Hikayat Ikan Paus Biru

Feng Shui

2012-01-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

Sempena Raya Cina ni... masuk pulak cerita feng shui, kan? Actually been feeling a little slow lately, and my bad habit of sleeping late isn't helping. Went back to Pump, but I may have overexerted myself a little... Still, I need to work on my horribly flabby body. Didn't notice it until I started shopping for clothes, la kan?

Anyway, when I reinstated the bed, I put the headboard against the outside wall because it seemed the most practical option. Unfortunately, I have been feeling unrested despite hours of sleep. So today I moved it against the inner wall, as it was before, when I was sleeping Japanese style. Took an afternoon nap and now I feel so much better... Wonder if there's any science in this feng shui thing because I did read somewhere about windows at yr head being bad for the personal chi. Or maybe it's just the flow is better when the window is on my side instead of at my head. Anyway, I think I'll keep this orientation since it's working well.

Moved the lights and now I have the standing light by the door, which is good. Senang nak pasang and matikan before tidur and going out. Discovered that with some juggling, I can create a pretty nice big space for solat. As long as I have that, I'm happy. Hope I don't become stupefied again... I'm enjoying some normalcy for once in my life!! Ya Allah, please protect me from stupidity and dishonor!

Silly Things That Drive Me Nuts

2012-01-18T12:14:00.000+08:00

I hate being stumped. Dead ended. Blocked. Stuck.

One such an example: a jar of strawberry jam in the office pantry. I wasn't planning to eat it right away; I had had breakfast. I had no bread anyway. But one day I tried opening it and failed. So it became a problem and my obsession. For more than a week I have tried various things to open the stubborn jar, but the lid refused to budge.

I had submerged it in hot water, in the hopes of expanding the lid so that it would come off. I tried twisting it with rubber bands for extra grip (usually works). Did it until my hand hurt (RSI) and still the lid wouldn't budge. This morning I even borrowed a lighter and heated the lid; to no avail. I almost smashed the lid against the wall so that it would open - I was THAT frustrated.

Until the simplest solution presented itself - I took a knife and jimmied the lid. With a woosh, air was sucked into the jar, releasing the vacuum stranglehold on the lid. It opened at the slightest twist. Yeay!

Problem solved. The world is green again.... Such is my life.... I need a husband :P

Addicted much?

2012-01-01T12:02:00.001+08:00

In a strange turn of events, I actually watched an awards show spoken in a tongue I do not speak. All I understand are 'Sarang he" and "Gamsahabnida", homonim, abudje and Ojakgyo. But it was enough because my sister & I combined recognised a number of the stars, and the names of the dramas. The rest, such as the actual categories, we simply made up.

Example: Oh, this must be the best evil warlord category. Or the makcik2 category. Or bitchiest woman.

Despite the noise from my apartment courtyard where some event or other was taking place, I understood enough to enjoy the event. Joo Won cried a little when he made his acceptance speech. I have no idea why... I was chuffed to see Ojakgyo Brothers win quite a number of awards. I'm not sure what they were for, but as long as they win, I'm happy.

The Ojakgyo wins were:
Joo Won for one of the best dudes/ cutest guy? Hell, what do I know. There were 3 winners. Wish someone could explain it to me.

Uwee for (I assume) best female actress (there were 2 winners)

Mama Hwang for (we assume) best leading actress, senior category. Man, she's so pretty despite her age!

Guy who plays Hwang Tae Sik - donno why - guy who cries the most or more realistically?

Ryu Soo Young and Choi Jung Yoon - cutest couple? I love these guys...

Boy who plays Gun Suk - best child actor (male)

One lady won lots of bouquets - she could be the producer, director or scriptwriter. I have no clue.

Strange. I won't even watch the Malaysian awards show, but I sit down for this? Pakai ilmu apa org Korea ni ek??

New Year Resolutions

2011-12-30T18:25:00.000+08:00

I don't usually have new year resolutions, but I guess I could do a few for the coming year.

First, I'd like to pay off my current credit card bill. I mean REALLY pay it off. Like no more outstanding balance after I pay the month's bill. It will take some sacrifices, like downgrading my gym membership, but insya-Allah, it can be done. I'm so tired of paying interest every month!

Next, perhaps just a few more kilos off my frame and a stronger core so I'm not so blubbery. Will be prudent with food and do some workouts at home in addition to the gym.

I will try to be more focused at work and come home right after maghrib (because that's the most practical time, really). The jam would have cleared and it's not too late for a light dinner somewhere or at home. Work will also merge strongly into my life, because I will need a well controlled life-work balance if I'm going to get married. I want to save money AND make time for my husband and eventually, a family. Yes, I know it's late in the day, but I believe some changes need to be made. I've been drifting aimlessly for years, hoping for the seemingly impossible and losing myself in the process. I will have to think carefully who I spend time with, and who I will choose, because each choice has its own pros and cons. If I aim to get closer to the young one, I will have to consider his mom and family. Technically there is nothing wrong with us coming together, but culture and a lot of other factors will undoubtedly come in the way. If he chooses someone else, I will also have to accept that and understand the reason why. In any case, I hope there WILL be someone suitable who will love and accept me.

I did tell Graham that I'd like to visit him in London next year, so I hope I'll be able to save up enough money to do that.

That's it really. Have a good job and be happy with my life - hopefully with a husband in the picture. Seriously, I'm no angel. Good girls need sex too.

Sayang Menyayang

2011-12-27T00:32:00.001+08:00

Believe it or not, any mention of the once popular '80s film featuring my name, starring Ogy Ahmad Daud and Jamal Abdillah really, really make me cringe. Yes, it was a hit. Have you noticed how BAD our 80s movies were??? Come on la, 27 years have passed. Tukar lawak lain boleh tak? Yeesh...

The script itself makes me geli geleman and wish they had used another name. The kicker is when random strangers start yelling "Azura...." or start singing the "Azura" song. (Facepalm).

However... Guess it's a little different when 2 entertaining boyz start singing another, less obvious song from the movie. They were just belting it out in the car, and this was on top of a morning listening to them bickering and singing all kinds of nonsensical tunes. It was actually pretty fun...

The song is actually titled Sandarkan Pada Kenangan, but the chorus goes 'Sayang Menyayang' (cue guitar twang ~tenenene...) I kinda forgot about this song, but it is rather cute...

Warning: DO NOT search for the YouTube of this song. The opening script in the Naspazi version makes me want to puke. Did I REALLY enjoy the story way back then?? Sigh, what did I know, I was only 11.

Here's an excerpt from the chorus. And to my two entertainers, thanks for a fun morning... You boys rock :D

Sayang menyayang
Cinta dikenang
Perasaan menjadi rindu

Oh...
Lihatlah diriku yang kehilangan
Tanpa kasih mu sayang
Siapalah aku

Sayang menyayang
Saling percaya
Punca kasih berpanjangan

Overwhelmed

2011-12-15T21:26:00.000+08:00

Am feeling a little overwhelmed right now... Have been distracted and unwell and anxious...

Some guy I used to talk to earlier this year suddenly reappeared out of the blue... It's not a good time because I'm still weaning myself away from the young one. In my head, I know that there will never be a relationship, but the feelings run too deep. It's taking a lot of time to erase him from my heart. I'm not quite ready to let go, even though I know I must.

The other guy is also slightly younger, but at least he's open to the age gap. I don't really have anything against him, except that I'm not quite ready to move on just yet. Also, because HE was ignoring me at the time, so I just deleted him from my phone. It's really easy when you don't really know someone. Lying's too easy as well. No wonder the brat does it all the time :P

What's eating me at the moment is that I'm lagging at work again. Somehow it's so difficult to control my impulses and put in an honest day's work. I'd do all kinds of side nonsense in between work and in the end all I have is a bunch of half baked shit to show at the end of a long day. It's a big issue.

I used to think that I'd just kill myself if I failed again, but I know that cannot happen... In a strange way, having someone actually chasing after me has kind of re-energised my dying spirit. The problem is, I'm not in the mood to layan him, well, not so much anyway. I layan him in small doses, that's all I can handle right now.

I know I can't keep him hanging, he'll soon tire of being ignored. But I'm not that excited about him, that's all. He lurks on my FB, looking at pictures without adding me on. Somehow my settings have become public, which is NOT a good idea... And I'm not sure if my changes took effect or not. He talks about me coming over to see him, which is against my rules. Guys should make the effort to come see me. Unless I really happen to be in your neighbourhood, I'm not incurring extra costs to go find you. There are so many things that I expect to be different, but I can't really tell him about it...

Maybe I've been spoilt by my non-Malay friends all these years. Pakcik always treated me well, he always asked me out in advance, never forced me to do anything I didn't want to... Whiny and ngengada Malay boys always annoy me! Menci... camana nak kawin camni?? Yang aku suka.... hrmph. Back to square one. Kalau nak magick myself to be 10 years younger boleh tak? :P

7 things I love about you...

2011-12-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

1. I love the shape of your hands. Those big, capable hands... Well, OK. I've always had a thing about hands :-)
2. I like to watch you pray.
3. I like it when you take the trouble to stop somewhere to pray. When we go for prayers together, I feel a little less apart.
4. I like yr height. And size. And the fact people actually mistake you for my other half...
5. Who'd think, a simple Bismillah and doa before you drive could be such a turn on? I love it when you do that. It makes me feel safe.
6. You're smart. I like that. I'm sorry I'm not so smart, I know you like clever girls...
7. I like your naughty boy smirk. You can be such an adorable jerk sometimes.

Why seven? It's all I could think of at short notice. You're not perfect, neither am I. In this world, I can't match you. Maybe tomorrow I'll meet someone new, someone who will love me as I am. But the things that are good in you will not change, no matter who we end up with tomorrow :-)

Time out

2011-12-01T11:23:00.000+08:00

Wish I could take a couple of days off, just to recharge again. Won't go anywhere this time, just stay home and catch up with stuff. The past few days have been running around fixing things and spending a lot of money - something that makes me very uneasy. Been having trouble concentrating on work. I think I need someone to bounce ideas off, a partner. Somehow that seems impossible to get. I wish I could get past this :(

Happy New Year!

2011-11-29T12:30:00.000+08:00

Or Selamat Menyambut Maal Hijrah... I spent mine asleep in a dorm in Merapoh, tired after the long journey from KL, working life in general, and the quick survey drive we had that afternoon. Spent the long weekend on a CAT trip, even though I only went for one walk that Sunday morning. We found a freshly abandoned camp, some illegal timber and not much else. The animal tracks that used to be in abundance have all disappeared.

That evening, everyone else went to Bumbun Rimau. After that miserable night with Graham in May, I opted out and took a nice, comfy room instead. Made dinner with my trusty burner and mess tin, then had a short chat with Jim, who was there with Keong and Jeff, canoeing, then pottered with paints and went to bed. That was SO restful!

Woke up in the morning to a beautiful view, then joined the boys for breakfast outside. Sent them off on their canoe and kayaks, napped and simply enjoyed the peace and quiet. Left for KL after lunch. Pretty uneventful, a little jammed, but it was OK. Have come to a truce with the young one... He's nice to me as long as I don't ask for more than he's willing to give.. Fair enough I suppose. Too lazy to go find a new man, think I'll focus on work and let the guys find me instead. Why not, right?

It's a new year, and I pray that it will be a good one. Amin!!

My Mummy's Boys

2011-11-24T15:07:00.000+08:00

I have always had the tendency to fall for mummy's boys.... Or maybe ALL boys are mummy's boys :D Not all of them are bad, some of them do manage to think for themselves when it matters. After all, not everyone is as bullheaded as I am, right?

Right now am super addicted to the Ojakgyo brothers, no thanks to K Ayu's introduction to Korean dramas! Managed to stay clear of Winter Sonata, sangkut yang ini pulak.. hehehe.. The reason - maybe because it's so realistic kot... Everyone has their good and bad sides, except maybe for Cha Soo Young's mom who is so damned bongkak and pretentious. Not to mention the super cute boys... The eldest tak berapa best pasal his character terlampau lurus, and the youngest is too opportunistic (right now la). Their characters change over time, and since watching from the beginning baru I paham Ja Eun's character and what she went through. The mom pun ada dark side jugak, and the dad is well-meaning guy who sometimes kena tipu, so a little bit of a loser at times. Kesian tengok Mi Sook yang suka kat Tae Sik tapi rebuffed; although now we know why she's so 'odd' la...

I love the interaction between the characters. It's kelakar when the makcik2 semua bergasak, menyampah when the bitchy girls cat-fight, and I LLOOOOVVVEE watching the boys bergasak among themselves due to whatever issue they had at the time :D Dalam ramai2 tu I think Tae Bum's the sexiest, no doubt he's some superstar out in Korea (obviously I don't know anything about local superstars, apa lagi yang kat Korea).

But overall, the whole drama encompasses family, love, relationships, marriage, conflict, semua ada. It's amazing how similar their values are to our own, and amazing that families actually arrange 'blind dates' instead of simply (and annoyingly) asking "takde calon ker?". Actually, if we look at it, the whole of Asia have remarkably similar values of close family ties and 'responsible' relationships. It makes me proud to be Asian :-)

While the Western open mindedness have been much admired and emulated, there is a distinct tinge of selfishness when it comes to relationships. It says, this is MY life, and no one has a right to force me to do anything differently. Having one's own mind is fine, but it's not so nice when we shut out family and push others away because of our 'individuality'. I don't know. We come from different mindsets, I guess...

Whatever it is, am glad yesterday's interview went smoothly and I can focus on building my career and putting my life back on track. That trip to Taman Negara this weekend would be a nice change after spending so many weekends at home. I do miss the clean forest air and scent of damp earth :-)

The Real Me

2011-11-22T16:39:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel like taking my tudung off. Why? Because somewhere deep down inside, I'm that wild child who yearns to frolic by the river, sleep under the stars and do whatever she likes in the depths of the loving arms of the rainforest where she resides. Temporarily, of course. The other half of me has become old-woman, urbanite who enjoys her cafe latte and dinners at Tony Roma's. Heh. Sad.

Somehow I feel more alive dressed in fitting tees, shirts and jeans/khakis. I like my baju kurungs and stuff, but rugged togs - I LOVE them. I love wearing grungy old clothes and just hang around some river doing nothing. Maybe read, or nap, at the most. Ah... but Uncle Razali's place in Rantau Abang has been sold off, and it's just too lonely to go lepak in Fraser's by myself. Especially since I lost my bins. What would I do there?? Haven't bought my DSLR yet, have I? .

Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis. Maybe this loneliness is getting to me. I miss my old man, maybe my buddies are getting to be a little high-end, maybe I just need a change... Or some time alone to recharge instead of worrying about work all the time. A partner in crime would be even better, but Uncle Bean has gone home and so far has not replied my email for the past week. It was fun hanging out w Uncle Bean in RA and Merapoh last time, despite the speeding ticket and (I suspect) scandal that rocked the Taman Negara. Relax la, we shared a room, nothing more!! Tak baik tau, tuduh2..

It's a bit stupid right now, wanting to go for a CAT trip, but knowing a particular person would prefer not to see my ugly old face instead of the sweet young things. I actually miss my picnic rock and swimming hole. On the other hand, it's the rainy season, and it might well flood the whole area, so any trekking would probably be torture. Give this old woman a break lah! Hmm... Still thinking of a place where I can go and relax for a couple of days...

Just a breezy Saturday morning...

2011-10-22T11:17:00.000+08:00

Late morning and I've not showered yet... Slept at about 2 a.m. last night but managed to mix some dough to bake. Woke up in the morning and bake it - voila! Fresh bread. Unfortunately discovered mold in pack of grated cheddar. Um... hello, I bought cheddar, not blue cheese!! Sigh.

Was inspired to dismantle bed and lay down the nice Persian carpet in my room. So now I have more space to work, watch videos and pray. I won't have to work in the hall distracted by the TV, nor put up with the creaky bed anymore. The mattress is put up, I'll have to pull it down when I want to sleep. Seriously, I don't really know how this arrangement is going to work out, but well, I can give it a week or so. If I don't like it, it's easy enough to reassemble the bed. With the store room filled with my landlord's stuff, I'll just have to be creative with the space we've got. Why else would he give us such a cheap rent, right?

I AM feeling a little tired lately, but it's the nice kind that comes with physical exercise. Been busy with PMM5 preparations, but things have been progressing well, more or less. Have accidentally pissed off Ms Tram about the banner, but we have our design guidelines too! Sigh. See how we can work it out la... Still have a shitload of other things to take care of next week, but the meeting plans are more or less under control, thank God. Am hoping everything goes smoothly in HCMC, I do like this job, you know...

Exhaustion

2011-10-07T06:52:00.000+08:00

It sucks being diabetic because it definitely drains your energy level. When I used to get out of bed by 8 a.m. and do all kind of things, now I just work on 1 or 2, or nothing at all. Right now I'm feeling downright sapped after the Riau stint. Am crawling to finish work and there's another damned meeting coming up today. Had a touch of mild food poisoning yesterday, so am further weakened. Been staying up late trying to catch up and it's screwing my insulin levels/insulin resistance. At least I feel less screwed after drinking air Yasin, am sure stepmom is doing *something*, but not sure what. It makes me feel disconnected and dispassionate and downright suicidal. Am seriously considering the doctor's and MC today... Haven't even bought my glucometer strips and haven't been to the gym in ages. My membership fee is just a waste unless I use the facilities :( Feel SOOOO tired. 8'(

Tucin

2011-09-07T17:46:00.000+08:00

Since the Petknode debacle broke out, I had a hard time staying away from related posts. So kesian the cats and owners, nasib baik ramai fosterers yg tolong jaga the cats sampai the owners jumpa. I can't help much pasal 1) my 3 brats would definitely protest and 2) Money is depleted due to Raya expenses + road tax etc.

