kurang gemar dengan menulis BM ini adalah perkataan2 yang panjang2 belaka. Namun di seberang laut Cina Selatan sudah lama menggunakan perkataan yang straight to the point bila tiba time lunch - MERARAU.

Usaha mempopularkan perkataan ini di semenanjung masih belum berhasil, tetapi alangkah senangnya kerja penterjemah kalau perkataan ini digunakan ramai...

Mari tingkatkan penggunaan Bahasa Malaysia yang betul. :)

Oh Wither Did Thy Heart Go??

Sometimes when things just ain't right, the answer boils down to not having the heart. The heart is all powerful. It drives you- your wants, your desires, your needs. It gives energy and zeal and excitement. It can race or skip a beat. It can also stop dead in its track, or cause you to stop short in yours...

But what if you have no idea where your heart is? You don't know where it lies. You don't know what excites you. And you don't know how to get it back. Is it dead? Can it be revived? What caused it to die in the first place? Was it a poison? Was there ever a spark?

I don't know...

Ode to a Baju Buruk

As I was putting away my clothes the other day, I noticed how frayed the collar of my favourite pink shirt has become. Over the years, I've bought and given away a pile of clothing, but two of my favourite shirts are still my weekend favourites. Bought 13 years ago when I first started work, I remember paying a mere RM9 for each at a discount store in Atria.
Tried buying others, but the material was invariably too thin or too thick. My dad's old shirts - didn't make the grade either. Just spoke to a girl who is a bit butch, she seemed a little shy to be wearing men's shirts on our magazine. Assured her that I wore men's shirts too and realized that it's true - i love those old shirts!
Reasons -
i) I love the cotton that absorbs sweat as I hike/bird/kayak/do marketing/wait for car repairs
ii) I love the feel of the cotton which, after years of washing, have turned so soft and comforting on the skin. They even qualify as nightwear.
iii) The length and cut is just right. They cover my ass and hips without being too boxy.
iv) They're fuss free. They don't snag, they're easily washable. I can take them to the market and the forest and not worry about stains.
Due to job requirements I never wear those shirts to work la, but darn, can't beat them when it comes to my weekend activities. What WOULD I do if those shirts finally give up the ghost??

What's Up Doc?

Am feeling a bit run down now. Been a long day, but want to finish something before I sign off. Esok ada assignment, meaning half the day will be outside. Lagipun kalau tak push sekarang, esok karang tonggang terbalik nak kejar deadline.

Last weekend - layan personal matters. Nak repair keta aja dah 4 1/2 jam! Tak tau la kenapa kedai tu tukar bulb lampu dengan hon pun sampai 2 jam. Pastu tukar absorbers + arm lagi 2 jam 1/2. Boring gila tunggu kat situ. My regular shop ok sikit...

Ni dok call sana, call sini, email sana, email sini.. write up tak siap2. Jangan la jam kepala hotak aku ni. Niaya!