Goodbye 2020...

 I guess I decided to abandon this blog last year. No one reads blogs anymore. Life has also become so busy since I started working in a digital publishing company in September. I actually had an almost serious relationship the past year! It's fizzled out, though... 

Had a few writing ideas recently and kind of feel like blogging again, mainly because my long posts would probably not be read on Facebook anyway. Let's just say that it's too personal to share on FB which is read by family members as well as close friends. The blog seems a lot more impersonal that way. 

I'm tapping this out on the ASUS tab I bought in 2018. I didn't use it much and thought of selling it off. But it's not the most joyful gadget I've used and I balked at selling an inferior item. It's not too bad, actually. It's good enough for playing games and watching videos on. I do need something more robust for photo editing and working. Kak Ayu has started using the laptop again and it's not very pleasant to share with her. I work on the office computer most of the time, so any personal devices don't get much use. Still, I really need to start selling my photos or something. I need to pay off my debts and save more money. 

2020 is a year that will come down in history as a big lemon. It had its advantages though, like working from home, which is a HUGE relief for someone who works in Cyberjaya. I DO NOT enjoy spending so much money on my daily commute. I also got a laptop to work on, so that I can pick up and leave if the surroundings is uncomfortable at the office. 

2021 is not the most promising at the moment. My contract runs out in March and I'm not sure if it would be renewed. As with many things and jobs, it has its pros and cons. I'd rather not go into it right now. I should go pick up a few things in Jaya Grocer and clear off some outstanding work. I meant to do them yesterday but bill paying and grocery shopping ate up most of my day... Til later then. Ciao!!

Drowning

Do you sometimes feel that you're drowning in little, inconsequential matters? Too much of this and that. Too many bits and bobs. Too many distractions. Too many sideshows.

I finally mopped the disgusting floors this morning, totally embarrassed with the condition of the house, even if it was just the electrician coming. The washing machine had jammed a few WEEKS ago, and today was the 3rd time someone came to fix it. I hope it works fine now that the culprit has been found - my long lost metal disc for the phone holder. It worked its way into the hose and completely blocked it.

Had a vanful of Korean tourists a few weeks back and spent so much time, luckily not money, checking and fixing the leaky radiator. Turned out to be the inexpensive cap, phew! Spent days agonizing if I had charged too much, etc etc... Sigh.

Went to see Anaz and Mr Paul last week - less working hours, less money. Well, I spent time shooting hoops and watching K-dramas too, so can't blame them. I like having almost free Korean classes and I don't mind organising the class too, but it does take up time. I came back early to check the location on Saturday and never went out to work again afterwards.

Abah nak pergi HCMC early Saturday morning, I went over to DU on Friday night. Barely earned anything that day. Hantar Abah of course la FOC, takde la any courtesy to hulur2 duit dekat his struggling daughter. Maybe he thinks I am doing well, but I feel so taken for granted. When was the last time he gave me a present?

Lost my temper Saturday night because I was hungry and there was no food at home. Kak Ayu tak kerja tapi dok melengong doing nothing. Sikit tak terfikir nak masak apa2 untuk orang, kemas, lap. Biar aja rumah jadi penuh habuk and berkeladak.

I pay most of the house bills, repairs, maintenance; I buy food, cat food, kitty litter. Kak Ayu nak cuci pinggan pun berkira; I wiped the cabinets in the middle of the night because dah tak tahan tengok berkeladak sangat. Hairball kucing atas cabinet got covered with a tissue paper instead of being cleaned. Sakit hati tak?? Machine rosak, buat bodoh aja sampai I repair. I have to find the technician, I have to pay for repairs. Sampai duit yang I kumpul nak bayar bil boleh tak cukup. Sedih tau.

When I go Grabbing, I would be working until late, tapi kadang2 collection RM200 pun tak cukup. Tolak sana sini, berapa je yang finally masuk account. Some more kalau rating turun, lagi la I depressed.

Gadai rantai to keep my credit card clear. Used the money to buy new tyres and service the car. The "injured" part tak hantar repair pun lagi. My car maintenance records semua tonggang langgang. Apa yang tak bersepah these days?? My Grab expense records semua ke laut. Made another CIMB balance transfer today, hope it will help me clear both CIMB and AEON cards.