Some people yg tak berperasaan fikir they're only cats, but we know better, don't we? My 3 brats are like children, nasib baik I bawak diorang balik kg hari tu. Itu pun kesian jugak esp for Trina yg for some reason fobia nak tinggalkan rumah. I know she would wail non-stop if I tried to board her anywhere, ditto for Leo. Kesian Leo masa pergi nampak stress sangat dalam kereta. Michelle jugak yg steady.

Dah sampai kampung, Leo actually 'adopted' Mak Ngah's house and chased away another 'trespassing' male... 5 pagi kena pergi cari dia kat semak n bawak balik, okay... Michelle ok jer, Trina menyorok bawah/dalam almari for the whole 3 days. At one point she came out to eat, but Mak Ngah yg dah kurang ingat sikit mistook her for the stray cat that was supposed to stay outdoors and shooed her. Langsung dia tak keluar lagi dah lepas tu!!

I guess they knew we were going home on Thursday because all of them were really quiet on the drive home. All of them looked so happy to be back afterwards, just like us who sometimes 'tak kerasan' duduk rumah org lain :-)

Anyway, I hope those 2 bastards get properly screwed for their actions, and that all the missing cats are reunited with their owners. We have to ensure everyone knows such behaviour is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Ahlan Wasahlan ya Ramadhan!!

2011-08-01T11:40:00.000+08:00

First day puasa hari ni. Alhamdulillah, sempat jugak ganti puasa tahun lepas + yang tertunggak (pasal tetiba period tak sempat cover). 10 hari beb! Tergezut jugak tengok kalendar tu. Almaklumlah, kalau tak bulan puasa memang tersangatlah liatnya nak sacrifice makan minum kan. Bangga jugak la kan. Hehheheh.

Last weekend, seperti biasa I bawak balik kerja dengan semangat berkobar2 nak menyetelkan 1-2 perkara over the weekend. And as usual - tak usik pun kerja. Nak reorganise my filing pun tak jadi. Sigh... Sabar ajelah.

But at least it's not because I malas maksimum, cuma masa banyak spent beli barang and repair merepair. Sabtu pagi, kumpul kat rumah Abang for breakfast, pastu gi kubur arwah Mak. Kemas2 sikit, baca Yasin, baru balik. Tunggu2 cleaners dah sudah baru dryer repairman datang. Petang/malam pi beli groceries pulak. Dah satu hari gone (not to mention lots and lots of $$).

Sunday, plumber pulak datang. Pagi bangun lambat, so time wasted lah. Petang lepak kejap, then pegi beli lock bilik air, merayap ke Tesco/Curve utk makan, tukar duit & beli hadiah Inas. Rupiah dah habis. Tak jumpa the food I needed, so OTW balik singgah Jaya Grocer pulak. By the time sampai rumah dah malam. Makan sushi kejap, semayang + terawih, tidur. Habis 2nd day.

So today back to work oredy... Cepatnya masa berlalu, kan? Motor tak repair lagi tu. Kalau hari2 kena drive meredah jam mau pengsan ni.

Mechanical Malfunctions

2011-07-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

Most of the time, my home appliances and vehicles work without any problems. Unfortunately, they lately seemed to have entered a pact to multifariously malfunction at the same time.

Last month, the TV blew. I bought a 2nd hand set before realising that the old one might be fixable. But the new TV was cheap and a welcome upgrade anyway. Fixed the old one and sold it off for RM200 - just enough to cover the cost of repairing and value of the set. OK la. So pleased with my 'new' TV :D

2 weeks back, the motorcycle back tyre went flat. I parked it and haven't had the chance to deal with it yet. Plus, spent too much money earlier, so now not much left for repairing non-urgent stuff. Thank God the car is fine. Except that the bumper is hanging off quite disgustingly, no thanks to my carelessness while parking. Will have to deal with that soon.

The other day, the bathroom lock decided it wasn't going to budge. The knobs turned, but the spring lock thingy didn't, effectively trapping me inside. Luckily it was at night, so K Ayu was at home. She handed me a wire hanger, and with skills learnt a long time ago, I managed to ease the lock open. It still stuck though. Yesterday I took out the offending part and found that the thing was rusted inside. No wonder la jam. Sigh. Why la use inferior locks? Rumah aku dulu bertahun-tahun tak pernah jam.

The bathroom sink also another issue. Last year it was kind of loose, now it seemed to get worse. Soon the whole thing would come tumbling down! Asked the landlord to fix it and he asked me to get someone to do it and deduct the cost from my rent. Okay... Been trying to contact an odd jobber without much luck. Next week la I try another contact. Penat oredy.

Last week, the dryer was making funny noises (like thunk thunk thunk...) while I was drying my clothes. When it was K Ayu's turn, it stopped making noise and stopped rotating altogether.. Oh great! Now, this might not be a big problem to other people, but since the last 15 years, we have relied on this wonderful invention to dry our clothes in 1 hour flat; saving us the worry of rainy days and lack of space. And space is a major issue in the tiny apartment where we live. Thankfully, neighbour gracefully allowed us to borrow her washing lines today. In addition, there are clothes hanging in the laundry area, blocking the way into the loo, and some clothes have been moved from my clothes rack to make way for my undies. There's another batch that needs to be done, but it'd have to wait until some space frees up.

Knowing how expensive Lux repairs can be, I borrowed a set of spanners from Abang and actually opened up the dryer yesterday. With almost zero knowledge of mechanics, I had the impression there was some kind of weight that helps the drum move had fallen off. It turned out that the belt had broken. Well, after 15 years, I guess it had a right to die. So... can't fix it myself, won't have time to go buy the parts, so called the repair man and arranged for him to come fix this one sometime next week.

Also yesterday, saw the light hanging low and gatal went and pulled on it, imagining some kind of spring mechanism would pull it back up. The one in the old house had that system. But the one HERE didn't. So with a loud pop and some sparks, the whole fixture came off in my hand! Oopsie... Didn't succeed in fixing it yesterday, but thanks to divine inspiration today, and help from sister who held the heavy bits while the system was tested and the screws went in, the lights are on again. Unfortunately I broke the fluorescent circle, so we'll just have to make do with the small tungsten bulb for the time being. At least I won't have to pay for an electrician and a whole new fixture!

Stupid bed creaks and the frame of my favourite spectacles is broken... am waiting for inspiration so that I can get them fixed. I'm sure SOMETHING can be done, but for the time being, KIV aje lah...

Oh, Abah's phone died too. Seriously! Sometimes I think he purposely destroys his phones, or evil stepmother did... Considering getting him a new one with camera, since I can't afford to buy him another cam. Feel a bit sorry giving him hand me downs, the camera I gave him is seriously stupid and should only be used by little children. Can't give him my Cybershot until I upgrade, and even then feel a bit sayang to give it away; it's lovely and a useful cam to carry around for general snaps. Bloody hate the phone camera - terrible picture quality. Don't understand why he can't buy himself another phone, though. And Nokias are usually quite resilient. Dry it for a couple of days and they'll be good as new. Sigh. Maybe I'll give him a nice lecture when I hand him the new one. Wait, who's the parent here? Bleh.

Anyway, I'm thankful that today's a balmy Sunday, the house is clean, and there is food in the fridge. Most of the chores are done, and half the repairs are dealt with. Will deal with the rest next week. Now I just want to take a shower and do some work so that tomorrow I can go home at a reasonable time. Bye!!

Para paranormal?

2011-07-18T11:27:00.000+08:00

I don't know if I'm just plain confused or what, but some funny things have been happening lately.

On the flight back from Jakarta, while queuing to get to my seat, a little baby tugged the hem of my t-shirt and seemed to SPEAK to me in Indonesian. I didn't quite make out what she said, but I felt it was strange that she spoke like a grown up, not baby talk as I would expect. I'm still wondering if I wasn't imagining things.

Just last night, I was feeding a stray cat near the apartment. I had left my door open while I moved the food bowl from outside my apartment door to further down the hall. The kitten was afraid of coming too near my place as my 'vicious' cats had attacked her just that morning. As I watched her eat, an unfamiliar Indonesian couple passed by. Then I thought I saw them entering my apartment. Puzzled, I went over, but they weren't there. My next door neighbour are Indians and I didn't quite see the other door opening....

But then, I think the neighbour's grille slides instead of opening out, so MAYBE they went in there instead. I did hear sounds of doors opening & closing. And MAYBE the Indian neighbours have moved out, because they used to burn incense and stuff outside their door and I didn't notice those any more (I'm not too keen on heavy scents). Plus, there was one incident when white chalk was smeared outside their door, it was kind of scary. Maybe they moved after that, although I did come across an Indian guy going into that unit recently... So I am a feeling a little off track with all these things. Granted, I'm not always aware of neighbours changing, it happens quite a lot, apparently. It's just that we don't really meet. Oh well, hope the Indonesians are next door and not figments of my imagination... Touch wood!!

Signs of... insanity??

2011-06-06T01:41:00.000+08:00

I don't know... I have been actually looking at weddingy stuff and thinking about having proper bertunang and stuff... Yesterday I was looking through Secret Recipe's catalogue and I actually considered some of the designs for a hantaran, if I ever go through the bertunang phase and whatnot. Strange since I don't even have a significant other to hang out with, much less marry... Pakcik is never going to get past his late wife, and I am not yet over my imaginary 'other half'. But you know.. the guy is such a traditionalist, I can't imagine HIM going for an impromptu nikah session at the pejabat kadi. Ha ha.. That's what I used to dream of - a simple nikah session, no frills, no fancy, expensive wedding do. But I guess, to a certain extent it IS necessary to announce your nuptials to the public. He HAS got his mom to consider. My dad - he wouldn't care if I ran off with some guy from another country. Just one less daughter to feel guilty about. She's an adult, she can take care of herself. Yeah, dad. I sure can. Why think about me at all, right?

Or maybe I just watched too much of Chef Wan's daughter's expensive nuptials. Ye lah, bapak lu kaya boleh la...

In any case, going cold turkey's no fun, but it just has to be done. It takes two to tango, and if I keep on trying to dance alone, I'd go stark raving mad. The other guys are just... guys. I don't even know why I'm so mad about someone so... unlikely. But I love him. Because he's a good man, and he prays, and he fasts, and he observes the limits... Because he loves babies, and because people think he's my hubby... So funny, they don't even ask if he's my bf, they go straight for gold. Ha ha.. Because I still think he's my other half.. He's obviously not interested, because if he was, he would have called, or SMSed, or Skyped, or said hi, or come over. I know I'm too old for him, because all the fucking stupid Malay boys all think they have to marry bloody young girls to be happy. Which brings me to the other thing that gets my goat.

Since I was 27, all the men I talked to, asked the same stupid question - kenapa tak kawin lagi. Isn't that a stupid question? They all thought I was too old. Well guess what, I'm getting older and older and they're still asking the same stupid old question. Why don't they ask me about my life, my work, my self? Why can't they just ask me for a respectable night out? Why can't they accept me as I am? Why can't they be like Pakcik and entertain me and spoil me a little without expecting anything in return? We had a great time hanging out in Taman Negara. We had fun hanging out in many places. If only I felt SOMETHING for him, it could be a lot more serious. But I don't, so we are just friends, no benefits, mind you, and he makes me happy... I'm a simple girl. So why can't any of them be a friend, and take it from there? Seriously, I'd be happy to have more friends. I'd love to fall in love with a friend. Because to me, that is what love is. It's two people who love, trust and respect each other, taking care of each other, making each other a better person. It's not just about building a family together, it's about building a better life together.

Anyway, I'm blabbering. I'm so freaking frustrated. I keep falling for men who reject me, and the guys who are kind of keen just don't fit. Nothing ever works out. All I ever wanted was someone who would love me as I am. Why does it have to be so hard to find him?

The "J" Word...

2011-06-05T12:48:00.000+08:00

Todays' Metro story - kids who learnt abt sex via porn videos and ended up pregnant were clueless abt contraception. Yet goody2 parents don't want sex ed in classrooms... Aiyoo.. might as well give them a head's up la in these day and age when sex & porn is shamelessly touted in the streets. Dulu2 ya la, susah nak cari x-rated vids. Sekarang ni, download aje kat internet. Kedai video haram pun berlambak2. Porno katun pun ada. (Flashback: At a video store: What is that Disney princess doing? OWH! OK. Wrong album :P) And with the prolification of American teenage stories, budak2 think nothing of 'experimenting' wherever they can find a bit of privacy. I know zaman dulu pun ada jugak, tapi takda la rampant macam sekarang...

And to think there are a bunch of us old maids who can't get a partner because we're somewhere in between goody2 and modern and can't find the sweet spot... Sigh.

Sad, kan? I'm still pining for someone I can't have because so far he's the only one who seemed to fulfill all my requirements. It's so not my fault he was born late!! Been talking to others, but no one seems to fit the niche. Uncle Bean is nice and everything, but he's not the one. I so wish I could find someone who loves me as much as I love him... Why is it so hard? It's not fair!

Desperate Measures

2011-05-19T14:33:00.000+08:00

Last year, I initiated a life-changing habit - going to the gym. a.k.a. moving from 0 exercise to at least an hour of light to moderate exercise weekly. So far, I've managed to lose 5% body fat (more or less) and 0 kgs. Well, I think I did lose up to 4 kg and gained it all back when I pontenged for more than 3 weeks. Even worse when I'm depressed because then I'd eat more and exercise less.

So now that habit has been more or less ingrained, but I have failed to achieve the desired results, it's time to up the ante and push harder. I have just decided to cut out white rice from my diet. I'm not worried about being carb deprived. I'd still get some from my drinks and other foods. Going easy on the starches is an obvious way to cut out empty calories and get my blood sugar under control; because loath as I am to admit it, my sugar control has been pretty lousy.

The other thing I've done is to book a cleaner for the house. Since I'm forever distracted and/or busy, the only way to get the house clean is to hire some help. K Ayu does help keep the bathroom under control, but face it, it's just not enough. By the time I come home, I'm tired. The most I can do is cook, eat and wash the dishes. Some assistance would help keep the house presentable if by some miracle I have a boyfriend and his mother decides to come and inspect his lady love's abode. In any case, a clean apartment would benefit everyone. If I can afford some help, why not?

So, pretending that I have nuptials on the horizon, my life is about to be upgraded. Seriously, I hope it works.

Family Ties...

2011-05-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

You know, sometimes my family can be the most obtuse people on the freaking planet. As usual I told Abang of my nice new job, totally omitting the fact that I had lost my job the month before. I never told anyone except my sister about that. She lives with me, and she never knew or asked until I told her - AFTER I got the new job. No one knew of the misery I went through in those 2 months... No one even noticed how fucking miserable I had been. Only my friends noticed that something was amiss.

Then he advised me to give money to Abah whenever I saw him. Well, first of all, I'm a little short of cash right now. Have paid up front for people and haven't got paid back because *someone* thought I'm rich now that I've got a decent new job. Excuse me! I'm trying to pay off a bunch of debt and saving a little money so that we can afford to buy a decent place next year... A car upgrade wouldn't hurt either.

Anyway, how would I know WHEN I'd see Abah? I normally pay people at the beginning of the month and carry around minimal pocket money the rest of the time. I've been banking in money to his account and he either never notices it or never bothers to say thank you. Nice, dad. Didn't your mom teach you any manners?? Such a small thing and I'm still feeling hurt. Guess the worst part is no one in the family ever cared about your feelings. Guess why I started the act of being A-OK even when I'm not...

Sigh. C'est la vie... Thank God for my friends!!

The Katana (A Haiku)

2011-04-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

A samurai sword
Glinting sharp edges of steel
Swoosh! Off with her head.

Cast Away

2011-04-13T12:37:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how much I miss my people... I dream of them all the time! Discussions, chatting, talking, sharing... I miss bantering with Mz Hoity Toity, I miss looking at my other half, I even miss rushing to work and stressing over deadlines!!

I do have other work to do, plus a shitload of household chores to take care of... Slept super late last night just dusting and reorganising my *stuff*. Well, at least the room is clean now. Gave TV cabinet a cursory swipe with the 'wand' this morning, still have to reorganise the other cabinet as well as nail down my assignments. Got CVs to prepare and am too sick/lazy to deal with them... Sigh. At least my voice is coming back already. Padan muka aku, gatal hisap rokok lagi...

It's All in The Head

2011-03-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

As often as I admire people who could write complicated reports on the fly, or do wonderfully creative things, yesterday I realised that all that came from hours and hours of practice and observation. I had been playing with databases for ages, so for me it was all second nature. Trying to teach it to others, I could see how complicated it all seemed. Assuming it was all the same, then I probably could learn to write faster if I was more rajin about putting my thoughts on electronic paper. Same would go to my technical writing and thinking - it would probably get easier if I had more practice. The question is, where and how do I get the practice that I need??

Why, people, why??

2011-02-21T23:29:00.000+08:00

It boggles my mind that perfectly wonderful single men bemoan the fact that they haven't found a mate when they habitually find fault with the gazillions of females flitting around them. Excuse me, all you have to do is open your mouth and ask someone out on a date. You don't have to nikah with every single female you go out with, you know.

