FRUST.TRA.TION

You know that feeling...

You have leave coming up, you're going somewhere exciting, and you want to do the responsible thing and finish work before you go gallivanting elsewhere.

Except that you can't. Or it's difficult to. Because things, like your computer, keep acting up.

I have, like 25 news items that I would like to scan and some will need to be copied to the server. Imagine my distress when my Firefox pages take forever to load, and text refuses to be copied. It's really; REALLY aggravating. To the point that I feel like smashing the damn machine with a baseball bat. Or a fireman's axe.

Yes, I know that it's not the machine's fault. Which is why it is still hale and healthy now. It could be the antivirus, it could be malware, it could even be the office people spying if I'm doing any work. Some pages have embedded stuff that riles up the AV. Bottomline - it's damn irritating.

And its hard to get work done when you're constantly battling with your emotions.

Ok. End rant. Will try to carry on and work on an offline document when the stupid Firefox jams. Ciao.

Thinking Ahead

For the longest time, I was separate from the things around me. I keep updated with peatland issues all over the region, but somehow I never felt that I was part of the solution. Maybe things can change now...

I was reading an article about illegal encroachment into forest reserves in Indonesia and I thought about how circumstances necessitate this kind of disregard for rules and laws. The truth is, change takes time.

Right now, poor local people NEED crops like palm oil that offers high yields and enough income to feed their growing children. But eventually, Indonesia needs to stop clearing more and more land, especially peatlands to survive. They need to think ahead and start preparing for a future where land is scarce, and money can be made without selling physical goods. Service and knowledge products are the commodities of many advanced economies. People make money by providing service and intelligence, creating software etc.

For this to happen, we need to focus on education and learning. Actually, Indonesians are smart. They just need to adjust their mindset a little. Stop obsessing on immediate gains and think further ahead. We will thrive, insya Allah.

*I say we because I believe we are all people of Nusantara (the Malay Archipelago) share the same roots. 

The Homecoming

I'm aware that few people write or read blogs these days. Why should we, when it's much easier to put an update on FB, or WhatsApp the relevant groups directly?

I hid this blog because I had become rather embarrassed of its whiny nature. Yet, after a rather long while, I missed being able to vent my thoughts and frustrations to whoever wants to read them. So I'm putting it back up again. I foresee that I will not be updating the blog regularly. Just every once in a while, when something significant happens... Maybe.

So... here goes nothing :) 

The Irritation Continues...

It's midday and I don't really have anything completed as yet. Urgh... Slept late doing the freaking ExSummary, so I woke up late. Actually, I was rudely awakened from my half-asleep state by the sound of a retching cat. As soon as my nose was awake, it detected the awful smell of cat shit, right in the middle of my carpet, where i normally pray. Wonderful. Lucky the retching only yielded a messy spit. Why does all my cats not know how to meow when they need to leave the room??? Leo was spokes-cat and when he disappeared, no one developed the ability to vocalise, it seems.

Wasted time cleaning up the mess with toilet paper and cleaning rag. Had to iron a tudung because i didn't have anything else presentable to wear. Showered and spent MORE time drying my wet hair so I wouldn't smell like a wet carpet later on.

Went down to the parking lot and the fucking power crazy JMB guys had put a notice on my car about parking in white boxes. Hell, if you did that when I purposely parked the car in yellow lots during the day, I wouldn't have minded as much. But I parked it there when I got home at midnight yesterday. My usual spot was full. With no street lighting, I couldn't even tell if the lines were yellow or white! And who bloody cares, really? I go to work by ten latest. Seriously takde kerja eh?

Went to the bank to sort out the online login problem. Decided to just stamp the cheque and leave it at the counter while I sorted out the other thing. Went to get some cash and my other ATM card was retained. Lucky they had it when it was my turn so settled both at the same time. Now online banking is back on track, so all I need to do is wait for the incentive payment to clear, then I can settle up the personal loan. Insya Allah, everything can be done by next week latest.

Somehow eating brunch and tapauing backup food took an inordinately long time. And once in, Serena started asking about some obscure stupid book i never came across before. Seriously, where does she find all this fucking information? And I still need to finish work before this afternoon's team meeting with FP. Ugh. I need a rich husband PDQ. Thank you.

Being Irritated

It's 2 a.m. now and I'm pretty well irritated. Someone wanted me to come up with something just before I was to leave for climbing. What did she expect me to do? Tell my friend I had to cancel and spend all night writing?

As it is, I came home a little earlier than usual, ate overpriced food at the mamak to save time and rushed the little2 things I normally need to do at home. The cats got in the way, my knees hurt and I fucking lost my bank cards. This is not normally a problem, except that I forgot the new online password i made the other day and now I'm locked out. The freaking bank book is also together with the bank card. Well done. Now your money is "safe" coz you can't get it out until you sort out this bloody mess. And I was planning to clear my personal loan tomorrow. At least I have a few more days to get THAT sorted out!

Ugh. This is SO annoying. I have been trying to work more efficiently, but one after another stupid request keep cropping up, which necessitated time consuming scans through the thousands of photos we had of our activities. So now I'm backlogged again, unless I work through the weekends and way into the night.

It didn't help that I was unwell and so bloody exhausted the first few days of the week. It was due to rhinitis and it has something to do with my cats, but I can't simply ditch them out of the house. It may be a "practical" solution to some, but it's a bloody cop out for me.

Dammit, I can't even vent out now for fear that it will come back to me, but in a nutshell, I'm really not happy with my housemate. I still need a fucking shower before I can go to bed. Have been waiting to cool down and dry the sweat, but it's so hot and humid I'm getting nowhere with that. I'm turning on the AC and hope that helps.