Baru nak tengok Sungai Yu website and Translator base job. Password pun dah tak ingat and I couldn't find anything in the notebook.

Zairi asked me to do another notice board update weeks ago and I have yet to send it in. Worked on it this morning tapi tak sudah sudah. Kenapa, ek? Frust betul. I'm sure people are unhappy with me too :(

RWW photos were pretty lousy. Took a bunch of photos out the window semalam, also like crap. I feel like I don't have sufficient time to get things sorted these days. Processed last week, hari ni baru send to Alex. FB tak update lagi walaupun dah ambik banyak gambar.

I watched bits of Seoyoung, My Daughter semalam. I love the drama, but it's so damn long and quite melancholic. Saw some comments loving the Sangu-Hojeong couple. I agree that they're a lot more entertaining than SeoYoung and Ujae, but I cannot tahan the ditzy Hojeong la. Drives me up the wall! kesian kat Migyeong, but she's a tough cookie, so she'll survive.

Binged on Coffee Prince yesterday and skipped a lot of parts. Still very entertaining. I really need to work today. It's almost 5 and I'm still in front of the computer. Photos tak hantar lagi. Nak send location and gambar pintu depan. Bla bla bla... when will it all end???

Maybe I should stop watching K-dramas, its making me long for a partner and I know how hard it is to find someone at this late age... So so depressing. 

Belated "Big" review

Watched this series ages after it aired, and now it's to late to join the general hate reviews of its unsatisfactory ending.

I wasn't really interested in watching when it was on TV, but got suckered into it over iFlix. I was only curious how they switched. Hail instant gratification!

Biggest selling point: GY's beautiful, beautiful (almost) naked body. And his admirable acting skills. Seriously, I totally understand why he's a superstar. Droolworthy.

Storyline: I totally get why Gil Daran would fall for KKJ. While SYJ was aloof and never defended her, KKJ actually stood up for her and pushed her to grow.

There were hints of SYJ actually loving her. At one point, he had a "ham sap" look to show he wasn't a total mama's boy underneath his perfect gentleman exterior. But his loving was more towards protecting his weak, ditzy fiancee. Rather patronizing, actually.

I kesian the girl playing the other doctor crushing on SYJ. She always gets the jilted rich girl part.

Hated Jang Ma Ri, although her brattiness was helpful sometimes. Cannot brain why her dad would let her do whatever she pleases. Jeez.

The bratty KKJ was annoying too. And his constant swearing "Jesus!" Was so irritating.  Rasa nak sabun mulut tu. Don't say the Lord's name in vain, boleh tak?

I adore GDR's brother for being so sweet. And her parents. You don't have to be perfectly brainy and rich to be happy. Yunjae's parents were sickos in comparison.

School VP and uncle side story were a waste of time. Fellow teachers were adorable. I'll forgive their cheesiness.

Cannot brain how SYJ could get away with not doing much at the hospital. Hello, in Korea? Really? And learning to be a doctor thru books? 미쳤어??

The saddest bit was what actually happed to the real Yunjae. I think his story was swept under the carpet after KKJ took over his body and his girlfriend. Many things didn't make sense through the drama. Like, why did he have an engagement ring hidden away when they were already getting married? Shouldn't that have been used for the proposal? Don't tell me he never proposed to GDR properly. Even real doctors find time to propose lah.

I think, after watching the much more believable Han Keol, I was disappointed that they had like 2 lukewarm kisses and no serious *ahem* hot scenes. At all. Sigh. This drama is R rated, meh?

The ending- so very the meh. KKJ and SYJ are fraternal twins. They shouldn't look exactly the same. Jeez. Jual GY's body to the max. I thought they never switched back. I echo the general unhappiness that they were never "properly" switched back. Yunjae just disappeared from the storyline... in a way, he matched GDR because at some point, he seemed as undecisive as his fiancee. Geez. Grow some balls, man.

I guess that's why things got interesting when KKJ took over his brother's body. He wasn't afraid to push boundaries and get stuff done. Although I cringed at him buying a house using another man's hard earned savings. Not cool at all. His signature would be different from the real Yunjae's. The bank should have spotted it from a mile away. SOO many loopholes!