I so don't understand why some people think that dates are risque. What the heck do you do on your dates, people? Seriously, dates can be light and fun, no haram activities involved. I, for one, don't mind a casual date every now and then...

Well, okay. Fine, I'll admit it. There's this new Moroccan place I want to check out, and I want to go out with a guy for a change. Any takers? :P

Different Strokes for Different Folks

2011-02-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, jokes hurt. A friend recently joked about lezzers and accused me of being one too. I ignored it, but inside it hurt. Just because I don't take liberties with my male companions doesn't mean I don't like men. I do! But being a practicing Muslim come with certain codes of conduct governing the relationship between men and women. Halal and haram does not apply only to food... So I refrain from physical contact no matter how much I want to.

The same friend also made fun of another guy friend due to the same thing - that he behaved 'differently'. Yet I know that he is just being a well-mannered, God-fearing Muslim man. I'm sure he's not gay, and I'm sure he would behave like any other red-blooded male with his future wife. Just because we observe the rules don't make us strange. We simply operate with a different set of rules. I feel some of your 'rules' nonsensical, so why impose your values on us? It's ridiculous!

I find it so disturbing because I know that I'm not a goody2. I bend the rules on a regular basis, yet in this matter, the boundaries have been so ingrained that it's impossible to cross the line despite numerous opportunities to do so. If ever I could have justified so much as kissing a man I wanted, I would have done so. But I CAN'T. At the end of the day, it's between me and God, and that relationship is too important to severe.

It hurts enough that I can't find a man who loves me, not being able to gain any emotional security. To be accused of preferring girls is way too much. I know I'm hopeless when it comes to guys, but please, don't accuse me of being what I'm not. Not if you want to call yourself a friend.

There's Always a First Time...

2011-02-16T17:16:00.000+08:00

After driving for years without ever experiencing a major car breakdown; I broke that record last Monday. Was driving home from Sg Yu with JC and Darren in the afternoon after a CAT trip. It was a hot day. After a while, I noticed that the aircon wasn't cool anymore. Thinking it was the weather, I also started to wilt. Looked for a place to stop but that proved hard to find. Eventually swung into an Esso somewhere after Lipis town, just before Benta. Took a break and thinking we were low on aircon gas, we decided to go look for an aircon place. Went into Benta and after a few wrong turns, found an aircon shop in the middle of town.

After checking, the guy discovered it wasn't the aircon after all, the engine had overheated because the radiator was blocked!! Nasib baik tak terbakar! Had to wait hours while he serviced the radiator and changed a few parts. The price: RM220, part of which was covered by the guys' contribution to the petrol cost.

The best part was, I had just spent a small fortune changing the belts, engine mountings and fixing the leaky exhaust.The last was just that morning; I actually drove all the way up to Gua Musang just to fix the leaky exhaust, thinking that 1) it might save me on petrol and 2) I could help support the local economy. Paid cash some more, thinking I was going to be OK for the rest of the month.

In the end, the total bill came to a cool RM1129. Ouch!! On the other hand, I'm not worried about the belts, mountings, exhaust and radiator anymore. Engine also runs quietly, no more bergegar2. I would have had to fork out the money eventually anyway... So, kind of nice to get it all settled. Just a bit of a shocker to be stuck like that lah.

And it did throw my budget off. Was so happy I was well under-budget just the week before! Nasib baik ada a secret stash for my duit belanja the rest of the month... Sabar ajelah...

Sunday Morning Blur...

2011-02-06T10:29:00.000+08:00

5 days of break and now baru nak pikir which things I absolutely must get done today... Granted I whiled away the first doing nothing, work like crazy the second, hung out with family and friend + shopped like a shopaholic (am not kidding, I really bought tons of stuff) on the third, read and moped a little on the fourth and now I'm already on the last!! 24 hours x 5 days is only 120 hours, izzit? Well, guess more could have been done if I wasn't reading so much yesterday, but then, I don't have so much time to read these days, so it was nice to be able to.

Now, among the things I must decide are:
1. Stop by bank and make some payments on the way to OU/gym.
2. Go to OU and i) fix belt (if shop can do it), ii) go to Blue Cube and sort out some phone stuff iii) trim hair? iv) Pick up some this n that from the supermarket.
3. OR go to the gym to hang out, sauna, yoga and work off some blubber. Haven't gone for a couple of weeks and I'm feeling it.
4. OR stay home and clear out old clothes and mags and useless documents and dust and bake etc.

Actually I can get everything done, if I strategize, but brain is in lazy mode and it's too much trouble to think. But now I've babbled about it, I can actually see a course of action...

To the gym first, for either pump or RPM. Grab lunch in Uptown or OU. Go to bank IN OU, then do the rest of the stuff. Come home and deal with chores. It would probably take the whole day, but it would get done, I think. Nice. Cheers!! :-D

And Here's Why We Shouldn't Read Horrorscopes...

2011-02-05T06:38:00.002+08:00

OX: (1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997)

The Ox had a smooth-sailing year in 2010, but 2011 will be the reverse. Not only does he not have the guidance of auspicious stars, the Ox this year is surrounded by small disaster stars. This is a year of fluctuating luck.

MONEY: Wealth is neither much or little. Whatever money gained may be lost in various ways. Refrain from all high-risk investments. Resort to low-risk investments such as fixed deposits. Although the returns are low, it is better than nothing.

HEALTH: Health is also so-so, but be extra cautious when going out so as to avoid any unforeseen circumstances. The presence of a sadness star may affect the health of old people and children at home. Try to avoid funerals or visiting the sick in hospitals, as doing so will suppress your luck.

LOVE: It's poor peach blossom luck this year. No romance luck for singles. For those who are in love, avoid arguments with your loved ones. Maintain a good rapport with your partners, as this will help you de-stress and build good relationships with those you love.

CAREER: The inauspicious violent star will bring obstacles at the workplace. For those planning to set up their own business, it's better to put the idea on hold first. You need to prepare and plan well before embarking on any business for the right timing, or the bad star may bring you misfortune in your venture.

REMEDY: Be more objective when handling anything. Watch out for enemies who may bring accusations against you. Be extra careful when working or driving to avoid mistakes or mishaps.

Thinking vs Memorising

2011-02-03T09:42:00.000+08:00

I am an unfortunate product of a regurgitative education system. I can easily remember facts, but unable to dissect them and form them into any semblance of a useful product. In the school of hard knocks, I am a preschooler.

Quotable Quotes

2011-01-24T23:10:00.000+08:00

Words that are currently more or less stuck in my head:-

"Life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself."-Brian Solis

If it takes five minutes, five minutes will have to be found.

You cannot simply vomit whatever you know into the write-up.

Heh! :P

Transport Trouble...

2011-01-16T17:49:00.001+08:00

Have been having minor inconveniences with both the bike and car recently.

Car radio suddenly died, cardiac arrest again, like last time la. Then the back board (the one covering the boot, whatever you call it) is driving me up the wall because right way up, it falls off its 'shelf', and upside down, it stays but looks ugly as hell. Alamak, baru teringat I wanted to cover it up with an old tablecloth or shawl hari tu. Hmm.. maybe when I go home kot... Anyway, have stopped by the accessories shop to enquire about buying a new original one. So annoying lah! There is this flap that gapes open if I turn it upside down, and my boot is full of nonsense from gym shoes, hiking shoes, baldi cuci kereta, kotak rain cover motor, helmet, kain buruk dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Haih... jatuh saham aku/keta aku.

Jumaat malam tak dapat parking, double park kat tempat biasa. Semalam tak turun, rupa2nya alarm sudah trip, aku tak tau... Agaknya pasal tu la semalam nak call delivery tak lepas2. Yang Nandos tak angkat, McD dah stop deliver ke Permai. gangsta jugak apt aku ni, ya? Teksi takmo datang, delivery takmo hantar... Sabar ajelah. Pasal 'busy', tak nak masak. So berlapar la sampai malam. Then K Ayu call kasi tau alarm dah trip. Seb baik kitorang parking dekat2. Kalau tak, langsung aku tak turun! By the time turun, bateri sudah nak kaput... Keta tak boleh start... adoiiii... Naik keta K Ayu pegi makan, hari ni baru nak kasi setel. Nasib baik call Abang dulu, dia suruh try jump start and charge balik bateri. Malam tadi ingat dah kena beli bateri baru... Jimat duit aku! Alhamdulillah, pagi ni keta dah boleh start sendiri, so kasi dia charge sementara layan motor ... And the radio pun dah ok balik (like last time la). Yeay!

Motor pulak, dari tahun lepas takmo start, pasal kesejukan kot, kena hujan hari-hari. Lepas seminggu tak bawak, dia mogok. Pastu aku sibuk, tambah lagi 3 minggu tak jalan, lagi la dia jam! Tadi try nak start tak boleh. Mujur ada 2 orang boys yang baik hati nak tolong startkan. Mula2 tak nak jugak, tapi lepas diorang blah, pelan2 dia ok. Now dah boleh jalan balik, tapi camni rasa hari2 kena tutup pasal tak tentu bila nak bawak, nanti masuk air hujan demam lagi motor tu... Pasal dah janji dengan kedai, bawak la nak tukar gear meter dengan cover. Tengah jalan tayar pecah la pulak! Try isi angin, dia flat balik. Sorong la ke kedai motor. Nasib baik dah dekat. Part turun bukit I coasting jer. Ni la tengah tunggu diorang baiki nih. Kalau bawak moto pegi keja, jimat sikit duit parking. Sehari dah lima ringgit... duit makan lagi... susah tul nak simpan duit!

So, kalau motor dah setel ni, esok cuba setelkan keta pulak. Nak check timing belt semua tu, keja bulan depan. Bajet aku dah nak habih dah ni!! **Hmm... sempat tak nak hantar cuci kereta? Esok kena drive la...

Stab victim wanted to turn over new leaf

2011-01-10T07:31:00.000+08:00

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/1/9/nation/7763180&sec=nation

Wow. Really? Didn't get very far, did she, if she's preggers already, before even getting engaged... And God knows WHAT she did with the other guy that drove him completely off the wall. Am I being judgemental here? Maybe I am... Maybe I'm just frustrated, not being able to get anywhere with the guys while kids like this have people killing to be with them. Or in this unfortunate case, killing them. NOT what I want, by the way :P

Sigh. I mish my ...

Hapdet

2011-01-07T06:30:00.000+08:00

Sigh... too many things on my mind, feelings in my chest, and no other half to offload to :( At least last time Pakcik was around I could whine to him. He's good at layaning me whine! He's a whiner also la, so we'd have these long whinefests all the time :P Ha ha... Seriously, I could do with someone to balance me up. I like someone la, but with two squares, it's hard to get round, if you get my drift ;-)

Am so freaking out because I bit off more than I can chew and now I'm just struggling to get back on track... Hope I make progress this weekend...

2010-12-29T11:20:00.002+08:00

Wildlife Act takes effect in peninsula and Labuan

By M. SHAMINEE
sham@thestar.com.my

PETALING JAYA: The Wildlife Conservation Act 2010 has been fully enforced in the peninsula and Labuan as of yesterday.

The Act, which was passed by Parliament in August, has a wider scope and jurisdiction in the protection of more wildlife species and activities related to wildlife.

Department of Wildlife and National Parks (Perhilitan) said in a statement yesterday that with the Act fully enforced, it would have better control on all wildlife species, wildlife derivatives, hybrid species and invasive alien species.

Perhilitan, it said, would also have the jurisdiction to address issues on wild animal welfare and cruelty.

“The new law will be more deterrent and provides stringent penalties and punishment for poaching and other wildlife crimes,” it said.

The new penalties include fines of up to RM500,000 with jail term of not more than five years while the minimum penalty imposed for several offences is not less than RM5,000.

The new Act also provides mandatory jail sentence for a term not exceeding five years and a fine not less than RM100,000 and not more than RM500,000 for offences involving protected wildlife such as tigers, rhinoceros, serow (a type of goat), gaur (seladang), leopard, clouded leopard and false gharial (a type of freshwater crocodile).

It also provides for the director-general of Perhilitan to appoint any public officer to exercise the powers of enforcement.

The Wildlife Conservation Act 2010 (Act 716) can be viewed atwww.wildlife.gov.my.

Bed Business...

2010-12-18T02:18:00.000+08:00

Now that MekTam has gone 'home', things are coming back to 'normal' for me and the brats. Room got reorganised, rocking chair gets tucked into the corner, only to be brought out when I actually want to read. This leaves just enough space for me to solat... Talk about compact rooms. My old room was a veritable apartment in comparison! Oh well. The next place should be better, I hope.

Had finally moved my big bed from the other house because my brats take up too much bed space to share. Unfortunately, its mattress had been 'reclaimed' by original owner. Dammit! Now I have to fork out an extra RM500 or so to replace it. Sigh. Is there no end to these expensive expenses?

Since it's quite a chunk of dough, I have decided to really window shop before actually buying a new mattress. Little did I realise how much a 'standard' spring mattress costs! RM500 can only buy me a standard local brand, which seems to be of pretty good quality and comes with a 10 yr guarantee. Other shops - can get imported, but no warranty! Want warranty, pay extra RM200. Aiyo... like that also can ah?

Haven't quite made up my mind, so in the meantime, am using the single mattress that comes with the house. See la, so cacat. Single mattress on a queen bed. Just imagine the gaps are actually shelf space for my reading materials lar, what to do?

Come bedtime, notice that Trina has appropriated my shawl, while Leo chose the blankie at the foot of my bed. Trina also likes to massage and suckle the brown shawl.. Sigh... you miss your mommy, ya, baby? Poor me had to squeeze in wherever I can.. Sabar ajelah.

In the kitchen/ drying area, my cili padi have finally fruited and some were ripe. These were the first harvest I took today. Not a huge amount, but better than nothing. I have finally managed to produce cili api. Yeay!! My previous attempts were not successful due to various reasons. And the taste? SEDAPPP... So fresh, exactly like the ones we used to pick in Nyai's garden when I was small. Organic beb...

Ha ha... am so mengantuk now. Better go to sleep lah. The brats are outside tonight. Thank God. More space for me!

Sleep Deprivation...

2010-12-09T11:27:00.000+08:00

Been fostering a cat for Ee Lynn the past week, and my babies are so not happy about it! The blackies, and even Trina takes turns slipping into my room and harassing the poor little tuxedo cat. And of course Leo just growls and merajuk in displeasure. MekTam just got spayed, and so she needs a lot of peace and quiet to recuperate. As it is, she spends much of the time hiding under the bed...

Now she's gotten used to me, she likes to manja2 every now and then, and there's no hassle to coax her to come out of hiding. She used to really hide under the bed, and I had to wriggle underneath to retrieve her. Now the single bed is outside, and the queen bed is too low to wriggle under, nasib la kalau tak nak keluar makan...

The problem is, she gets extra manja in the freaking middle of the night, and starts whining at 5 a.m. every day!! WHY, baby, WHY??? I need to SLEEP! Especially if I stayed up until 2-3 a.m. working or fooling with the new phone. Sigh. Been turning up late to work and feel crappy to boot. Grrrr....!

Sigh... it's Ee Lynn's birthday today, so I guess I could keep the kitten for a couple more days... Going off to partay with the girls tomorrow, though, so would probably be good to give her back. Also working on Saturday n Sunday, so yes, probably good to send her back by tomorrow.

Weekenders

2010-12-06T14:58:00.000+08:00

Don't you sometimes wish your weekends came with their own weekends? Past 2 days I barely got through my list of crap to deal with! Managed to pay all my bills, then fixed the bike on Saturday. Can't remember what I did that night. Seriously. In between moderating between my brats and MekTam, I didn't get anything much done... Sunday - pretty much wasted the morning reading. Managed to cram washing into machine just before going off to pick up furniture from Sali's and the old house. Wasted more time after that. Malam had early dinner at Kanna's with K Ayu & Rabiatun, then SLOOOOWWWLLLYYY cleared my room of the junk mags, cleaned up bed and put it back together. It's smaller than I imagined, so single mattress covers 3/4 of the queen bed and I have a reasonable bit of space to solat in. Cat's cages took up much of the free space, but that should be OK once MekTam goes home to wherever she came from. Maybe i can put the rocking chair inside to read in. Can lepak on the single bed to read/watch TV. Don't have much choice - super limited space in the apt. Should get rid of extraneous mags soon and find my missing documents - esp the bike papers!! Now the bike is road worthy, should try to make it legal la. Quite pleased with the old thing now, almost everything fixed already, except for fuel/speed gauge cover and speedometer gear.

Other problem is money... Paid bills, Abang, lori, repairs, buy t-shirts, etc etc etc.... I don't know if I can make it through the month... Still got saman to worry about. JPBD document is ready for collection, nak collect tu yang masalahnya. Kalau email aje kan senang... But then, pretty pleased that I managed to get stuff that had been dragging for months settled. Just bite the bullet and tapau food for the rest of the month la... Hadeh... And naik motor to save on parking & car petrol money. Am tempted to charge mattress on CC, but that would probably screw up my credit ratings again. So better sit tight and suffer until I get more cash in hand. Would be nice to dress up the bed in my favourite covers though. Yeah, and then I'll surely itch to buy new bedsheets to celebrate the return of my beloved bed :P I'm sure Leo would be happy to have 'his' side of the bed again too. Am glad this is working out. Still need to clean up house, but Sali's cabinet is helping a lot in controlling the mess of my stuff.

Sheez... am glad I have money to get things moving, but a little bit more won't hurt either. Lalala... :D

Making Choices

2010-11-14T21:36:00.000+08:00

Been thinking of upgrading the bike the other day. Or the car... In the end, just spent money fixing both.

Changed the kapcai's wheel spokes (yang kuning rempit tuh) and rusty shock absorbers, plus problem brake. Looks much nicer now. Will try to give it a bath tonight to rid it of oily black handprints. Esok nak kena suruh diorang check the rattling noise from the back wheel. I rasa the chain guard is rubbing against the chains nih. WD40 pun kat ofis, the chain is so dry!! Kalau boleh suruh diorang tukar semua cover2 lampu yang dah buruk tu, semangat sikit nak pakai. If I can save a bit on petrol and parking, would be easier to save $$ for an apartment...

Then tadi nak beli either the boot cover or seat covers for the car. Dua2 takde kat Eneos. So just bought a tyre iron and jack to replace the ones I dumped. Boleh tak, drive as far as Merapoh without a basic emergency kit in the boot? Kot nya lah tayar pancit kat tengah hutan nun, hancus!! Got a steering cover and rearview mirror too, plus painted the ugly gearstick cover black. And a can of spray paint to touch up those ugly scratches on the front and back bumpers, The colour doesn't exactly match, tapi boleh la sementara nak hantar kedai for repainting... Nak upgrade, not a good time right now. So maybe just improve the decor, get my regular shop to check timing belt and investigate noisy idling, hopefully can make driving the old jalopy a little more pleasurable, tak segan kalau kawan2 tumpang... Kesian keta tu tak dibela betul2.

Yes, a new bike and/or car would be a treat, but right now, would be better to focus on saving up so that I can buy an apartment as planned. Bike's paid for, so would be stupid to rack up more debt to change that. Have recently applied for a 0-interest balance transfer for my credit card, so hopefully will be more financially independent in a year's time. Sigh.. sometimes I wish I had a fairy godmother...

Antara Realiti dan Fantasi...

2010-11-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

Kadangkala aku suka bermimpi... Mimpi-mimpi indah yang langsung tidak berpijak di bumi nyata. Ada kalanya aku lupa, siapa diriku sebenarnya. Malah sering aku keliru, antara fantasi dan realiti, mana satu hakikat diriku? Akan tiba satu ketika di mana aku terpaksa memilih, dan mengambil tindakan, supaya sekurang-kurangnya tak semua angan-anganku kosong semata...

Antara yang mungkin terjadi:
1. Jadi superbiker.
- OK, maybe not superbiker. Tayar jer dah lebih kurang harga keta buruk aku. But at least upgrade la kapcai rempit tu ke something yang lebih sesuai untuk saiz XXL aku ni. At least tak la segan parking depan ofis...
- First course of action - pi ambik lesen motor.

2. Beli apt/condo - If I EVER find something that is not super overpriced, insya-Allah.

3. Slim down.
- Been going to the gym and working out. Stamina dah much improved, joints tak sakit lagi. Very good, tapi weight & fat mass masih terlalu tinggi. Will need to control food intake and do more cardio to balance weight training and yoga.
- should remember that my preferred shape is long & lean, not tall and fat. Long & lean would also complement the hot bike.

So... sexy superbiker buys bike to celebrate losing weight? Fine. Just make sure you manage to keep this job. Not easy to find something you love so much :D

Save Fuel PSA

2010-10-22T11:17:00.000+08:00

I've always wanted to write this up...

Remember the PSA where the girl comes out late and the BF had to wait in the car? Goes something like this-

G: Sorry I'm late.
B: It's OK, I only had to wait 10 minutes.
G: (silly giggle) (breathless voice) OK. Where are we going? I'm staarving...
B: (In disgruntled, bored, I'm so going to break up with you voice) To the petrol station. I've run out of gas.

My reaction has always been: - DUDE! Get a bloody new car!

If a mere 10 minutes wait made you run out of gas, it only means
a) you were almost empty to begin with (just before a date? seriously) or
b) your car's a freaking gas guzzler and deserves to be thrown to the wolves. Oh wait. No, don't. It might kill the wolves.

It kind of illustrates the need to switch off your engine instead of idling, but seriously, ten minutes and you're low? Get a new car!! Even my jalopy doesn't consume as much.

There. It's off my chest now. :D

Making Scents

2010-10-21T10:23:00.000+08:00

Maybe some people are anosmic, but scents definitely matter to me. It bothers me if someone doesn't smell of anything, or like moth balls! Eek, dude, put on some cologne boleh tak? While some people hate the normal scents of healthy humans, I see no problem with people giving off some pheromones as long as they don't stink of unwashed sweat or reek of cloying oils. Have a sweet smelling week, everyone :P

What up, doc?

2010-10-15T18:02:00.000+08:00

Seems like a really long time since I blogged. Many things have happened, which I'm really happy about, but just doesn't feel right to publish online. But I guess I could tell people that I'm back in the conservation line, covering for Loretta's departure from MYCAT. Hers are big shoes to fill, so I hope I don't disappoint the lovely people on my team. Being back in Taman SEA feels like coming home again, bumping into old friends every other day. I feel so alive! Can't believe it's been 6 years since I left WWF.

Then last weekend I joined a bunch of MNS guys to Taman Negara Pahang, just to go mucking about in the forest. It was so good to reconnect to mother earth (despite what Hymeir said :-P). Even birding was forgotten as I redirected my attention to identifying the footprints we encountered. And the decision to go river trekking back to the camp was a really good call. It so reminded me of my uni days, except that now I had a pair of reasonably good boots to protect my feet. Didn't think they would last, but my Bata Outdoor boots held up surprisingly well. Afterwards had to light a wood fire since I didn't have time to buy gas for my burner. Not so easy since everything was damp and the smoky fire blackened up my mess tins pretty darn quick! Messy mess tins. Hrmph. Lucky I didn't have to drive home as I had a full day of cleaning up to do afterwards.

There was also the MNS 70th Anniversary Royal Dinner I attended the following night. More old friends, some of whom I haven't seen for years. Was nice to see my Tai Kor and fellow ex-Selangor Committee members.

Back at work, it was a relatively peaceful week, with just enough work to keep me moving without being overwhelmingly busy. And now, at the end of the day, am looking forward to partying with my darling sistas and attending Jai & Asma's wedding.

Life is good. Alhamdulillah :-)

Feeling good.. Or maybe it's just gas :D

2010-08-20T10:44:00.000+08:00

Woke up feeling 'light' in my midsection, a feeling I haven't experienced much of late. Maybe it was the stress of an overwhelming job, but have been feeling so much better now after going for massages and yoga classes. And before anyone spews nonsense about yoga being haram, I firmly believe that the exercise is purely physical. If breathing is haram, then I can't help cure your idiocy.

I do think the exercises helped 'open up' tight muscles and blocked arteries, allowing the body to heal itself. I have been feeling off for a long time, mainly due to stress, and basic Swedish massages haven't fixed the problem. I'm so happy I signed up for the gym. At last, somewhere I could have a bit of fun exercise and socialise afterwards. So different from gyms I visited before.

Used to think this light feeling forebode good luck, but maybe it's just a change in biological processes. Or maybe it's just gas... : D

Conditional Love

2010-07-28T11:07:00.000+08:00

Went to a forum last night. Missed their dinner, so came back tired and hungry and broke (tak sempat ambik duit, ATM dah tutup). Sister kindly informed me that Bubu got trapped in my room earlier, so first thing I checked for was for poo. Didn't smell anything immediately so I thought I was safe. Unfortunately, there was poo on the bed - under my blankie. Ugh. Gross!!

Accidents like these have been happening far too often. Sometimes I close the door, not realising that one of the bloody cats was stretched on top of the cupboard or under my bed, well out of sight. Sometimes I left the door ajar, only to have it slam shut sometime in the day. Unable to escape thru the window (no ledge, 10th floor) - they often resort to showing their displeasure by sabotaging my bed. NOT a pleasant situation to discover after a long day at work plus other activities. Sigh.

Hujung minggu ni kerja lagi. Even less time to deal with dirty clothes, kena tambah lagi compromised linen. Hadooiii.... I have no energy left for this.... Hate the stupid brats...

"I'm Moving On"

2010-07-26T11:49:00.002+08:00

(Rascal Flatts)

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

Dilemmas

2010-07-23T14:42:00.000+08:00

We found a place we wanted to buy the other day, but I guess it wasn't meant to be... The price was right, we all loved the place, but unfortunately things fell apart before we even laid down the booking fee...

The owners' solicitors sent a Letter of Offer which Abang thought would put us in a dangerous position. Despite saying this, they didn't bother to change the letter, even after we pointed out the problem. To make matters worse, we didn't have a lawyer on hand to represent us and we didn't take steps to immediately make the necessary changes through our lawyers. Furthermore, the time frame was terribly short, which gave us no time to sort things out before the offer came due.

After going back and forth for almost a week, the owners decided to accept another offer at a higher price. It's a bit upsetting to me, because I thought it was a good buy, but the sale fell through because of bad communication and cooperation.

First, Abang decided to haggle over the price AFTER I had agreed to the initial amount. Of course that didn't go well with the sellers. Then, I don't know what he told them, but it sounded like we couldn't pay the deposit, even though we already put aside the money. I only had some reservations due to my uncertain financial circumstances.

Then there was the problem of the solicitors' reluctance to make amendments to their offer letter. They asked me to sign first and make amendments later. But the S&P will follow the original acceptance letter! I had HUGE reservations about putting my signature on a legally binding document that basically puts all of us in danger of financial jeopardy. So even though we have the money, and I pointed out that we could amend the letter itself, Abang didn't like the idea of merely scribbling on the offer letter, especially when the owners' signatures were not included.

At the end of the day, I just decided to let it go, because none of us had the time to wade through the morass of miscommunication and non-cooperation from their side.

On my side, it is quite a letdown, after being so excited about moving to the new house. It WAS a good buy, with a lot of extras, but basically the legalities held us back. After all, we couldn't afford to lose so much money in case anything went wrong. They already had one failed buying attempt before, probably due to the unrealistic agreement. Basically we think the lawyers don't really know what they're doing, and the agreement is basically unfair because the lawyers are related to the sellers. So good luck to future buyers...

So now I'll have to start looking again. I have to say that I was initially annoyed with Abang for hanging on to the document, but then I realised that he did have a valid point. On the other hand, he could have engaged his legal guys to fix the problem immediately instead of keeping mum and sitting on it! But then, the unrealistic time frame and agreement was another huge stumbling block...

While I do understand why the owners are annoyed, but they should have addressed our concerns too. If they had done something about the agreement, we would have happily signed and put down the deposit without further delay. I could have called the owner and explained it properly, I suppose, but everyone was harried and rushing all over the place, so in the end, it all went to pot.

At the end of the day, I'd say both parties made mistakes, and things could definitely be handled better. But now I have good reason to get a proper job, because I hated being stuck because Abang held the money and his ding-donging cost us a perfectly nice place to live in. Hrmm.. you can see I'm still a little bit cheesed off. Heh.

Misadventures of a Gymster Wannabe

2010-07-19T16:18:00.000+08:00

Well, not exactly a wannabe, the gym is just somewhere convenient to burn some blubber. Some days I go there just to drink coffee and take a hot shower! Imagine if I did that when I wasn't feeling too good. I might not have lost my RM149 refund because I was short by 2 visits... :-(

Anyway, since I've never been any good in sports, I'm learning stuff the hard way now. One of them is don't eat or drink too much just before a workout. And unfortunately, it's too easy to cross the line into 'too much' without even realising it. I was feeling good on Sunday when I went to the gym. Had had noodles that morning - with quite a lot of soup. Signed up for RPM and drank some more before it started. Disaster struck when the session started....

That day's trainer is a little more hardcore than the one before, and too soon I realised that I couldn't keep up because I had drunk too much, leaving too little room for breathing! Ugh... that was uncomfortable... By the end of the class I breathed better, but still did not do as well as I should have. You know I'm suffering when I keep looking at the clock, wondering when the class would be over. Heh!

The other thing on my mind is the condo we're trying to buy. Abang is being uncharacteristically sticky about the price and agreement... Sigh. I'm SO looking forward to moving there... Tapi itulah, deposit pun tak setel lagi. My friend's lawyer tak angkat fon. Tak angkat sudah, I pakai lawyer lain... Hoping things will work out soon. Including getting a proper job. Insya-Allah...

Missing in Action

2010-06-29T19:05:00.000+08:00

When I came back from Bkt Nanas on Sunday I was pretty much whipped. I conked out immediately. I'm still not feeling so great. Slept this whole afternoon too, despite wanting to use my off day to deal with the mess.

My room is a disaster and there are items missing. Like my Transitions specs. And a paper bag of french fries, which would soon start to stink unless the urban legend about McD fries being made of indestructible plastic is true. My clean clothes and not so clean clothes are in danger of being mixed together. Definitely need to find a bigger apartment soon. Am busy house shopping and there's so many things floating around, like that lecturing job and the unfinished WWF project plus the PS the Children database. Shoot. Really need to get my act together fast...

Defining 'Progress'

2010-06-16T01:47:00.000+08:00

Weighed myself after gym today. I was about 2.4 kg lighter than my starting point. Not huge progress if you consider that the gym has become something of a second home to me. But then, I might be a tad dehydrated, I probably lost some fat and built some muscle, which is supposed to be heavier. Therefore I might be in better shape now. The truth is, I just don't know!

I was supposed to weigh in on that special scale that tells your percentage of body fat and stuff, but last Sunday it was taken out on a mission, and now it's broken! Sigh. Managed to get some juicy tidbits about Biggest Loser season 2 from one of the guys, though. Even saw some pix. Heh heh. Kalau dulu for sure the info would be sent to me by Hallmark themselves. But really, do NOT miss the constant headache of scraping up ideas and getting every freaking thing organised. It was fun, but am sure glad it's over!

As for me, I'm still struggling on... Almost bailed 10 minutes into RPM last night. I had this pain in my head, and hypochondriac that I am, I got worried that it might be an aneurysm which would blow if I continued cycling... Instead, I took it easy and did my best to breathe. The pain subsided, but am still a bit apprehensive. You never know right? I am STILL the queen of the Persatuan Kaki Bangku seMalaysia, despite my new fascination with exercise. Even planning to join the Shape run. Purely doing it for the goody bags, of course. Going to run just fast enough to avoid coming in last. Not so hopeful, but might as well strike while the chicken-shit is hot...

About the weight loss, still can't decide how much I need to lose. If according to insane gym projections, I have about 20 kgs left to drop. By my original plan, only 9.5 kg. By adjusted target, 12.5 kg; and by 'not sure where number came from' target, another sizeable 17.5. So which is it, girl?

Maybe I should just go by fat percentage. Drop 3% now and lower it down to at least 30% by September. Sounds more achievable, right? Dropping 2 kg was hard enough. 20 kg? God help those who need to lose 200!

"Gentle Reminders"

2010-06-01T11:53:00.000+08:00

God is most forgiving of our sins, but every once in a while, we do get reminders that we're getting out of line... Remember I was planning to go back to the gym on Thursday night? Well, in my haste to get there, I decided to pray Asar 'later'.

When I got to my car, the alarm was bleeping weakly, indicating that it had been activated some time ago. It wouldn't disarm, and only stopped when I OPENED one of the doors. Great. Needless to say, it wouldn't start either. I had to do something I hated - get my brother to bail me out. He had to detour on his way back from work and find my new office in an unfamiliar new territory. While waiting, I realised there was a car shop just at the other end of the block, so I asked one of the guys to come take a look.

The diagnosis: my battery was already dying, which was why it triggered the alarm. Apparently, car batteries do that - presumably to call attention upon itself. Had no choice but to replace the battery.

So reminder to self - whatever you do, prayer gets priority. Kapish?

Workout log

2010-05-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

Missed gym last night because I conked out as soon as I got home. Felt pretty bad, suspect it's dehydration. Office water supply is not great, and RO water makes me sick. On the other hand, knees feel better when I don't strain them working out. Will have to push through the pain, I guess. If don't tone up my muscles, they'll never be up to par.

Was late for Balance again this morning. Seriously, leaving the apt is a challenge. For some reason, it takes me half an hour to get out the door, then have to wait interminably for the super slow lift to go down and back up again. Understandably, at 7 a.m., there's a lot of stops for kids going to school and people going to work, so it's even slower. Plus, only one lift is working right now, the other one is down again. THEN, I had to push aside 4 cars before I could exit. Seriously. Lucky the roads weren't jammed yet at that hour, but I still got in late. Had trouble with some of the poses because 1) my left knee is still a bit wonky, and 2) I wasn't quite awake yet at that hour. Tried to sleep early last night, but still stayed up a bit, so still not getting enough sleep. Bad habit. Bad for concentration and insulin balance.

Hoping to catch some more classes tonight. Can do more sessions now that my muscles are less sore, just need to jaga my knees, can't afford to screw them up. Plus, I was 'forced' to sign up for the KL Marathon. It's more for donation purposes, but my friends haven't responded to the spamming, will have to call them and ask for donations now. Hurmph.. In for a penny, in for a pound... Will just have to push through it now. Will need to sort out details since Azri's wedding will be on 26th June and the marathon the day after. My passport pun expiring in October, so will have to renew jugak. See la how.

Oza out.

Tales from the Gym

2010-05-22T12:15:00.001+08:00

People say that people who have multiple tattoos got addicted to the pain of the process. Yes, they get something out of it - nice tats, for those who are into them anyway.