The "having an affair" with another soul in the husband's body was the funniest plot twist for me. It seemed that Yunjae did love Daran though. There should have been something more to their story. It looked like a one sided love when it could have been so much more to it.

Sigh. I really hate the ending. To think I got so addicted until I skipped work, just to get a bleh ending like this. Yeesh!

I hate Goblin. Age of Shadows tak best. Damn it, Gong Yoo. If I'm going to get addicted to you, at least give me something worth watching la.

Why do I do this??

Learning Korean has been more difficult than I thought. There are so many different endings for basic words and it's hard to keep them straight. You can't go around spewing "saranghae"... they would think this ajumma has gone crazy!

I'm thankful when I get a breakthrough though. My understanding has improved somewhat, but speaking a proper sentence is still a challenge.

I'm still unsure how I can benefit from learning it, but insya Allah something would come up. I just need to be ready when the opportunity arises.

Furthermore, the market for BM-English translators is already saturated. A 3rd language would be really useful.

I'm learning other languages on Duolingo too, but I feel it's to basic. Repeating the same words over and over ad nauseam is not going to help me learn. It's ok for a start, but each language has tonbe supplemented with other learning channels as well. I use Google Translate a lot for this.

Well, hope I can improve my language capabilities soon. Hwaiting!!

The struggle is real...

I came home at 2.30 a.m. today...

Have you ever felt that everything was working against you, and you were getting nowhere, fast?

Well, that's pretty much how I feel these days. Have been working long hours to pay my bills by the end of the week, but sometimes, you don't see much results at the end of the day!

Today I started work at 8 a.m. Delayed lunch until about 1.30 pm. Topped up petrol and tried to do something about the under inflated front tyres.  But all the pumps I went to were broken. One worked but I failed to check the specs in the car door, so missed the opportunity to inflate it to the correct pressure.

Due to this, the car didn't handle smoothly and my driving became iffy, which resulted in even lower ratings. It's at an all time low now :(

Dropped off passenger at KLIA just before 6 pm but realised later that there was a problem with payment. Trying to get it now via customer service. I'm really at her mercy now. Strangely I'm less worried about this than the car condition.

Discovered bald patches on the front tyres, so will have to change them tomorrow. It won't hurt to check the rest of the car either. I think the patching on the exhaust is coming loose. The damages are really affecting my ratings..

At 9.20 I got a job for KLIA1 to KLIA2. Cancelled that and the next job was Mitsui to KLIA. Cancelled that too and later found myself requeued. Damnit!

Do you think that's fair? I've waited 3 hours for a paying job to get out of KLIA and I get penalised for refusing to take short jobs that will result in me getting requeued  by the time I come back to LO. Manual accept - 25% commission. Any which way, driver kena.

I really wanted to leave after that. Nak tengok video pun tak selesa. Serba tak kena dalam kereta, ok. Called Shamila to whine. In the end tunggu jugak.

I ended up regretting that decision. By the time I got a fare, it was almost midnight. Maybe due to my current low rating, I waited a really long time before I got the call. Unfortunately, guy is a Singaporean going to Wangsa Maju. Missed a turn and took a long, long way through MRR2. At some point, blundered into a turnoff near Cheras and struggled to get back on track. It didn't help that the construction areas were badly lighted and my night vision seems to have become worse. At some point, we even had to go through an unlighted tunnel near Setiawangsa. It was quite an ordeal and took me over an hour to arrive at destination.

TBH, I was probably a little sleepy due to the late hour. So I had problems remembering words, recognising landmarks and identifying current locations. Everything looks so different late at night!

Managed to inflate the tyres properly at Caltex just before I got home. Lucky they had 2 air pumps because the first one had a leaky hose.

I have to do my follow up at KKM tomorrow, then sort out the car. After that I need to rest and work on the tour packages. I can't do Grab forever and the car maintenance is not cheap. God knows how I'm going to pay for new tyres... I need every cent to pay the AEON bill this week.

Have decided to increase my daily target. Achieved it today, technically. But with RM84+ not collected, I barely have anything to show for today's hard work. I need a break from driving tomorrow. Sad lah.