For me, I think I'm getting addicted to the gym. Slightly addicted. Have not spent nights dreaming of torture chambers and mean machines, but enough to drag my sorry ass out of the apartment. Figured that if I had any hope of dropping 20 kgs, some pain is necessary. Thank God I don't ache much anymore. The only problem I have is a stiff left knee. Something must have got out of alignment, because now I find it hard to duduk antara 2 sujud. Am able to handle most movements, but haven't been able to fix this particular problem. Any tips, anyone?

Have tried a few Group X classes. Thank goodness the instructors tolerate my bumbling efforts to keep up. Here's the skinny on how they went:-
BodyBalance: Been wanting to try this for ages but never quite managed to get there on time. Was rather late this morning, but barged in anyway. Glad I did, because it was the most relaxing class ever! Loved it.
Line dancing: Any visions I ever had of old ladies dancing in a line flew out the window yesterday as I grappled with the alien idea of actually dancing. Latin songs, cha cha, TANGO??? Seriously... The instructor kept going, "Point 3x, save a step, cha cha cha. See? That's all. Easy peasy." Right. Define easy. I managed well enough when she's going slowly, but as soon as the music goes on, all the moves fly out of my head and I end up looking like a drunken elephant going round in circles. Not a pretty sight. You know I'm choreographically challenged... Must bug Azzy to teach me the ABCs. Will I ever try it again? Maybe.

BodyJam: Tried it once, yesterday. As in line dancing, I spazzed out. Drunk elephant seal. Try it again? Maaaaybe.

BodyPump: Quite enjoy it, actually. Fun alternative to using 10 different machines to tone different muscle groups.

BodyCombat: By far, my favourite class. Straightforward, powerful and fun. No going round in dizzy circles, thank you. Discovered there are favourite instructors, and people actually go to different gyms to join his classes! One sure indicator is the number of people in class. Friday nights - There's so many people that your side kick could very possibly land on your neighbour!! That said, the other day I caught my reflection in the mirror and I looked like a big fat wet fettuccine throwing itself all over the place. Darn. Gotta work on my technique. Obviously.

Easy Step & BodyStep: Not too bad, but hardly my favourites. I do get lost with some of the more complicated movements (which are not complicated to others, it seems). I think I should join more of these 'complicated' classes, if only to improve my mental coordination. It really feels like I'm running on 128kb RAM when 2GB is called for.

So there you go. Have tried most of the classes at one time or another. Probably should change my modus operandi and just grab whatever class is going on next. Some are good for the muscles, while others are good for the mind. Either way, it's nice to have a bit of fun :)

Which one is sexier?

2010-05-21T12:37:00.000+08:00

Funny. I find the machine sexier. But that's just me :)

What's up in May 2010?

2010-05-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

Dah lama I tak blog kan? Just after I quit my writing job, I was too depressed/ill to do anything. Eventually I fixed the meds problem and started volunteer work and later real paying projects. Am still working on one volunteer project, which is by now overdue, but couldn't be helped. Must finish it this week.

Have been addicted to Chuck, as mentioned in the earlier post. Somehow it spoils me for anything else, even Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. Too much drama, too little funny. And too much sleeping w each other. Yuck. Almost like incest! Weird. CSI is of course still on my list of favourites. I adore the cast as well as I love figuring out their cases. Am still a geek at heart. But CSI is not as re-watchable as Chuck. Nothing is as re-watchable as Chuck! Love everyone on it, even Jeffster grows on you. Go figure :P

My new passion is a surprising one. Well, maybe not quite passion. Shall we call it an acceptance? I've actually signed up for a gym! Seriously. Me, the gym hating, outdoor loving, can never afford it, nature freak; actually making a commitment to earn more money so that I can pay a lot of money to go torture my poor muscles.

Let's face it. It's hard to go jogging/walking in my current neighbourhood. Open drains everywhere. Not safe. There is no swimming pool. Trekking - no kakis. Rowing - no pardner (to steady the boat while entering/alighting). Plus Putrajaya is too damn far to go regularly.

The gym, on the other hand, is close by. Now that my bike is fixed, I can ride there, provided it's not raining. (It's easier to park a bike than a car in Uptown.) Already halfway to old house, so I can stop by to check mail.Guess the main seller is personality. FF is comfy, with real shower stalls, real friendly staff (not nose turning perasan stuckups in CF), and classes which are actually FUN. Instructors that actually look out for newbies, and money back offer for regular attendance after PT sessions? Couldn't pass that up! The marketer didn't try to hard sell me. There's a basic drinks bar, with a cozy lepak area to cool down over coffee and the paper. Smart people. I especially like the use of warm wooden panels instead of stark steel all over.

Unsurprisingly, my baseline tests revealed an obese level of body fat, and that I was dehydrated. Really?? Wow. Really have to buy a new water filter for kitchen sink. Water tastes quite yucky. Yeah, yeah, I'm picky that way.

My muscles are still slightly sore, but am glad I let myself be talked into doing Bodypump last Saturday since I missed the BCombat class. It was doable, thanks to the kind instructor who strongly advocated that I stay with the minimum 2 kg load. I think if I had taken on more I'd pengsan by now. Can alternate that with Bodycombat, my favourite class. I'm not bloodthirsty, mind, I just find it more doable than complicated dance moves in Step or BodyJam. Am a hopelessly uncoordinated klutz. Nuff said.

And would it be a surprise if it all came back to Chuck? I mean, who wouldn't want to be as hot as Sarah Walker /Yvonne Strahovsky? Or score someone as cute as Chuck/ Zac Levi? Even Casey/ Adam Baldwin is fit. Obviously I'd never be as hot as any of these guys, but hey, it would be nice to be lean and fit instead of a big sack of lard as per current situation. It might also keep my DM problem in check. It would be great if I could stop relying on meds...

Am about to start something new in a couple of weeks, hope it won't interfere with personal care time. Have no wish to go back to stupid overworked life ever again. Here's to a better tomorrow :)

The Chuckaholic

2010-04-26T23:45:00.001+08:00

Sheez. I'm surprised at myself. I know what I normally get addicted to - computer games and Grey's Anatomy and CSI. I fell out of love with Grey's already and I just watch new CSI episodes out of curiosity.

For the past two weeks have been watching Chuck videos almost non-stop, except when I really needed to work/ sleep/ go to the gym/ have dinner with friends, of course. It's insane! I don't usually trawl You Tube for videos. Guess what I've been doing lately...? Have watched bloopers, casting videos, interviews, comic con panel stuff, etc etc etc. started out with Zac Levi, then of course Yvonne Strahotski, because those two belong together, then a bit of Joshua Gomez, then suddenly found a truckload of stuff with Adam Baldwin, who by the way is sooooo cute. Cut it out. I'm not gonna go nuts over the guy, just stating the obvious, you know.Oh, plus I actually listened to Podcasts dissecting the show! I'm turning into a crazy shipper!

One thing about the show - it's cute, and in a weird Oza kind of way, kind of motivating. It's nice to see a geek become a hero, it helps that they already preselected Zac Levi for his cuteness. Damn, I never thought he was cute until later in the show when his 'cuteness' surfaced, or allowed to surface anyway. And the dude fits so well with Yvonne. Can you believe how many people made fanvids of the two of them? And so many people hate Tim Loden, Yvonne's loser boyfriend. (Yes, I'm one of them). Zac already broke up with Caitlyn Crosby (who I don't think suits him that well either). And for the record, I have no illusions about meeting these people face to face. They're just amazingly intriguing at the moment. It will wear off, I hope.

Mainly though, the show really cracks me up I'm sure my neighbours are wondering why there is someone ketawa terbahak-bahak in that apartment next door :P Plus the acting is super good. There is a lot of subtle interaction between the characters. You really see the emotions, especially between Chuck and Sarah.

On that note, what is it that makes someone cute or adorable or sexy anyway? I used to think that my TaiKor was sexy/ super hot. Then I saw his photo again and went like 'eww'! So many guys I thought were 'sweet' were hailed as 'sexy' and super hot by others. Man... did I fail Guys 101 or what??

Case #1 - George Eads (Nick Stokes, CSI Vegas). I thought he looked like a nice guy, the type who would hold an old lady as she climbs the stairs. Fans voted him Top Ten Sexiest Men on TVGuide. I stand corrected.

Case #2 - Adam Baldwin aka Colonel John Casey on Chuck. I liked him because I read somewhere that he's been married forever (only 1 wife) and has 3 kids and calls himself 'a family man'. I like that. Then I found fanvids of him. Okaaayy.. Yes, I noticed his hotness, but you know... I thought he's adorable. He's so a Sugar Bear. Go Ilsa! :D
(You don't know what I'm talking about, do you? Check out Chuck Season 1 Episode 12, Chuck vs the Undercover Lover)

Case #3 - Zac Levi - OK. He's cute. And funny. And intelligent. And rides a Ducati Monster 750. Also owns a Harley. And races cars. Need I say more? NOT a total geek.

Sigh. MY geek would be someone who wants to sit by the river in the middle of the forest at night.... Entah bila la nak jumpa :P

Hari Hari Mau

2010-04-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

This is so typical me not being up to speed on things. Very sorry, o Monkey King, for not posting my first entry on Monday as per your instructions. Totally my fault for being too preoccupied with work + Chuck to read the instructions properly. My bad.

Anyhow, what do I say? There are over a hundred blogs doing this, and somehow I'm sure they'd repeat the same things. I'll skip the basic info about Malayan tigers (Panthera tigris jacksonii) and simply share what I learnt from the Sg Yu campaign in Taman Negara.

Many of us don't think we have anything to do with the decimation of the tiger population. But maybe we do, in a roundabout way. Think about the water we waste everyday. If everyone is so wasteful, soon there will be a water 'shortage' and people would suggest building another dam or piping water from the other side of the main range. All these developments destroy tiger habitat and can actually be avoided if people are so much more careful about their consumption.

Same goes for waste generation - more land will be needed for landfills if we don't stop throwing so much stuff away all the time. And one way to slow down the rate is 1) stop buying/accepting so much stuff, 2) compost your biodegradable waste and 3) reuse or recycle stuff.

I understand that we need to generate income somehow, but is it necessary to convert all logged forests into palm oil? Tigers can survive in logged forests, but it would be much harder for them to live in oil palm plantations. There won't be nearly enough prey for them to live on, not to mention the potential for conflict with the workers and/or villagers.

In Sg Yu, people have reported conflict with elephants rampaging through their kebun, but they failed to realise that the reason there is conflict is because THEY were encroaching into the Taman Negara area, which is basically allocated for the wildlife. If they stayed clear of wildlife territory, there wouldn't be conflict, would there? Some cases seem innocent enough. A boy killed a leopard cat (I think that's what it was, can't remember) because it ate his chickens, not realising that they're an endangered species. I personally believe that man should not be so hasty to eliminate anything which is 'stealing' his resources because guess what? You're doing it to the animals' resources! So there.

Then there are the snares. Most of the kampung guys set snares for deer and kijang, animals like that. Bear in mind that snares are illegal, ya. They might SEEM less dangerous than guns, but their effects can be devastating. First off, when they catch deer and stuff, they're eating the tigers' prey. Then other people come in and catch wild boar too - also tiger prey. 2nd choice, but better than nothing. And the snares catch anything that trips them off - even humans. The only difference is, humans have hands and opposable thumbs, so most of the time, they can free themselves. The other thing is, when an animal is snared, they'd do anything to escape - even if they lose a limb in the process. Hence 3 legged mammals found in our forests. If they can't, secondary infection kicks in and they might die of blood poisoning. Some, like elephants may be able to free the snares, but then live years with a wire constricting their limbs, effectively amputating their legs as they grow.

I saw footage of the tiger that was rescued from a snare in Belum. (Watch the video, it's on the sidebar.) Its foot had to be amputated, it finally succumbed to stress and died. And the mighty tiger shed a tear...

How cruel can we humans be? Are we not the Caliphs of the world? Change now. Save the tiger, save ourselves...

xxx,
Oza

---
The tiger is our national animal. Our heritage. But today only less than 500 of them
remain in the wild. As Malaysians, we need to stand up and protect our heritage.
Speak to your children. Speak to your leaders. Everyone of us can make a difference.

For further information, please visit MYCAT (www.malayantiger.net), WWF Malaysia
(www.wwf.org.my) and Department of Wildlife & National Parks (www.wildlife.gov.my)

You know you've watched too much Chuck when...

2010-04-18T02:01:00.001+08:00

You start suspecting yr friends of living a double life...

Like.. let's say the bear. Came to SEA in his teens and never left. He does a lot of undercover work in his line of duty and he travels extensively. Pretty good cover for international espionage, wouldn't you say? Married life - can be cover oso what...

Then there's Pakcik. Seems like a gentle guy, but then, it might be a cover, right? Who would suspect him being anything but a middle aged consultant. Maybe his 6 months in South America was a cover.. Hmm.. MI6?

Plus a number of other people who are "freelancers" and "expats". Who really knows who they really are. But then again, they can't all be gun-toting butt-kicking spy dudes, can they?

He he. Wake up, girl. Chuck marathon's over. Don't miss yr deadlines, kay? : P

Remember when...

2010-04-16T16:34:00.000+08:00

... 1GB was a lot of space?

Looked through my external hard disk today and saw that there was ONLY 979 Mb of space left in one of the partitions. Will need to weed out the unnecessary stuff in there sometime. It's nothing too important, just a collection of music and movies I downloaded, half of which I haven't watched and some I didn't feel were important enough to immortalize on CD.

Not too long ago, maybe six, seven years tops, I forked out RM105 for a 64Mb thumb drive. That was the cheapest I could find, the "high end" ones cost more than RM300. It became important for my coursework since floppy disks only held roughly 1Mb of memory each? A problem when your Powerpoint presentation topped 5Mb.

Still, 1GB was an untold amount of space back then. Computer hard drives were only 20 GB, and that was enough for a decent OS, with space left over for your files. Then file sizes exploded, soon the standard became 40GB, later 80GB. Now 160GB is pretty much the norm for a new laptop. And external drives - 1 Terabyte, 2 Terabytes... Wow! Crazy, innit?

It's common for companies to give away thumb drives holding pertinent information during events, decorated in various creative ways. 1GB is already the norm, I even got a 4GB one at some point. And to think once upon a time I had to PAY for a measly 64 MB. What will they think of next? :-)

The Cannibal in Me

2010-04-11T21:36:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Sali, I now have a new computer to work on. One which is light coloured, which I favour over black; has a matte screen like the old one and works fine.

Actually took it for my sister, who can't do stuff when I'm on the one and only computer in the house. Since Sali offered to let go of her old underutilised laptop for a song, I grabbed the opportunity. But as I fiddled with the computer, I quickly found it to be more appealing than my new Acer which is fast and current, but not so great to WORK on. Older type screens are easier on my eyes - less glaring, no reflections. And I have a thing against black, which I feel is depressing and uninviting. The NEC looks a little like the computer I lost too.

It wasn't immediately good, though. As I suspected, the RAM size was very small. The computer is heavy, as was the norm 5 years ago. And our dear friend did not update the OS since forever. Even the clock was off since the machine hadn't been booted for far too long! I couldn't log on my wireless network, although thank God it does have an inbuilt wireless card. The hard drive is a tad too small, but that's not such a big deal since I can utilise my external drive and thumbdrive for storage.

Decided that the first order of the day (or night) was to upgrade the OS. Thank God (again) that it's original. Had to connect online manually using cable since I couldn't log on using the wireless. So many things have changed over the years that it's quite difficult to do anything on a computer running on XP SP 1. Left it to download as I slept and installed it first thing in the morning. Once done, I started upgrading the Firefox and imported my bookmarks. Thank God for XMarks! I'd hate having different sets on each computer!

Unfortunately, the wireless card couldn't handle logging on to a WPA encrypted network, so had to muddle around resetting to WEP instead. Had problems so sought help from the Belkin guys. They are SO helpful and I finally managed to get both computers on wireless. So glad for that.

To solve the RAM problem, cannibalised the extra RAM I had added to my dead HP. Miraculously, it fit. At first Abang thought the extra RAM wasn't compatible, but thanks to a bit of bullheadedness on my part, it proved to be a live one. So RAM is now 480Mb. Not up to current standards, but good enough to work on. No extra cost.

Updated the MS Office, and we're good to go. Now we'll just have to sort out who pays Sali since now I technically control both computers. Except that K Ayu will use my Acer more since I'd work on the old NEC. No one knows how much is the old computer is really worth, but know what, I don't really care. I love it already :)

Oza's "I Don't Really Care" Chocolate Pudding

2010-03-09T18:10:00.000+08:00

Ingredients:

Leftover chocolate cake
Leftover chocolate icing
Milk/ milky stuff
sugar
Cocoa powder
Eggs
Corn flour

Not in the mood to measure ingredients, I decided to cook ala chef Michael Smith - without a recipe. Like, our beloved ancestors have been cooking by the seat of their pants since forever, right? So why bother with measurements now? Just play by ear. How wrong can you get??

So, started by breaking up week-old cake and scattering it around a flan pan. Then nuked leftover icing to soften it to a gooey consistency. Proceeded to make some kind of milk with underutilised protein powder and underutilised milk powder. Warm it up. Beat an egg with vanilla. Maybe 2 would have been better. Diluted half a cup of corn flour and cocoa powder with water. Throw in egg into warm 'milk', whisk it up. Bunged in sugar. One cup, more or less. Next, addded corn flour mix and whisked. It was quite runny at first. Was starting to dilute more starch when the pudding started to thicken up - too quickly!!! Managed to keep it under control and soon had it off the flame. Scraped in leftover icing from the bowl and mixed everything up. Spread it all over leftover cake and left pudding to cool. It might taste blah in the beginning, but worry not. It gets better once it has a chance to cool down.

So... gotta go shower. Gate crashing a party tonight. Wink!

Broken Wing

2010-02-22T03:43:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a little bird that was just learning to fly. She tried to reach the next branch, but it was too high up. She kept trying to wing her way and failing. One day, she was so tired she fell off the tree where they were perched. She managed to climb back up, but she was never the same again. She had hurt her wing in the fall. No one understood why she couldn't fly, neither did the bird itself. Could the wing heal someday? We hope so...

The Collector

2010-02-21T15:10:00.002+08:00

Isn't it frustrating when things are not where you expect them to be? I'm not much of a collector, but lately have been collecting a few TV series. My listed hobby is birding, but am actually a closet Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and CSI junkie. Seriously, sometimes I wish I could actually be a CSI. That would be SO cool! Especially if the guys are half as cute as the new guy n CSI Miami.. Ha. I wish. So far, the only payback i got was winning 500 bucks at a CSI themed party last year. Why couldn't I indulge in something that could make me rich for a change??

Couple of days ago tried to do a GA marathon and realised that the earlier episodes were all jumbled up in dozens of CDs crammed into undersized voucher files masquerading as CD holders. Yes, I agree that I'm a cheapskate. Therefore I had this genius idea of burning them all into proper DVDs. Nicely labelled ones, with matching titles, not a mishmash of names given by the uploaders and left any which way. Unfortunately, it turned out that doing this demanded that i copy everything back into the computer, a time-consuming exercise, and in doing so, discovered double files, missing ones and those that didn't make much sense. Managed to sort GA out after checking some online episode lists, and come to terms with my missing episodes. Am burning the collection now.

That leaves me with CSI and Private Practice to deal with. Have realised that I deleted the whole bunch of PP season 1 because frankly, it was full of crap. But now that it has somewhat improved I want a complete collection! (I still think it's nonsensical, I just watch it to see Addison and a few cute guys. How sad is that? :P) Anyway, also found that a whole bunch is missing from Season 2. I could have stopped downloading for a few months (which was possible, due to my overworked life), or, I could have already burned them into DVDs and lost them - which is also a strong possibility since I swear I had burned CSI season 7 and 8 on DVDs and they're missing as well.

So now will have to check for missing CSI episodes and try to download them from the net... The rest I'll just jumble up into a mixed DVD. No harm done, it's all just for my own private viewing anyway...

Bl**dy Banks..

2010-02-19T11:45:00.002+08:00

I so hate it when I try to pay off a loan and they won't allow me. There's a price to pay to save on interest - RM200, to be exact. And that's more than the remaining interest due. So sakit hati! and they took the money without even acknowledging it. Hello.. that's a few thousand of my sweat and tears, okay? The least you can do is acknowledge that you have taken the money... instead every month i still get the standard letter "reminding" me that I don't owe them anything.. Yeesh!! Sakit hati...

Nasib baik semalam someone suggested i ask for an interest reduction. Yup. they should. Like 0%, since i basically have paid off the f**king loan! I hate this 'international' bank.

Just an Update

2010-02-15T01:19:00.002+08:00

What have I been up to?

Am hungry now. Barely had dinner, unless you count oatmeal cookies and gulai ayam dipped with bread. Just finished watching Julie & Julia, something I downloaded quite some time ago. It was fun watching how the stories unfolded. Then of course I had to look up the blog and read more about the story. But now it's late and I need to decide if eating a cookie at 1.30 a.m. is going to make me fat tomorrow. Also have other food in the kitchen, but have no appetite for real food at this hour. Maybe I should just drink a glass of (low-fat) milk. And how did I end up with a stash of oatmeal cookies?

Was planning to make choc chip cookies today - to clear off old baking supplies stock. But changed my mind and decided to try something new. Haven't explored anything in a while... Looked through my stash of cookbooks and decided on Cinnamon Raisin and Chcolate oatmeal cookies instead. Unfortunately the cinnamon raisin bombed tastewise. Spice combination went awry i'm afraid... As I closed pages, saw 2 projects not qite done. Sigh, hope to get back on track soon. Have spent days just trying to rejuvenate my dead brain (and hopefully spleen) cells and cleaning house.

I'm starting to feel more human again now. Maybe I should take off and do some birding tomorrow...

I have a Theory...

2010-01-27T21:40:00.002+08:00

In light of recent developments when my thinking facilities have been severely retarded due to unknown causes, I've been wondering - WHAT HAPPENED? Seriously. Why does one's brain simply jam up, unable to process information or churn out practical thoughts beyond the mechanical?

I remember hence that at one point i said out loud, "My brain HURTS." And it did. It hurt. I felt that it's swollen and grown too big for the skull. My head wanted to fall off.

What if... Kalau ikut drama melayu for sure got brain tumour punya lah. But what if it's a natural progression from overworking that anatomy more or less continously, with insufficient sleep, and poorly regulated blood sugar levels, causing it to physically swell up? Thus it would harden and tense, blocking blood flow to neurons and synapses and whatever else is supposed to work properly in there?

Can a doctor check on this? can they detect that my "stupefied" state was due to some kind of abnormal activity in the brain? It's possible, right? I know I was tired and stressed out, and it had been going on for ages. Furthermore, when I missed yet another deadline, I felt guilty and even more stressed and slept even less trying to sort it out, probably making the problem worse...

Does this make any sense? Wouldn't a brain need a good supply of fresh oxygenated blood to think clearly and creatively? Wouldn't it suffer from lack of nutrition/oxygen/exercise or too much bad stuff like sugar and salt? Hmm...

Oh well, am no doctor, but it sure beats the "my stepmother put a spell on me" theory!

Do you always have to play nice?

2010-01-24T18:27:00.001+08:00

You teach people how to treat you, right? Lately have been too nice and allow people to put me off. In the end, aku jugak yang kena tembak! Man... have to reclaim my ganas side, otherwise things won't get done~!!

Omens

2010-01-23T18:08:00.002+08:00

If you watch horror movies, there'll always be bits where small things are a precursor to weirder happenings. it's just artistic license, but it does eat at your psyche.

My stuff:
Car radio - had 'cardiac arrest' and died. TOD: 15:14. Stuck there forever
Earphone/mic set - screwed wiring. Sounds not good anymore (been using it 5 yrs no problem)
Watch - screwed clip buckle - keeps popping open
Office PC - burnt USB hub

I can't help feeling negative when bad things keep happening. And sometimes you just know that the time has come for change. I realized that superficial change could affect your insides too, and you become confused and unhappy. Some things are an integral part of your being, and being disconnected from it could result in losing your self - or your mind! I need to reconnect. Going back where I belong :)

Life is Like Climbing a Mountain

2010-01-18T19:40:00.002+08:00

You know how it works... You're supposed to move steadily upwards until you reach your goal. However, things are easier said than done, aren't they?

Sometimes you run out of steam. Hikers lingo - pancit. Reason: no stamina, no energy, poor strategy, bad planning, bad luck

Sometimes bad things just hit you again and again, draining and kicking you in the butt and giving you a moon in the process.

The sucky thing is, it's not always possible to turn tail and run. Sometimes quitting is just as difficult as continuing. Rescue not always an option either. You'll just have to crawl your way through it.

The good news is, you'll feel good when you reach the top. What happens if you don't?

A Touch of Magic

2010-01-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

What makes a love story great? As connoisseur of romance (read: trashy) novels and sappy stories, I'd say one key element is improbability. Like, what are the odds of the handsome English duke falling in love with an utterly 'ill-mannered' (actually she's just different) American heiress? Well, i guess it helps if both of them are drop dead gorgeous. However, there are many tales of the rich, not so handsome guy falling in love with the not-so georgeous cleaning lady who already has an illegitimate son, etc.

A lot of trashy novels make the hero filthy RICH and the lady an heiress. In many modern tales, people are less rich. But one thing i notice - the stories are more exciting if the hero is rich. Why ah? he he.. Except for Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas where the hero is poor. But still, he is..

BRAVE. Aha! ala.. nama pun HERO. mestilah berani. and honourable (even though he's broke). Girl also very pure hearted even though she's tomboyish/fat/ugly/clumsy etc.

lagi satu - they are always so the clever one. must be so terror like that.

Then there must be some element of magic or coincidence. Like every time, the same guy help the girl. Even though they fight all the time., they still fall in love. Magic or not?

Of course the dot dot dot must be super hot la. If not, no story.

But usually la, I find, if the girl oredy has a 'perfect' guy, then in the end he'll turn out to be the villain. Then "annoying" guy becomes beloved hero. Why? Because 'nice guy' was faking it, hero was just his normal charming/annoying self. Waahh.. so like that ah?

But really, too often I find 'charming' guys are actually charming because they practice a lot oredy. Not because they're so great. PR only... Someone pointed out that sometimes we need to argue because then we'll be able to sort out things we're not happy with. Keep quiet, we think everything ok when actually it's not.

But bottomline - happy ever after. The challenge is, how do we know that it's for real?

What's Your Tune?

2010-01-13T21:07:00.002+08:00

Am feeling mellow and happy listening to Santana on CD. Guess I'm a rock chick, then, aren't I? I so love the rock kapak bands of the 80's, Bon Jovi and Scorpion. Fave tune: Blaze of Glory la, what else. But I draw the line at Death Metal. Too dark for me.

Yesterday was in a car of a jazz afficionado. Blech. Have to admit, their music/singing is technically nice, but the tune totally puts me off! Give me 70's Malay pop pun tak apa. I like Il Divo and such, but they also can be annoying (ikot mood le ni..) :P So what's Your poison? :D

What the...?

2010-01-13T12:37:00.002+08:00

Had a full day outside shoot yesterday. Came back feeling feverish and tired - slightly dehydrated, I guess. Was stressed too, with rushing out early in the morning, spending all day with a myriad of crazy characters in the hot sun and occasional rain.

Was heading for the shower when I decided to open my window wider. Gave the pane a push but it was stuck. Pushed harder and the whole thing went flying down - all the way to the ground floor! I shrieked, there was nothing I could do to stop its fall. There was a bump and the inevitable crash as the glass smashed to smithereens. There is a restaurant at that corner and they often put tables outside... There were cars parked by the side of the building too... Worried that someone had been hurt or a car smashed, I decided to go down and check.

It took me a while before I could do this as I had to hunt up something decent to wear, and the lifts were slow. I walked down five flights before getting one. As I approached the parking lot, a small group had already gathered - guys from the surau I suppose. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the freak accident. Miraculously, the pane glided onto a kerb right between 2 cars and bounced before shattering, slightly grazing the bumper of one vehicle in the process. A motorcycle was parked there but the guy fled before I arrived.

According to the guys, it's not the first time such an incident happened. The windows on the block roll on shallow grooves, allowing them to dislodge easily. Furthermore, most units installed grilles on the inside, thus there was nothing to prevent panes from turning into deadly projectiles if it falls away. Eeps!

I offered to pay the girl who owns the car for repairs to the bumper, but now I feel it's a bit unfair for me to foot the bill for superficial graze from a freak accident caused by corner cutting developers... Maybe I can offer to pay half instead? Sigh. Still need to discuss the incident with the house owner... Geez. Such things never happened in my 30 year old house!

Tired but Happy

2010-01-05T12:21:00.003+08:00

Am getting a tic in my left eyelid. Amazingly, it's a medical condition with it's own name - blepharospasm. Arwah my mom used to say that it means someone in the family is passing on. I Googled it and learnt that it's usually caused by extreme fatigue or stress. Well that explains it!

Am still getting used to the new bed, haven't been sleeping very soundly of late. Also sleeping really late putting things away. Mein Gott! My clothes 2 suitcases aje, my 'odds and ends' tak terkira banyaknya. Amazingly they are actually utilised quite regularly. Last night gave up on sorting my pile of miscellanous documents and just stuffed them into the filing cabinet. Out of sight, out of mind. Done! Will revisit them when I'm free.

Room and house is comfy now, only my fax machine je tertinggal lagi, and a set of nice pinggan mangkuk from the old house. I think I'll take the old "Happy England" set. Those were Mom's favourites.. Still need to go back to the old house to pack away my books and old lecture notes (yes, I'm a data hoarder). Still not ready to let go 5 years down the road.

Cats are going bonkers being enclosed in the limited space. The blackies would be happy to go back to the old house once Abang moves in. I think Leo would be OK anywhere as long as I'm around, but I worry he'll get fat with nothing to do all day except sleep and stare out the window. No one to fight with and nothing to hunt... he never liked to play very much. Maybe I should get a cat leash and take him for walks downstairs. The poor boy is looking so morose being cooped up at home all day. I do let him out to explore the corridor, but the little chickenheart always turn tail and head home the moment i stop following him. Don't want him to enter other people's houses either. Hmm... poor baby!

Work is... scary. We're working on 3 issues almost concurrently. And this year is our 50th anniversary, which means the Anniversary issue. Eeeps... NOT exciting for me. I want to go back to conservation, if they'll have me... What use is my Masters right? Spent a lot of money doing that, musn't let it go to waste.

Anyway, it's nice to have a kitchen I can clean in 10 minutes flat. It always takes ages to clean up the big house. Happy New Year, everyone!

Never Ending Story

2009-12-24T08:47:00.002+08:00

As I'm gasping out the last of my write-ups, the next month's starting to come due. Urgh. Doesn't help that last night I forgot to pluck out my thumb-drive so I couldn't clean up my piece at home. Nak pergi ambik, dah lewat. So decided to come in early instead.

Since my sleep pattern pun dah gone bonkers already, I woke up at 4.30 a.m. and was in the office by six. Unfortunately tertinggal my tudung on the table, so had to ask my colleague if she could bring one for me. In the meantime - am wearing my red shawl. Mengarut betul.

Have been fine until I ingested my breakfast - 2nd half of Subway from last night. Started feeling sleepy right away. Darn it! Too heavy kot. I so don't need to go to sleep again!! Had some coffee - still not working. Haiya.. A walk usually helps, but I need to finish my work la! Adehh... Why did you think I came in so early???

Besok - wanna do my washing and clean up the new apartment. Can put up the curtains and start moving stuff already. Unfortunately will need to sort out my tons of papers and magazines this weekend. No point moving garbage, is there? Am looking forward to this. Have been so worn out, I haven't paid any attention to the poor house at all. Hopefully a smaller pad would be easier to take care of. Am letting go of the inherited junk. I need a new life :)

Insane Obsessions

2009-12-23T19:47:00.004+08:00

Was just looking at some discussions about benefits of mangosteen juice - including pericarp (the kulit). They were comparing ORAC values - oxidative whatever - and the numbers look scarily high to me. 21000 ppm? I don't even know what unit they use. Should we be ingesting something so potent? What if it backfires and start oxidising important organs and cell parts?

Sorry to my American friends, but many seem to be obsessed with statistics. A number of people are so obsessed the numbers that they forget to consider other factors such as optimal amounts, instead of excessive (perceived as impressive) numbers. Brings to mind certain stories about girls who go all out eating everything soya to avoid breast cancer and ended up getting exactly that because she ingested way too much of it. Most foods have a combination of phytochemicals and nutrients in it, which is why we should refrain from taking too much of anything.

And strangely, every so called 'new' diet discovery will be completely turned around in the next 2 years. First palm oil is bad, then other oils - containing trans-fat - is now bad. so basically we'll need to see who can survive the constant change in mind to find a consistently good choice - eg olive oil. Eggs - same thing. First it's good, then no good, then whites only, then whole eggs are better. Hello! Make up yr mind, please? Reason I take a lot of so called 'literature' and 'research findings' with a bucket of salt.

My personal take - do things in moderation. Raw food diet anyone?

I wish for...

2009-12-21T14:24:00.002+08:00

... A nice cool bed to crash in
... darkened, air-con room
... sweet scents
... warm bubble bath
... but mainly, a nice place to crash in.
... oh ya. Work all done and a week off. So that I can crash. How nice!

Why is it that...

2009-12-19T14:45:00.002+08:00

Why is it that some brands impress us more than others? Is it imaginary? Is it marketing? Why are some brands so much more popular than a competitor we feel is more deserving?

Take stationery. I don't know why I love Faber-Castell goods so much. There's so many different brands out there! I just bought a simple sharpener and I'm already in love with its nifty swivelling design and sharpening prowess. It's not advertised, but I know from experience that it won't break apart after a mere few weeks!

Then there's the coffee chain S***bucks. Personally, prefer CBTL. But for one, it's slightly more expensive, and there are less outlets. Look and feel, about the same. But CB stuff taste so much better, probably due to less sugar and better Dutch cocoa! But since SB is so much more agressive in its campaigning, so many people swear that it has the 'best' coffee. Hmm.. the power of marketing...

Or sometimes it's blatant manipulation. Had a smoke last night and couldn't resist the Sampoerna. Other than the lovely cengkih smell, they also put sugar on the filter! Geez, what a way to encourage poisoning your own body. At least it doesn't make me cough like whatever thing I confiscated from my Tai Kor all those years ago. Hmmm... should I get another dose of poison today? Sigh.. what does it mean when you start trying to kill yrself?

Fening...

2009-12-11T22:38:00.002+08:00

Selangor cuti, I pun cuti lah... So penat rasa macam nak tidor 5 hari 5 malam. Been pushing and pushing and pushing non stop sampai rasa macam dok tolak tembok batu - takde guna dah. Tak larat. Badan sakit2 and kepala sengal. Rasa macam otak ni dah bengkak dah kat dalam tu.

Took the day off, petang shopping sikit, balik rumah nak semayang Asar terus lena depan TV sampai ke Isya'. I donno what I'm doing in the office right now. Nak beli cat food, kedai tutup. Anak2 aku dah mogok taknak makan dry food. Satu hari dok melilau macam orang hilang akal. Pening. Would it be any better if I actually had another half? I doubt it.

Today is Bad Fiction Day

2009-11-28T00:19:00.003+08:00

Ever since I enthused about Hans after watching Cuci the other day, someone has been convinced that I'm in love with the guy. Eh, hello, I'm so not eighteen okay? And as for fans, the guy can petik jari and a gazillion girls will come swarming over to him la. I'm just behaving like any other girl enjoying the scenery. Or like boys drooling over Angelina Jolie. 1) They know they can't beat Brad Pitt, and 2) They know she's so way out of their league. But what if...

[Disclaimer: the rest of this is purely out of the demented writer's overactive imagination]

I can't believe this. She set me up! Dragging me along for an event, inviting me to join 'an old friend' for dinner, and then excusing herself with some cockamamie story. Unbelievable.

So there I sat, incredulously watching my bl**dy ex-colleague sashay off to her imaginary appointment. I was left with a cute movie star whom I enjoyed watching on stage but had no delusions of dating. What would the gossipmongers say? That he'd run out of luck and ended up in an escort service? One, I have no budget to pay for social escorts and two, do I look like someone he'd voluntarily ask out for dinner? Dammit. We'd already ordered and truth be told, I was hungry. I decided to suffer the uncomfortable silence until after I've stuffed my face. They we can politely say goodnight and I can go find that woman and strangle her.

"Ehm.. so... you're a freelance writer?"

Alamak.. he's trying to make polite conversation la pulak. Oh well, what's the harm in that? I put on a fake smile. "Partly. I prefer translating, but writing jobs help fill in the gaps."

"But you used to write full time? What do you write about?"

Alaa mamat nih.. Bagi la aku translation job. Takyah la tanya pasal writing. Adeh... "Yeah, used to write full time for My World magazine. Got tired of it after a while. Had no time to do stuff, working all the time. I did the feature pages, interviews, health stories, stuff like that."

I decided to turn the tables on him. "So, what are you working on now? Any new projects?" Darn, now I sound like a gossip columnist prying for a scoop.

"I have some ideas, I need a scriptwriter to flesh it out into a story." Oh no! He's angling for a scriptwriter. Aku mana la reti tulis skrip cik abang oi! saba ajelah. I need a way out. "Hmm, I could ask a few friends. Hey, I heard you scuba dive. Is that true?" Cross fingers, hope this works...

"Yeah! Do you dive?" He was enthusiastic. Good!

"No, I just swim. And snorkel sometimes." Amazingly, the conversation turns to nature and outdoor activities, which we both enjoy. This isn't half bad, I thought.

After the dinner, he walks me to the car and we hug goodnight. Okay, yes, I feel guilty doing it. But I couldn't resist. Can't be too prudish at this age la. It's just a hug...

As I crawl into bed that night (early morning, actually), I saw a message on the phone. It was him. [Hope you got home safely. Good night!.] Oops.. when did that come in. Oh well, too late to reply now. Never mind, I'll do it tomorrow.

The next morning I decided to go for a swim before breakfast. I had finished a job the night before (hence the late hour) and the next thing won't be due until next week. I could spend an hour doing laps in the pool.

As I swam back and forth, I reflected on how lucky I had been. I recently managed to get my own pad, after years of dreaming about it. My unit is on the first floor of a walk-up apartment block. I initially wanted one on a higher floor, but those are larger and more expensive. Anyway, I wanted a place low enough for Leo to go roaming about without worrying about height related accidents. Now I'm back to freelancing, I could spend time cleaning, cooking and exercising instead of working all the time. Plus, I could nap in the afternoons and take a break during Ramadhan. My body clock gets really screwed up with all the bangun sahur and whatnot. Projects are coming in, and payments are not too bad either. I wasn't worried about car and house installments. Even managed to stash some money in KWSP and savings. I wasn't doing too bad at all.

Walking home after my swim, I noticed someone loitering near my front door. Uh oh! Darn, could it be some felon who sailed past the security guards? As I got closer I realised that it was Hans. Omigod... what the heck is he doing here? I ventured an unsteady hi.

He looked up and saw my dripping wet form. He looked closer. Eh hello! Stop ogling me in my swimmers can or not, you pervert? Don't you have enough pretty girls to look at? Now some tired old woman also you want to kacau? I cocked an eyebrow. He had the temerity to grin at me. Shit. I'm a sucker for cute guys and... "What's up?" I blurted out. Sigh. Stress always made me say the stupidest things. No wonder I don't date!

"You never replied my SMS."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot this morning. It was late when I saw it. Please don't tell me you came because of that. Don't you have appointments or something?" Damn, my mulut totally lost its insurance there.

"I wanted to talk to you about my story idea, see if you want in on the scriptwriting."

Owh.. that makes more sense. I invited him in and started a pot of coffee brewing. He made use of my computer while I changed. Now, how do i tell him that I've never done fiction in my life? Oh well, I'll wing it...

And that, was how our friendship started.

**************************
I'm obviously not much of a fiction writer, but I decided I need to exercise my creativity a little bit more than usual. Today was an off day for me, no work whatsoever, so I actually came up with this crazy story while playing Bejeweled 2. Did you enjoy it? It really doesn't matter. I just needed to get my brain moving, that's all. Good night!!

Mari Merarau...

2009-11-23T16:51:00.002+08:00

Tiba2 teringat perkataan yang dipelajari 2 tahun lepas semasa mengikuti kursus terjemahan.

Selama ini kita selalu menggunakan ungkapan 'makan tengahari' untuk menterjemahkan 'lunch'. Satu yang aku kurang gemar dengan menulis BM ini adalah perkataan2 yang panjang2 belaka. Namun di seberang laut Cina Selatan sudah lama menggunakan perkataan yang straight to the point bila tiba time lunch - MERARAU.

Usaha mempopularkan perkataan ini di semenanjung masih belum berhasil, tetapi alangkah senangnya kerja penterjemah kalau perkataan ini digunakan ramai...

Mari tingkatkan penggunaan Bahasa Malaysia yang betul. :)

Oh Wither Did Thy Heart Go??

2009-11-11T21:42:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when things just ain't right, the answer boils down to not having the heart. The heart is all powerful. It drives you- your wants, your desires, your needs. It gives energy and zeal and excitement. It can race or skip a beat. It can also stop dead in its track, or cause you to stop short in yours...

But what if you have no idea where your heart is? You don't know where it lies. You don't know what excites you. And you don't know how to get it back. Is it dead? Can it be revived? What caused it to die in the first place? Was it a poison? Was there ever a spark?

I don't know...

Ode to a Baju Buruk

2009-11-06T16:23:00.002+08:00

As I was putting away my clothes the other day, I noticed how frayed the collar of my favourite pink shirt has become. Over the years, I've bought and given away a pile of clothing, but two of my favourite shirts are still my weekend favourites. Bought 13 years ago when I first started work, I remember paying a mere RM9 for each at a discount store in Atria.
Tried buying others, but the material was invariably too thin or too thick. My dad's old shirts - didn't make the grade either. Just spoke to a girl who is a bit butch, she seemed a little shy to be wearing men's shirts on our magazine. Assured her that I wore men's shirts too and realized that it's true - i love those old shirts!
Reasons -
i) I love the cotton that absorbs sweat as I hike/bird/kayak/do marketing/wait for car repairs
ii) I love the feel of the cotton which, after years of washing, have turned so soft and comforting on the skin. They even qualify as nightwear.
iii) The length and cut is just right. They cover my ass and hips without being too boxy.
iv) They're fuss free. They don't snag, they're easily washable. I can take them to the market and the forest and not worry about stains.
Due to job requirements I never wear those shirts to work la, but darn, can't beat them when it comes to my weekend activities. What WOULD I do if those shirts finally give up the ghost??

What's Up Doc?

2009-11-02T20:18:00.002+08:00

Am feeling a bit run down now. Been a long day, but want to finish something before I sign off. Esok ada assignment, meaning half the day will be outside. Lagipun kalau tak push sekarang, esok karang tonggang terbalik nak kejar deadline.

Last weekend - layan personal matters. Nak repair keta aja dah 4 1/2 jam! Tak tau la kenapa kedai tu tukar bulb lampu dengan hon pun sampai 2 jam. Pastu tukar absorbers + arm lagi 2 jam 1/2. Boring gila tunggu kat situ. My regular shop ok sikit...

Ni dok call sana, call sini, email sana, email sini.. write up tak siap2. Jangan la jam kepala hotak aku ni. Niaya!

Zakat kucing???

2009-10-14T18:35:00.002+08:00

Masa balik raya hari tu, pergi la rumah nenek sedara ni. Ada ibu kucing kat sana. Anak dia sorang tu (pangkat makcik) tu ngadu la, diorang bela kucing nak control tikus, tapi si ibu ni asyik beranak la pulak. Pastu dia kata tak sempat nak bawak anak kucing tu buang kat rumah sedara lagi satu yang suka kucing. I feel that this is a very irresponsible way of doing things.

Since we all selalu duduk rumah sedara yang lagi satu tu kalau balik kampung, I know macam mana keadaan rumah dia dan keadaan kucing2 tu. It seems semua orang kat kampung tu dispose anak kucing diorang kat rumah dia. Dah terlampau banyak sampai tak terjaga. Hari tu diorang buatkan kandang, tapi lantainya simen. Memang senang nak cuci, tapi baunya busuk ya Rabbi! Lagipun, diorang tu bukannya kaya raya. Nak kasi makan kucing tak cukup duit, so bagilah apa yang ada. Rata2 semua kucing2 kat situ bantut and berpenyakit. Tak zalim ke namanya buat kucing macam tu? Yang dibenarkan masuk rumah, suka berak kencing merata2. Lagipun, tak adil la masing2 lepas tangan buang kucing kat satu rumah tu aje, assuming the lady will take them in. Take in boleh la, tapi jaganya tak betul!! cara mudah elak kucing beranak - kasi makan antibiotik, biar gugur. Dia kata pil mandul, I tanya vet, dia kata no such thing! I pernah bawak balik some of the cats, semua mati or lari pasal memang dah berpenyakit semua.

Bila tanya makcik yang mula tu kenapa tak mandulkan aje, dia kata takut berdosa. Habih tu buat diorang menderita tak dosa la pulak. Kucing tu bukan macam manusia. Only humans & one other species enjoy sex for pleasure. Yang lain tu semua out of natural urge to reproduce. Kalau tak beranak pun diorang tak rasa rugi. I tak sanggup tengok kucing kena langgar sana sini, buang sesuka hati, merayau2 mintak makanan, kena pukul, kena simbah air panas... kesian...

From experience, mama cats can be a pain in the ass. First, they tend to become flatulent, dok kentut aje. Busuk pulak tu. Then selalu cirit/ coroi. Then bergaduh dengan kucing lain to protect their babies. Case in point - Mama cat & Leo. Kesian my cat curi2 balik rumah makan takut Mama Cat pukul. Then satu hal nak carikan rumah untuk the babies. Nak bela semua, mahal sangat. Kalau setakat kasi makan, ok la. Kalau dah sakit? Sekali pegi vet dah beratus2 habis. Semput makcik! Yang jantan pulak, suka memancit & bergaduh. Merayau2, balik dah calar balar sakit. Kesian la pulak. Kalau dah fix, diorang happy jer. Lagipun, takde la diorang kencingkan kasut orang sebelah. Itu hak jiran tu, kena jaga.

Hukumnya: This is what I found dekat website Jakim:-

Apakah hukumnya jika kita memandulkan/mengembirikan binatang peliharaan seperti kucing jantan dan betina?

Hukum mengembirikan/memandulkan kucing peliharaan adalah haram sekiranya memberi kemudaratan kepada kucing berkenaan.

Namun begitu, sekiranya bilangannya sudah terlalu banyak dan tidak sempat untuk menguruskannya, maka kucing tersebut bolehlah dimandulkan untuk menjaga maslahah ammah. Wallahu ‘alam.

----

As I understand, the operation is safe if performed properly, so not mudarat to the animal. Since the reason I spay/castrate my cats is so that I can take better care of them, my conscience is clear. Lagipun, I find that kucing jantan yang dikembirikan masa kecik (<1 yr), they are still active, pandai berburu & still pandai bergaduh bila perlu. females pun OK aje. Takde la jadi bodoh & obese macam orang kata. Kucing kampung pun kalau dijaga elok, lawa & menghiburkan. Tak payah beli baka mahal2 pun.

Pastu, tetiba terdengar pulak ada org kata kucing yg dah mandul kena bayar zakat... Zakat?? Makcik ni takde la tau sangat hukum hakam agama, tapi tak pernah la pulak dengar yang kucing yang dimandulkan kena bayar zakat. Yang amazingnya, orang yang kata tu cakap pernah disebut dalam khutbah Jumaat! Oleh itu terpaksa la makcik mencari jawapannya dari sumber2 yang boleh dipercayai. Finally found this dekat website Pusat Pungutan Zakat.

Bagaimana zakat untuk kucing sekiranya hendak dimandulkan?

Kewajipan menunaikan zakat hanya ke atas orang Islam sahaja yang cukup syarat wajib berzakat.

---

So I hope this post will help convince orang2 yang masih ragu2 dalam hal ini supaya kita boleh berhenti menganiaya haiwan, walaupun secara tidak sengaja. Buang kat tempat makan atau pasar tu OK la sikit pasal harap2 ada yang sanggup kasi makan, tapi kalau boleh, nak bela, bela la betul2. Wallahu a'lam.

Forrest Grump

2009-10-08T10:13:00.002+08:00

A messy house is so not good for me. Was about to leave for work when I decided to fry some cekodok for breakfast. Kitchen was a veritable mess. Everything needed cleaning up. Lost my temper when mama cat closed in on my cekodok batter. Now she's gone into hiding and I'm feeling rather guilty. But then, she has her food, and there's lots of biscuits which she now mengada-ngada refuse to eat. I haven't had time to buy and serve fresh fish for a long time. I haven't had time for anything the past few weeks! My garden is a veritable jungle. Loret's dill has beranak pinak and I have no idea what to do with the herbs! I wish people will quickly come and pick up their kittens so I'll have less mess to worry about. K Ayu will have to take Obi for vaccination tomorrow. Should be able to fix them in a couple of weeks time. Not really in the mood for Singapore, too many loose ends to tie up over here. Am still at sea about documents and people needed for Monday. No one else has stepped up to take care of things while I'm trying to finish stuff. Been spending too much money on various things. I'm tired. Work - busy as usual.

Went to work anyway, counting on her colleagues to cheer her up as the day progresses. Driving along, got stuck behind super slow Citra. Oi! Lesen kopi-O ke? Press horn. Nothing. Horn broken. Yeesh. Roundabout - needless jam because no one follows traffic rules. Drive into crappy parking lot - most spots closer to gate is full (obviously, what did you expect?). Then grumpy ol' git (that's me) decided to squeeze her M sized car in an XS sized space because it's nearer. Managed to squeeze in without harming anyone, but discovered that SHE could not exit. Drizzling some more and reluctant to open bulky big payung. Carrying heavy watermelon pakcik gave her and don't think can finish at home. Move car? No way! In the end, put payung on roof, bag and food on the ground and squeezed herself out of car.

On the way up, ignored old parking lot uncle and totally dissed gatal old guard. Dammit, I want my cute young guard back! Now have had some cekodok and chocolate, so feeling a little better. Hope the day improves as we go along. Getting more work done would surely cheer me up!

Backing Up

2009-10-05T12:38:00.003+08:00

It seems that inanimate objects do have feelings too.
My simple old phone works perfectly and I have no reason to replace it just yet. It IS 3 yrs old and sometimes do funny things, a sign that the electronics may be starting to age. But as I said, still doesn't need to be replaced until it dies...
Well, I fell a little in love with the E63 when I saw Endang's last June. Diyana wanted one too so I went and temankan her look for one in Mustafa. Off and on, I'd wander to a phone shop and enquire about the E63. Not that my phone needed replacing immediately, but I wanted to have some kind of idea what I'd replace it with just in case it died. Caught unawares, I might not have the cash to buy the replacement I like. New phones are not cheap and the cheap ones don't seem to appeal anymore. I think I'd like one that could pick up my emails if necessary and bluetooth stuff to my laptop for backup purposes. I also don't want to spend too much hard earned money on it. My office does not pay 6 months bonus, and whatever extra money I make are all earmarked for something else. Got a bit excited when a guy in DigiMall said he could get me one for RM880, original. Seems a pretty good offer, and I suppose I could save up a couple of months for it.
Got a bit of a shocker when later that afternoon my current phone went on the blink and started asking for the Sim which was, of course, already inside. Eeps! Maybe it felt that I had 'strayed' by 'looking at sexier new models' in its presence. Had to pujuk my phone and reassure "it" that I'm not ready to buy a new phone and beg it not to quit immediately. Nasib baik it complied and started working again. Adoi. Phone pun dah pandai merajuk. But at least now I know what I'd like to get next :) Just don't tell my phone, OK? Heh.

Contraceptive Failure

2009-09-28T10:43:00.002+08:00

And here are the results.. For the record, I had all the intention of spaying the mama cat, but the local tom beat me to it. So there!

Now, these babies need good homes and lots of TLC. Yanie has booked one. I'm reserving Curly Wurly, the sweetest one for her. Another 3 to go. There are 2 males and 2 females. Mom is a Persian mix.

Babies are healthy, playful and TOILET TRAINED. Already over a month old and eating solid food. Interested? Call me at 019-267 4896. Thanks - Oza

Selamat Hari Raya!

2009-09-18T22:00:00.002+08:00

Ha. Inilah aku.. Orang semua dah selamat sampai kampung baru aku nak ucapkan selamat beraya... My own plans pun dok tukar sampai seblas juta kali baru nak confirm. Sebenarnya takde mood nak raya pasal tensyen kerja tak siap2 sejak tiga minggu lepas. Pastu bukan ada nak beraya dengan sapa pun.

So, supaya dapat R.I.P. (Raya in Peace), aku pun nekad la stay back nak menyiapkan dua mukasurat yang dari hari tu tak setel-setel. Dah la overdue, takde idea pulak. Masalahnya, selepas calling2 dengan berbagai pihak tadi, my plans dah tukar dari balik kampung 1st day to balik early tomorrow morning. How that's going to happen, I don't know. Tawakkal ajelah. I dah nak habis bateri dah ni. Takde mood nak buat apa-apa. The thought of going home and hitting the bed is so very the appealing right now... Pathetic kan? Abih tu camna, kata nak siapkan keja, tapi dok main telepon tak sudah2. Hish. Napalah benda alah ni tak boleh nak disiapkan awal2 dulu? Budus betul.

DIY Culture

2009-09-14T13:33:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty used to doing bits and pieces myself, even though plumbing is rather beyond me. Some things are just too scary to contemplate - like changing a damaged wall socket. That one my daddy took care of. Other minor minor things I can do la.

Lately, have been DIYing my cats' various minor ailments. Dulu impian nak jadi vet tak tercapai kan... So now jadi quack meow doctor la.. Leo's tail didn't heal well after treatment so i used a combination of antiseptic spray, squeezing out the pus and TLC until it healed completely. Vet mahal ma..

Then the mama cat pulak appeared with a stinky ear. I donno what happened, but the ear stunk BAD. Something akin to smelly feet like that. At first we just stayed well away from her and occasionally ventured to spray antiseptic in the infected ear. Later, I figured that it needed much more than the occasional spritz, so I looked up the topic on the internet, hunted up a bottle of ear cleaner and proceeded to deal with the cat. How difficult can it be, right? I did watch the vets closely on previous occasions..

On my first attempt - after I put in a few drops of cleaning lotion, she vigorously shook her head and stinky droplets flew onto ME. Ewww!!! The things I do for the cats! There was lots of caked up stuff too so maybe it's ear mites. Sigh. Where DO these things come from? But fifteen minutes and a pile of dirty cotton later, she was relatively clean and smelling much better. Phew! The next day it had improved. Bits of caked wax came out each day. It's still a funny consistency but much better anyhow. So now it's kind of a ritual to check her ear every night, no matter how late I come back. Sometimes I give it a rest and clean only if it smells. Hope she gets well soon. Cats meds are so much more expensive than human ones.. :(

Now, she needs spaying. Neighbourhood vet - RM200. UPM.. was it RM120? But then I'll need to get her jabbed first, send her to Serdang the day before and pick her up the day after... Might cost more in the end. Tapi bulan ni... budget duit keta double, Raya, wedding in Singapore... Bulan depan la kot... Nak DIY tak boleh!

Hepi Hepi Soda Gumbira

2009-09-08T09:24:00.002+08:00

If ever there was something to rejuvenate jaded souls, it would be the most wonderful Tekadmons. I was so horribly lazy the whole of Saturday, takde semangat even to go and buy items I needed for my pengat pisang. But by the time we entered the Istana Gema Bali Putra, my spirits had perked right up. And by the time we had a few glasses of the super special "Soda Gumbira", we were all climbing off the walls!

It's been a long time since we all got together for makan2. The change in venue was a blessing in disguise as we were free to be as hyper as we wanted at Lan & Aizan's place. The only thing missing was my beloved Cyber-shot. It was superflous in my bag, so I took it out and forgot to reinstate it before we left. So no personal collection for me this time :(

The camera has become the new "don't leave home without it" item. It used to be the binoculars. Anyway, since I now have my good friend "Mac", I'll be free to roam the wilderness on weekends again. Thinking of booking an apartment in Frasers in October. Anybody wanna come with?

It was supposed to be funny!!

2009-09-01T10:01:00.002+08:00

Well, it was funny. Quite, really. But some parts were so poignant that I started crying instead! To make things worse, I rummaged in my bag and there were no stray tissues available. In the end it was Pakcik who gave me some of his... sigh.

I cried when his wife died, I cried when the nasty developers sent him to court, I cried whenever ,, dammit, I'm starting to cry again. Damned hormones!

Exhausted

2009-08-18T19:13:00.002+08:00

I'm exhausted. A bunch of information I was promised never came in the mailbox. I spent the day chasing after people trying to organise things. Boss is super angry with me because for whatever stupid reason, everything is super overdue. I just can't manage to get my work done. It's like my brain as well as my sense of urgency had left town. Plus reliance on external factors. So here I am, well after office hours, still struggling to put my stories together.

At least car finally came, so I have transport again. Especially now the rainy season has begun, motorbikes are not a good option for moving around. Last week had to deal with motor rosak as well as kena saman for roadtax mati. Otherwise I'd be at sister's mercy since we shared her car. Add to the fact that I detest the suspension on Kelisa. It sucks.

So unhappy with the thought that if I don't make time to do things around the house, they just don't get done. Period. Sis is super-picky about doing things. It seems she's afraid to get her hands dirty, so guess who has to play Indon maid... I'm over-stressed about work, and I don't get any pampering at home. :( So tired right now... I need some TLC.

The Psychology of Fasting

2009-08-11T12:21:00.002+08:00

Ramadhan is fast approaching again, and for those of us who were too lazy to puasa ganti awal-awal, now's the time to "pay up" before the next round starts.

Have forced myself to start fasting today, after a few false starts. Still have 8 days to go and Ramadhan starts next Saturday (22nd). Now, halfway through the day I'm starting to feel antsy. It's not as if I'm suffering... it's just that we're used to eating every so often that we crave the activity. I'm not even hungry! I had a late meal which qualifies as sahur. Don't expect me to wake up at 4.30 when I sleep at one la.. Don't ask why i sleep so late. My body clock is certifiably cuckoo.

Sigh.. why la we always wait until the very last moment to ganti puasa? It's not that difficult. It even gives you extra time to work because you won't have to worry about going out for lunch. We're just creatures of habit, aren't we? I think fasting is so much more a mental exercise than a physical one. Yes, we do get a bit tired after half a day without food, but it won't kill you.

Anyway, if it gets TOO bad and you fear for your life, then you'd have valid reason to break your fast and try again another day. But from experience (when I was a kid), it's mostly because we cannot tahan the mental strain of NOT doing something we're so used to doing. Heh. Even at this age it's kind of hard to fast outside of Ramadhan because we can always do it another day. :-p

Oh well, at the end of THIS day, at least, will be a sumptous feast awaiting me and my colleagues, so that will be my reward for being a good girl for another 6.5 hours. La la la...

To Rally or Not to Rally. That is the question.

2009-08-05T18:46:00.002+08:00

Personally, I hate crowds, so don't count on me to attend rallies and stuff like that. Saw what happened on Saturday on TV and wondered where I stood on the issue. Seriously, I haven't been paying attention, so I don't understand why there are 2 groups for and against ISA planning to rally. The "for" group nak apa? ISA kan dah ada?

Anyway, being the perverse being I am whenever it comes to my sis, the moment she said the rally organisers are stupid, I immediately defended them. Ye la. We're supposed to be a democratic country. How come we're not allowed to have any kind of protests? Takkan la semua protest dikira threat to community? Kalau kita asyik accept aje benda yang salah pun kita diamkan aje, passive, banyak le benda yang jadi bernanah dalam our society. Kalau nak kira permit, any permit applied by opposition semua ditolak. So nak buat apa harapkan permit yang dah for sure tak dapat? Belasah ajelah!

Next issue, ISA itself. Is it really necessary? What happens without it? What are the repercussions? I think these are the issues that need to be figured out logically, not by political parties for and against it to protect their own interests. Rakyat punya interest nak letak mana, bang?

Moving on, the rally itself. Was it really unpeaceful? Were there property damaged before the FRU came along and threw tear gas and water cannons? I heard people were chanting 'Allahu Akbar". Why? Apa kait mengaitnya dengan ISA? Tolong terangkan sikit. Yang pasti, chanting loudly can create fear among bystanders and overexcitement among ralliers. It's a natural phenomenon, like mass hysteria. Kalau sorang start destroying property, yang lain sure ikut punya. That would be so unnecessary. Personally, kalau orang kata peaceful rally, I'd visualise a quiet sit in, maybe a candlelight vigil. No chanting. That would be peaceful. Kalau dok terjerit2, mana peacefulness nya? Nak hantar surat kat Agong, pegi la hantar. Was it necessary to berarak ramai2?

So... salah ke orang yang organise rally tu? Salah ke orang yang turut serta? Salah siapa semua orang bertempiaran lari, orang awam yang takde kena mengena pun terlibat sama? Kenapa permohonan permit ditolak? Why can't people in power accept that sometimes there are differing opinions which should be considered, maybe accepted. There must be a reason people membantah. Perhaps we need to follow better guidelines, we don't need to tear the whole system down. Starting from scratch is not easy. There must have been some valid reason ISA was created. What are the risks we face without it?

What we need is accountable people on all sides, not idiots who jump to conclusions and force their will upon others even though they know that it is wrong. The problem of our country is that too many people are trampling over each other to get higher up. Cina kata Melayu malas, Melayu kata Cina penipu, India kaki kelentong, pengabisnya, siapa yang untung? Semua rugi!

Buat sekolah kebangsaan, kata terlampau Islamik, terlampau Melayu. Orang lain rasa tersisih. Dekat sekolah Cina, dia ajar budak2 Melayu bodoh. Sekolah Tamil I tak tau. How are we supposed to be unified? Kenapa tak boleh dalam satu sekolah bahasa Mandarin & Tamil dibuat matapelajaran elektif? kenapa mesti ada sekolah lain?

Jawapannya - because we don't trust each other. Do we? Be honest with yourself. We are all racist. So? How are we going to fix this problem?

Accepting the problem is a problem may be a good place to start.

One Hot Dude

2009-08-02T08:51:00.002+08:00

Went to watch The Proposal again last night. Seriously, i'm hooked. It has entered the list of my favourite rom-coms together with The Holiday, Runaway Bride and Kate & Leopold. Some may not agree with my choices. Whatever la. I loooove rom-coms. It's balm for my empty soul. Somehow it gives me hope that someday, my Gilbert Blythe or Drew Paxton will magically appear :D

Didn't think much of Ryan Reynolds in Definitely, Maybe; but I do like his character in this one. Maybe it's just me, but it was a HUGE turn on when he turned the tables on Margaret. And the guy he turned into - hmm... nice combo. A little manja, a bit rough, sweet, caring, strong.. OK OK, I know it was just a character, but you know... I wish a guy like that would like me. Ha. Maybe I'm just a sucker for bossy guys. [Flashback: "Chilis. NOW"]. Big turn on :D

Nuff said. Back to work, woman..

Celine Dion - Tell Him (Duet With Barbara Streisand)

2009-07-31T13:13:00.000+08:00

Celine:I'm scared
C:So afraid to show I care
C:Will he think me weak
C:If I tremble when I speak
C:Oooh
C:What if
C:There's another one he's thinking of
C:Maybe he's in love
C:I'd feel like a fool
C:Life can be so cruel
C:I don't know what to do

Barbra:I've been there
B:With my heart out in my hand
B:But what you must understand
B:You can't let the chance
B:To love him pass you by

B&C:Tell him
B&C:Tell him that the sun and moon
B&C:Rise in his eyes
B&C:Reach out to him
B&C:And whisper
B&C:Tender words so soft and sweet
C:I'll hold him close to feel his heart beat
B:Love will be the gift you give yourself

B:Touch him C:(Oooh)
B:With the gentleness you feel insideC: (I feel it)
B:Your love can't be denied
B:The truth will set you free
B:You'll have what's meant to be
B&C:All in time you'll see

Oooh
C:I love him B:(Then show him)
C:Of that much I can be sureB: (Hold him close to you)
C:I don't think I could endure
C:If I let him walk away
C:When I have so much to say

B&C:Tell him
B&C:Tell him that the sun and moon
B&C:Rise in his eyes
B&C:Reach out to him
B&C:And whisper
B&C:Tender words so soft and sweet
B:Hold him close to feel his heart beat
C:Love will be the gift you give yourself

C:Love is light that surely glows
C:In the hearts of those who know
C:It's a steady flame that grows
B:Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
C:Tonight love will assume its place
B:This memory time cannot erase
B&C:Your faith will lead love where it has to go

B&C:Tell him
B&C:Tell him that the sun and moon
B&C:Rise in his eyes
B&C:Reach out to him
B&C:And whisper
B&C:Whisper words so soft and sweet
B:Hold him close to feel his heart beat
C:Love will be the gift you give yourself

Oooh
B&C:Never let him go

4896

2009-07-30T17:20:00.002+08:00

Jusssssttt only found out this number's meaning. Dah la keta 4896, hp no pun 4896, rupa2nya ada makna tersirat. Haiyaa...

When Jay said my number "like bully like that", I didn't think much of it. Baru tadi I dok teringat the comments I got about the number so I Googled it. This is what I found:

4896 = see peh kau lat

See Peh : somebody
kau lat : powerful/strong/abusive

It is an expression. Here is example of typical usage : "His speech 4896","He screw people 4896".

Alamak! Had no idea it was that bad. Lalala... Wonder if 4720 is a good number :)

Addict or Habit?

2009-07-29T22:00:00.002+08:00

Things I've got into the habit of doing before sleeping, no matter how late it is: -

1. Read Anne (of Green Gables fame) - for the uninitiated, this was a popular Canadian series penned by L.M. Montgomery in the early 1900s (i think). The tale starts with little orphaned Anne being brought to the Cuthbert household in Prince Edward Island. Mistakenly, as it turns out because they really needed a BOY to help in the farm. However, soft-hearted Matthew Cuthbert took to the lovable child and soon his sister Marilla began to love her too. The story is about her frequent adventures (and mis-adventures) due to her curious and fanciful nature. I've come to the part where she is principal in a secondary school and live in a lovely rented room in Windy Poplars (that's the name of the house). One book is missing from the set and I hope I can find it somewhere before I get to that part.

2. Play games: Yes, childish as it may seem, I play computer games like any 11 year old might. I could be playing Scrabble online, Zuma, Typer Shark (to improve my typing) or whatever else. I just discovered Typing Maniac. God help me!!!

3. Try to work: Yeah. i religiously save my unfinished work in my thumb drive, bring it home, faithfully open the file on my laptop and TRY to work on it. Needless to say, it is more often than not the 'bedtime story' that whizzes me off to la la land in no time flat. Sheez. Bring work home indeed! Sudah la. Duduk ofis la sampai keja siap...

A Good Weekend

2009-07-19T22:36:00.002+08:00

These days I barely have time to do stuff anymore. Give me a chance to clean house and read, I'll be ecstatic. Managed to clean house, but needed to work too, so overall, so so la.

Abang came by with the kids last night. Tania had given me an "Omnitrix" and a cuddly monkey, I gave it to the kids. Wanted to give the monkey to Yasmeen, but Anis intercepted it. Oh well...

It's funny, the things that tickle you at this late age. Anis saw our stash of Maggi Mee in the kitchen and asked for some. I obligingly cooked a packet, then watched in amusement as the kids attacked the bowlful with gusto. Even little Yasmeen pun sibuk jugak. Hehehe.. the joys of sharing a meal. I remember when we used to share nasi ambeng that Yaie brought back from kenduri. That was so much fun!

Abang was upstairs helping K Ayu setup her computer. eh? I thought that machine dah qa lu dah.. Hidup pulak.

Adik of course seronok naik turun tangga. Plus any gathering with kids tak sah kalau takde yang melalak. nasib baik sekejap je. Pah dok bukak my mags with recipes. By the time they went back, the table penuh huru hara dengan cawan, buah, jag air, mangkuk and tah hapa2 lagi. But it was fun la.

Even gave them my Delicious. For some reason, dulu suka sangat. Bila dah beli tak suka pakai pulak. Biar la depa pakai lak. Banyak lagi perfume lain kat bilik.

Today - kerja + main2 sket. Sigh. Dah pukul 11... esok pagi2 dah ada shoot. Pieces - berapa lagi tak siap? Adess. Tarik nafassssss....!

Dead Whale shark.

2009-07-16T14:51:00.003+08:00

Why la our Malaysian kids not taught to respect wildlife? Dah la kesian the whales shark terkena jaring, naik darat jadi mainan budak2 pulak. No respect! BTW, the newspaper report captioned it as a whale. Hrmph.